Fozzie Bear Quotes in The Muppets (2011)


Fozzie Bear Quotes:

  • Kermit the Frog: What? You kidnapped Jack Black? That's illegal!

    Fozzie Bear: What's more illegal, Kermit: briefly inconveniencing Jack Black, or destroying the Muppets?

    Kermit the Frog: Kidnapping Jack Black, Fozzie!

  • Fozzie Bear: Wow, that was an expensive looking explosion! I can't believe we had that in the budget.

  • Miss Piggy's Receptionist: She has an opening in early September.

    Walter: Early September? But that's in six months!

    Fozzie Bear: That's nothing. I once waited a whole year for September.

  • Tex Richman: The show's over!

    Fozzie Bear: But we were so close!

    [bangs his head against the score board, which suddenly goes from reading, "$9,999,999" to "$99,999.99"]

    Fozzie Bear: Or... not. Eh, kinda makes me feel better, actually. We were nowhere close at all!

  • Veronica: I'm gonna shoot straight: you guys aren't famous anymore.

    Fozzie Bear: Yeesh. I wish she'd shot a little more curvy.

  • Fozzie Bear: I went to this bad sea food place the other day. Yeah, it was so bad, the catch of the day was salmon-ella!

    [No one laughs]

    Jack Black: [in pain] That joke is so 50 years old.

    [the audience laughs]

  • Fozzie Bear: [as a portrait] I didn't do it, I've been framed! Ah! Wocka wocka!

  • Fozzie Bear: Check it out, Fart-Shoes!

    [Steps on the whoopie cushions to make fart sounds]

  • Fozzie Bear: [under his breath to remind Kermit] Evil oil baron.

  • Miss Poogy: Fozzie! What the heck are you doing, hibernating? Next show starts in thirty seconds. We hired you and we can fire you, so get your butt in here, now!

    Fozzie Bear: [to Kermit about them] They terrify me. Let's go.

  • [Fozzie and The Moopets are singing to the tune of "Rainbow Connection"]

    Fozzie Bear: Why are there such great deals on our hotel rooms? Free parking for cars, not RVs.

    The MoopetsMiss Poogy: Not RVs.

    Fozzie Bear: Our wedding chapel is twenty-four hours. No marriage certificate is needed.

    Fozzie Bear: No marriage certificate is needed.

    The MoopetsMiss Poogy: No marriage certificate is needed.

    The MoopetsMiss Poogy: We're glad you found it, Pechoolo Casino. The owners.

    The MoopetsMiss Poogy: The Moopets.

    Fozzie BearThe MoopetsMiss Poogy: And me.

    Fozzie Bear: Cha-cha-cha! Thank you. We'll be back in six minutes.

  • Mahna Mahna: [sings] Mahna Mahna

    Tex Richman: You're breaking the law! I own that name!

    SnowthSnowth: [the Snowths sing] Doo-doo, do-do-doo, do-do do do do do doo.

    Gonzo: [with a bowling ball] Hey guys, I think I finally worked out how to - Whoo-ha!

    [Gonzo throws the bowling ball and hits Tex Richman]

    Fozzie Bear: 'Oil' bet that hurt.

    [Tex Richman starts laughing]

    The Newsman: This just in: Richman gives back Muppet theater and name. Change of heart, nothing to do with head injury.

    Tex Richman: [sings] Mahna Mahna

    SnowthSnowth: [the Snowths sing] Doo-doo, do-do-doo

  • Kermit: You mean all this time I've been trapped in a Russian Gulag, no one, not one single person from the Muppets, except Animal, noticed I'd been replaced by an evil criminal mastermind?

    Fozzie Bear: It sounds worse than it was...

    Walter: No, it's as bad as it sounds.

  • Fozzie Bear: [holds up a photo of Constantine] Check this out!

    [covers the mole]

    Walter: Oh, look, it's Kermit!

    [Fozzie uncovers the mole]

    Walter: [shrieks] What did you do with Kermit?

  • [last lines]

    Fozzie Bear: [after the closing credits] The movie's over, Ma. You can go home now.

  • Dominic Badguy: Dominic: International Tour Manager.

    [presents his business card]

    Fozzie Bear: "Dominic Bad Guy"?

    Dominic Badguy: "Bad-gee". It's French.

  • Walter: There's only one guy in this world who can save us! There's only one frog who can restore order, bring justice, and set things right!

    Fozzie Bear: You are talking about Kermit, right?

