Four Leaf Tayback Quotes in Tropic Thunder (2008)

[Cody and Tayback are tied to a post in the Flaming Dragon compound]

Cody: Dude, dude, what the hell is going on here? Where are we?

Four Leaf Tayback: I have no idea, I've never been outside the states.

Cody: Wait what? Are you fucking kidding me? Did you make this whole goddamn thing up? Dude you weren't even in the fucking service?

Four Leaf Tayback: Yes! Of course! Coast Guard!

Cody: Coast Guard.

Four Leaf Tayback: Sanitation Department.

Cody: Oh my god! You're a fucking garbage man! Dammit! F.L. Tayback lies to me and the whole U.S. of A.!

Four Leaf Tayback: I wrote the book as a tribute! I'm a patriot!

Cody: Yeah, you're the Milli Vanilli of patriots, okay? You lied about fighting in the Vietnam War. It's like - it's like punching the American Flag in the face goddammit! God, to think I believed you!

Four Leaf Tayback: Writers lie all the time!

Cody: [a guard bursts in] Can I be tied to another post please?

Four Leaf Tayback: Spanking a child turns him into a snot. Fear, that's what makes him a man. I know a place where a man's worth is measured by the ears hanging off his dog tags. The real hardcore shit! You wanna make this movie right? That's where you take your pansy ass actors.

Les Grossman: [beat] Who is this guy?

Studio Executive Rob Slolom: Les, that's Four Leaf.

Four Leaf Tayback: Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback. I wrote the book.

Les Grossman: Wow. You're a great American. This nation owes you a huge debt. Now shut the fuck up and let me do my job!

Alpa Chino: [Cody and Four-Leaf are tied to a post] What're you guys doing here?

Cody: He has hands!

Four Leaf Tayback: He killed Damien!

Cody: Bullshit!

Four Leaf Tayback: He blinded Jamie Lee Curtis!

Cody: Almost!

Alpa Chino: What're you talking about? Damien stepped on an old land mine.

Cody: Oh, sweet, thank God!

[opening line]

Four Leaf Tayback: In the Winter of 1969, an elite force of the US Army was sent on a top secret assignment in Southeast Vietnam. The objective: rescue Sgt. Four Leaf Tayback from a heavily guarded NVA Prison Camp. The mission was considered to be near-suicide. Of the ten men sent, four returned. Of those four, three wrote books about what happened. Of those three, two were published. And of those two, only one got a movie deal. This is the story of the men who attempted to make that movie.

Special Effects Assistant: They're bustin' caps like a muthafucka down there.

[pause]

Special Effects Assistant: This is F.U.B.A.R. I say we juice 'em, what do you think?

Four Leaf Tayback: Juice 'em.

Special Effects Assistant: [triggers the C4] Big ass titties!

Tugg Speedman: You tell the world what happened here.

Kirk Lazarus: What happened here?

Tugg Speedman: I don't know, but you need to tell them.

[Tugg turns around and walks back over the bridge]

Jeff Portnoy: Where is he going? We're gonna fucking die!

Four Leaf Tayback: Laz, come on! He joined the circus. Let's go!

Kirk Lazarus: You've got hands? Fuck, you've got hands?