Ford Quotes in Edge of Tomorrow (2014)

Ford: [to Sargent Cage] Hey, you better watch your back out there... Sir.

Nance: Cuz no one else will.

Janek: What is the atmosphere?

Ravel: Atmosphere is 71 percent nitrogen, 21 percent oxygen, traces of argon gas.

Janek: Whoa, now, that's weather.

Charlie Holloway: Just like home.

Ford: Only if you're breathing through an exhaust pipe. CO2 is over 3 percent. Two minutes without a suit, you're dead.

Arthur: Normality? We can talk about normality until the cows come home.

Ford: What is normal?

Trillian: What is home?

Zaphod: What're cows?

Arthur: Ford?

Ford: Yeah?

Arthur: I think I'm a sofa...

Ford: [pause] I know how you feel...

Ford: If you want to survive out here, you've got to know where your towel is.

Ford: You're looking for the Ultimate Question.

Zaphod: Yep.

Ford: You.

Zaphod: Me.

Ford: Why?

Zaphod: No, I tried that: Why? 42. Doesn't work.

Ford: [after being thrown into the airlock by a guard] Wash your filthy hands!

[looks around]

Ford: Don't panic... don't panic...

Arthur: So this is it. We're gonna die.

Ford: Yeah. We're gonna die.

[pauses]

Ford: No... no! What's this?

[goes over to control panel]

Arthur: What's that?

Ford: What's this...? What's this...?

[flips switch]

Ford: This... is... nothing. Yeah, we're gonna die.

Arthur: Let's go somewhere.

Trillian: Definitely. Where'd you have in mind?

Ford: I know this great restaurant at the end of the universe.

Ford: I checked The Guide for the best way to rescue a prisoner from Vogsphere, it said "don't".

Ford: You don't remember. Arthur, your whole planet has been destroyed.

Arthur: Couldn't you have done something?

Ford: I saved your life.

Barman: Did you say the world is coming to an end? Shouldn't we all lie on the floor or put paper bags over our heads?

Ford: If you like.

Barman: Will it help?

Ford: Not at all.

[Ford runs out of the pub]

Barman: Last orders, please!

Ford: Time is an illusion. Lunchtime, doubly so.

Ford: We must talk.

Arthur Dent: Not now, Ford. They're gonna demolish my home.

Ford: Whoah! Whoah! Whoah! You know already?

[Arthur doesn't understand. Ford looks at the workers around him]

Ford: Oh, *they*! When you say "they" you mean *they*!

Ford: [distracting the men about to demolish Arthur's house] Workers of the earth! I bring... good tidings of peanuts! And beer!

Ford: Didn't you think it was strange I was trying to shake hands with a car?

Arthur: I assumed you were drunk.

Ford: I thought cars were the dominant lifeform. I was trying to introduce myself.

Ford: [as they are about to be shot into space, he dabs Arthur's face with a towel] You're sweating.

Ford: Okay, don't think. Nobody think. No ideas. No theories. No nothing.

[a beat. They all strain to think of nothing. Several paddles shoot up out of the ground smacking them in their faces]

Ford, Arthur, Zaphod: Ow!

Ford, Zaphod: Belgium.

Ford: That's awkward.

Arthur Dent: It's a big-biggy Ford, a big-biggy! I mean what if it rips us all into tiny little atomic particle things?

Zaphod: This is the right one! I have a hunch!

Ford: [smiling] His hunches are good! Arthur! I say we go!

Arthur Dent: Go with a hunch of a man who's brain is fueled by lemons?

Arthur: So this is it. We're going to die

Ford: Yes. Would you like a hug?

Arthur: No.

Ford: [talking about Zaphod] He's my semi half brother.

Zaphod: He shares three of the same mothers as me.

Ford: What's with the whole two-head thing?

Zaphod: Oh, yeah, apparently you can't be president with a whole brain.

Zaphod: This is it. I have a hunch.

Ford: His hunches are good.

Lunkwill: Drink up.

Arthur: Thank you.

Fook: Now, to business.

Ford, Zaphod: [drunkenly toasting] To business!

Lunkwill, Fook: Eat!

Zaphod: [quietly] Sorry.

Zaphod: He's a guest on my ship! He's a guest on my shiiiip!

Ford: I thought you said you stole it.

Ford: [watching the Magrathean recording of Deep Thought] Is that it?

Zaphod: No, there's more. They go back.

Arthur: What, seven and a half million years later?

Zaphod: Yeah, they do.

[Cuts to 7.5 million years later and the answer being received]

Ford: [about Vogons] They don't think, they don't imagine, most of them can't even spell, they just run things. And if we don't hitch a ride soon, you won't need the guide to tell you just how unpleasant they can be. They already destroyed a planet today, and that always makes them a little... eeee!

Zaphod: He did say the gray building, right?

Ford: All the buildings are gray.

Eddie the Computer: Engaging Infinite Improbability Drive...