  • Fozzie Bear: [after they discover 'Kermit''s true identity, they scream in horror] We gotta get outta here!

    Walter: Yeah!

    [But as they attempt to leave, Constantine is right in front of them]

    Constantine: Not so fast...

    Walter: Where's Kermit?

    Fozzie Bear: Wh-wh-what do you want?

    Constantine: You have wocka-ed your last wocka, bear.

    [He prepares to attack them karate style. But then Animal attacks Constantine from above]

    Animal: Bad frog!

    Fozzie BearWalter: Animal! Good shot!

    Animal: Thank you.

  • [Fozzie discovers that Dominic has been bribing critics to give Muppets good reviews]

    Fozzie Bear: Why didn't WE think of that?... I mean, that's terrible!

  • Kermit: Bear left!

    Fozzie Bear: Right, frog!

  • Fozzie Bear: I can do an Elvis impression!

    Sam EagleJean Pierre Napoleon: ...Thank you, Muppets! No more questions!

  • [first lines]

    Film Crew: And cut!

    Walter: Wow, that was so amazing!

    Kermit: Walter, you did a wonderful job.

    Walter: Thank you, Kermit. Did we get that?

    Miss Piggy: We got it.

    Kermit: We got it, yup.

    Film Crew: [speaks into bullhorn] Movie's over, people, go home. That is a wrap.

    Scooter: Okay, nice work, everyone. Make sure to fill out your I-9's, and we'll see you on the next one.

    Scooter: [crew leaves the set] So uh, what do we do now?

    Fozzie Bear: Well, we're together again. We got the theater and all our fans are back.

    Rowlf the Dog: Actually, those were extras.

    Fozzie Bear: I saw a few tapping their toes.

    Scooter: Yeah, those were paid dancers.

    Fozzie Bear: Oh.

    Miss Piggy: Or, maybe since we're all here, now could be the perfect time for you and me to tie the knot, Kermie.

    Kermit: [stammering] Well... I mean, maybe I could-...

    Walter: Hey, what's the camera still doing here?

    Statler: Oh no, disaster! That can only mean one thing!

    Waldorf: Doggone it, you're right.

    Statler: Mm-hmm.

    Waldorf: It looks like they've ordered a sequel.

    StatlerWaldorf: Doh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

  • Baby Kermit: [Muppet Babies, singing] She's gonna be a movie star. And she's gonna learn to drive a car; she's gonna be a vet'rinarian, too.

    [to Kermit]

    Miss Piggy: And I'm gonna always love you-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh!

    Fozzie Bear: Well, she's gonna be a singer, whoa-whoa-whoa!

    Scooter: And she's gonna learn to fly a plane!

    Rowlf: She'll be a doctor of diseases and help you with your sneezes...

    Gonzo: ...and practice neurosurgery on your brain!

  • [On seeing Beth]

    Fozzie Bear: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know this cave was co-ed.

  • [after having Beth snuggle up to him]

    Fozzie Bear: K-k-kermit...

  • Fozzie Bear: Hey, Kermit. Can our friends watch the show from backstage?

    Kermit the Frog: What? No! No, they cannot watch the show from backstage. That's it! That's what's been missing from the show! That's what we need! More frogs and dogs and bears and chickens and... and whatever! You're not gonna watch the show, you're gonna be in the show! Come on, everyone!

  • Rizzo the Rat: [Rizzo walks by with a plate of food] Gangway! Coming through! Hey Watch it, will ya?

    Fozzie Bear: Hey, that waiter's a rat!

    Floyd: I'm glad we got no money, now I got no appetite.

  • Fozzie Bear: So the grizzly bear, he walks out of the room. Well, now, the panda bear is just sitting there, he thinks to himself , "This is odd". And then, what do you know, the phone rings. You know who it is? It's the polar bear, and the polar bear. he says to the panda bear, "I didn't know it was a koala bear!" Get it? "Koala?" Wocka wocka!

  • Kermit: He's one of us. And no matter what happens, no matter what obstacles we face, we NEVER forget one of our own.

    Miss Piggy: I love it when you take charge.

    Fozzie Bear: Hey! We left Bunsen and Beaker back at the gas station.

    Kermit: Okay... Well, uh, from THIS point on , no matter what happens, we never forget one of our own.

  • Kermit: Okay, guys. We've got to get through those doors.

    Fozzie Bear: Should we just ask permission from those nice men with the rifles?

  • Fozzie Bear: I have to go to the little bear's room.

Browse more character quotes from The Muppets (2011)