Foster Quotes in Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

Foster: I'll see you tomorrow, asshole.

[Foster and Mac have pulled a man over for speeding and are deciding what game to play]

Mac: All right, how about "Cat Game?"

Foster: Cat Game? What's the record?

Mac: Thorny did six, but I think you can do ten.

Foster: Ten? Starting right 'meow?'

[Mac laughs - they walk up to the car, and Foster taps on the driver side]

Larry Johnson: Sorry about the...

Foster: All right meow. (1) Hand over your license and registration.

[the man hands him his license]

Foster: Your registration? Hurry up meow. (2)

[Mac ticks off two fingers]

Larry Johnson: Sorry.

[the man laughs a little]

Foster: Is there something funny here boy?

Larry Johnson: Oh, no.

Foster: Then why you laughing, Mister... Larry Johnson?

[pause]

Foster: All right meow, (3) where were we?

Larry Johnson: Excuse me, are you saying meow?

Foster: Am I saying meow?

[Mac puts his hands up for the fourth one, but makes an "eehhh" facial expression, as he is considering the last one]

Larry Johnson: I thought...

Foster: Don't think boy. Meow, (4) do you know how fast you were going?

[man laughs]

Foster: Meow. (5) What is so damn funny?

Larry Johnson: I could have sworn you said meow.

Foster: Do I look like a cat to you, boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree?

[Mac is gut-busting laughing]

Foster: Am I drinking milk from a saucer?

[feigned anger]

Foster: Do you see me eating mice?

Foster: [Mac and the man are laughing their heads off now] You stop laughing right meow! (6)

Larry Johnson: [the man stops and swallows hard] Yes sir.

Foster: Meow, (7) I'm gonna have to give you a ticket on this one. No buts meow. (8) It's the law.

[rips off the ticket and hands it to the man]

Foster: Not so funny meow, (9) is it?

Foster: [Foster gets up to leave, but Mac shakes his hands at him, indicating only nine meows] Meow! (10)

Mac: But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun!

Thorny: [referring to Farva] Yeah, and his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

Foster: [after a pause] Which... makes them not really shenanigans at all.

Mac: [in a silly voice] Evil shenanigans!

[Mac gets shot in the crotch while wearing the steel cup ]

Foster: How you feelin' there, Mac?

Mac: Good enough... to fuck... your mother.

Thorny: Where are your shoes?

Foster: What are you, the shoe police?

Thorny: I am, and you owe me 20 laps around the bar.

Foster: Black magic only works on the rookie.

Thorny: That's brown magic.

Foster: Do I look like a cat to you boy? Am I jumpin' around all nimbly bimbly from tree to tree? Am I drinking milk from a saucer? DO YOU SEE ME EATING MICE?

Foster: Okie silly dilly dokie-o. I'm an idiot.

Mac: That's true.

[Ursula meets Foster at a restaurant. Ursula is dressed as a biker, Foster is dressed as a cyclist]

Foster: Ah, biker. I'm such an idiot.

Foster: [explaining his low number of citations issued] I can't make them speed.

Captain O'Hagan: Try hiding.

Ursula: [talking into voice filter] Freeze motherfucker.

Foster: Oh, god, please don't shoot me. I'm naked.

Ursula: Drop your coat and grab your toes.

Foster: What?

Ursula: I'm gonna show you where the wild goos goes.

Foster: Uh, this isn't happening. I'm a police officer. Ursula, help.

Ursula: Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread.

[Foster turns, sees Ursula is "holding him up"]

Ursula: [still talking into the voice filter] You don't have these at your station?

Foster: [grabs the voice filtrator, and speaks into it] I don't suppose you have a fresh pair of underwear I can borrow?

Ursula: I'm not sure you could fit into my panties.

Ursula: You're not going to tell anybody about this?

Foster: I already told my mom.

Officer Smy: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd take you down a peg or two.

[to Foster]

Officer Smy: Hey douche bag.

Foster: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd massage your feet 'til you fell asleep.

Ursula: Nice try.

Foster: We could be like Cagney and Lacey.

Ursula: Right. Except Cagney and Lacey were both women.

[beat]

Foster: I could be Lacey.

Foster: You crapped on my heart.

Foster: [Drunk] Hey, so, Ursula, what's uh, what's goin' on?

Ursula: Don't use that boyfriend voice with me.

Foster: Ain't so funny meow is it?

Captain O'Hagan: What's the significance of this John Chimpo fella?

Foster: You know those really cheap Japanese cartoons? No? This is basically a cheaper, Afgahni knockoff. It's this monkey that basically travels around the world, doing nasty things. His butler tries to keep him in line, but, uh... no.

Rabbit: It's really funny, Cap. It's Afghanistanimation!

Captain O'Hagan: The monkey has a butler? Great. Is that what they do in Arabia, Thorny?

Thorny: How the hell should I know?

Foster: [to telephone operator] I want to speak to Ma!

Jeff Blue: [disguised as a newspaper reporter waits in the lobby]

Foster: You here to see me?

Jeff Blue: [stands to greet Foster] Ah yes! Mr. Foster! I'm Hidley Johnson, I'm with the Chicago Herald? I'm doing a story on the theft of defense secrets.

Foster: [gets nervous and fidgety] Ah! I'm Sorry! I have absoubtly no comment to make on this matter!

Jeff Blue: Really?

Foster: Mm Hmm!

Jeff Blue: Well, hows about a nice big *photo* of yourself?

[He quickly snaps a bunch of pictures with his camera]

Foster: Oh God!

[tries to cover up his face with his hands]

Foster: I think you should leave Sir! Right Now!

Jeff Blue: [smirks and leaves]

Foster: [goes into the recording room] Bring up the recording, the one from reception!

[nervously sighs]

Foster: [the operator pulls up the tape and rewinds it so the camera has captured Jeff Blue's face smiling at the camera] Stop it right there!

[Foster presses a button on the control panel to print a screen capture. He nervously picks up the telephone and dials]

Foster: Mr. Ferd... Ferderber please? Yeah, I'll wait. Uh. Yeah.

[He picks up the printout]

Foster: Oh God!

Foster: Ah well, it's only over. And there'll be nothing can we call our own but death. That small model of the barren earth which serves as paste and cover to our bones. For God's sake, let us sit upon the ground and tell sad stories of the death of kings.

Foster: [speaking to Farrington] Dallas has one of the highest murder rates in the country. In the last two years, the Secret Service has established 149 threats against Kennedy's life from Texas alone, yet they send him into hostile territory with no more protection than you and I would arrange for a favorite dog.

Henry: Look at her, Foster, isn't she amazing?

Foster: Yea, I mean if you consider tight sweaters and wet lips amazing...she's pretty amazing.

Foster: That's not bad, for a dead guy.

Foster: Is she wearing that little harem thing, 'cause if she is I'm gonna have to think about it.

Foster: I learned a long time ago that people who peak in high school don't have anywhere to go.

Foster: Sue, it ain't natural to be in a place without a disco.