Ford: No, no, no... Zaphod, buttons aren't toys! What did you do?

Jeltz: Either die in the vacuum of space, or tell me what you thought of my poem.

[other Vogons chuckle]

Arthur: A... a... actually, I rather liked it.

Jeltz: Hmm?

Ford: Yeah. That's good. Run with it.

Jeltz: Hmmm?

Arthur: Uh, some of the words I didn't understand, but I found the imagery quite effective.

Jeltz: Continue...

Arthur: Well, uh, yes, interesting rhythmic devices, which seemed to counterpoint the underlying metaphor of the humanity of, of the poet's soul.

Jeltz: So what you're saying is, I write poetry because underneath this mean, callous, heartless exterior, I just want to be loved?

Ford: [whispers] Yes, yes, yes.

Arthur: Yes, yes, yeah, please.

[other Vogons ooh-ing and aah-ing]

Jeltz: Throw them off the ship!

Ford: I believe Tibeats is skulkin' about the premises somewhere. He wants you dead, and he will attempt to have you so. It's no longer safe for you here. And I don't believe you will remain passive if Tibeats attacks. I have transferred my debt to Edwin Epps. He will take charge of you.

Solomon Northup: Master Ford, you must know; I am not a slave.

Ford: I cannot hear that.

Solomon Northup: Before I came to you I was a free man.

Ford: I am trying to save your life! And... I have a debt to be mindful of. That, now, is to Edwin Epps. He is a hard man. Prides himself on being a "nigger breaker." But truthfully I could find no others who would have you. You've made a reputation of yourself. Whatever your circumstances, you are an exceptional nigger, Platt. I fear no good will come of it.

Ford: [Ford is attempting to buy Eliza, who begs to allow her daughter to come too. Her son having just been sold] How much for the little girl? You have no need for her. One so young will bring you no profit.

Freeman: I will not sell the girl. There's heaps 'n piles of money to be made off her. She is a beauty. One of the regular bloods. None of your thick-lipped, bullet headed, cotton picking niggers.

Ford: Her child, man. For God's sake, are you not sentimental in the least?

Freeman: My sentimentality stretches the length of a coin. Do you want the lot, Mr. Ford, or do you pass on them all?

Ford: I will take the ones Platt and Eliza.

Ford: What is the price for the ones Platt and Eliza?

Freeman: A thousand for Platt; he is a nigger of talent. Seven hundred for Eliza. My fairest price.

Ford: You will accept a note?

Freeman: Always from you, Mr. Ford.

[Ford is trying to convince Vera to sleep with the Count for money]

Ford: I'm a mentor. I'm not a hustler. I'm a conduit, I'm a circuit. Listen... Listen to me very carefully. My whole mission on this planet right now in relation to you is to introduce you to yourself. You know that. You're a deeply sexual human being. You have major erotic power. The easiest thing, and the most selfish, would be to convince you to lend yourself to one person, even if that one person was myself. That would be suffocating to you, and ignoble of me. That's what a hustler would do, and I refuse to hustle. I'm looking to lead you down the path of Ovid and Sappho, D.H. Lawrence, Edna Saint Vincent Millay, to say nothing of the whole hip-hop revolution. It's the path of the Bible: "Seek and you shall find. Know thyself". You're so ready right now to open yourself to discover your capacity for multiple men; multiple in the sense of at least a few. Maybe not at the same time, but sequentially. And - I know I'm getting ahead of myself here and you might not want to hear this because you're at least a year away from being there - but at some point you gonna be ready to explore women. And enjoy them. They already desire you all the time; you're just oblivious to it. But that's down the road, let's stick to the present for now: all that I'm asking is that you meet the Count...

Vera: [interrupting him] Set it up.

Ford: [not believing his ears] Really?

[first lines]

Ford: [on his cellphone] Yeah, but is it lucrative? Yeah, you gotta consider... You gotta always consider the cost-path ratio. Ask Yuri. Hold on a second... Hello?... Yo, wassup?

Ford: What's the point of being a carnivore if all we can eat is rabbit food?

Ford: [after Neon tries to talk to Nova] Don't bother. She's retarded.

[Dakota throws a book at Ford's head]

Ford: Ow! You bitch! That hurt! Jesus.

Dakota: Nova is not retarded. She just doesn't speak to anyone.

Ford: That's retarded.

[Dakota picks up another book]

Max: Five against fourteen. That's not good.

Ford: No shit, Sherlock!

Ford: I don't want to be chopped into pieces by two-bit ass clowns.

Neon: I didn't tell you guys everything.

Ford: Well, tell us now.

Neon: Look, the real reason that my boyfriend and I are here is we were running.

Ford: From what?

Neon: From them. They're Rovers.

Ford: What's a Rover?

Neon: They're cannibals. They eat people for food.

Ford: What are you talking about?

Neon: They killed my family. They killed my friends. They... they ate them.