François Quotes in Timeline (2003)

[Everyone is getting ready to leave, except for Josh Stern]

François: [to Stern] Remember the 50 bucks I owe you?

[hands him an I.O.U]

Robert Doniger: Oh.

Robert Doniger: [walks over to the group and takes Francois' glasses off] Sorry Francois - they didn't - have these...

François: You know, I can't see without them.

Robert Doniger: I'm sure you'll be fine. That's where we goofed up with the professor.

Francois: [to Skinner] Easy to cook, easy to eat, Gusteau makes Chinese food... Chine-easy!

Skinner: I want you to work up something for my latest frozen food concept: Gusteau's Corn Puppies. They're like corn dogs, only smaller. Bite size.

Francois: What are corn dogs?

Skinner: Cheap sausages dipped in batter and deep fried. You know, American. Whip something up. Maybe Gusteau in overalls and Huckleberry Tom hat.

Francois: Or as a big ear of corn in doggie make-up.

Skinner: Y-yes. But, please, with dignity.

Francois: Do you know what kind of a bomb it was?

Clouseau: The exploding kind.

Bruno: Isn't there anybody you can call at 3 a.m. in case you have a big problem?

François: I don't have any big problem.

Bruno: Yes, you have one, you can't call anybody at 3 a.m.!

Bruno: Same old story. You meet people, get close to them... then they're gone. Friendship is a myth.

François: Look who's talking! You make friends with everyone.

Bruno: Everyone's the same as nobody. Believe me, we're always alone.

Bruno: Are you married?

François: I am. But she isn't so much any more!

Danny Reed: François! Have you seen Mr. Hanover?

François: Twice, sir. The first time he came from his dressing room he had a telegram in his hand. He ordered scotch and soda. A bottle of each.

Danny Reed: I know! I know!

François: The second time he came from his dressing room he asked which way is Connecticut.

Danny Reed: Connecticut?

François: Connecticut. He said he had a friend there who knows about women too.

Danny Reed: Why didn't you stop him?

François: How can I stop him sir when I don't know which way is Connecticut!

Francois: Italian men think that 'Fidelity' is the name of the woman who lives across the hall.

Francois: TrËs bien, now tomorrow you kick me in the nuts.

Og: And the next day I'll get kicked.

Christopher Watkins: And then what?

Christopher Watkins: We can't get kicked in the nuts every day, she'll get suspicious!

[last lines]

[At the gala, butler Francois applauds the reunited couple as the general harrumphs his disapproval]

General de Villafranc: Tut, tut! Remember your place.

Francois: Oh, I think you're an old meanie.

Francois: Beauty is only skin deep.

Jacques St. Ives: That's it. Our friendship is over. I cannot love a man who loves a cliche.

Michèle: Read it... Read it... This is really good. This one, too. All books on the Holocaust.

François: The Shoah.

Michèle: When did the Holocaust go out? I've always heard Holocaust.

François: They say Shoah.

Michèle: Everyone says Holocaust.

François: Michèle, Holocaust means an accepted religious sacrifice. It was a Shoah, a genocide, not an offering to God.

Michèle: That TV series was called Holocaust. TV is serious stuff.

François: My sweater suits you.

Michèle: You can have it back.

François: You're sweet to wear it.

François: You doing okay?

Michèle: Yeah, I'm a Buddhist now.

François: Then you're doing fine. What's that involve?

Michèle: Lots of meditation... You've gotta work toward enlightment, nothingness.

François: That's tough.

Michèle: Yes, all of this positive energy is exhausting.

Michèle: What's your religion?

François: Meaning?

Michèle: What religion are you?

François: I'm nothing. Do I have to have one? The cops ask easier questions.

François: If I come to a Buddhist meeting with you do I have to shave my head and take off my shoes?

Michèle: You don't have to take off your shoes.

François: What, then?