Football Team Quotes in American Wedding (2003)

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Football Team Quotes:

  • Jim: Alright, Stifler. Um, this... this is a little, uh, difficult to explain. Look, you're... you're okay. You're okay. I... I... I mean, uh... I mean, I like you.

    Steve Stifler: Yeah, great. You can blow me after practice. I'm working, dude.

    Jim: Well, dude.

    Steve Stifler: [Jim and Stifler are both on the tackling sled] Come on. Work it! Hustle!

    Jim: See my mom didn't know that there was a misunderstanding.

    Steve Stifler: Push it! Move it! Come on!

    Jim: You're not invited!

    Steve Stifler: Hold!

    [Jim and Stifler jump off the sled]

    Steve Stifler: Dude, how the hell do you even think you're getting married? I've been looking out for your sex life since high school.

    Jim: You what?

    Steve Stifler: Ohhhh! Ohh! The first tits this guy ever saw were because of me. The first girl he ever hooked up with was at my party at my cottage. That girl is the girl he's marrying. The Stif-man showed him the way. Can I get a 'Hallelujah'?

    Football Team: Hallelujah, Stifler!

    Steve Stifler: But, my fuckers, this mofo right here does not want the Stifmeister, the grand fucking facilitator to attend the wedding. Who sucks donkey dick?

    Football Team: [chanting] Jim sucks donkey dick!

    Jim: The answer is no. Okay? I'm sorry!

    Steve Stifler: I can dance.

    Jim: What?

    Steve Stifler: I can dance.

Browse more character quotes from American Wedding (2003)

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