Florinda Quotes in Zorro: The Gay Blade (1981)

Florinda: Why didn't I marry you instead of Esteban?

Don Diego: Probably because he asked you and I did not.

Florinda: What do the people need roads for? They never go anywhere.

Florinda: [hiding in a box, where Esteban's angry sword thrust has just narrowly missed skewering her breasts] Thank goodness for small favors!

Florinda: [regarding Esteban] Do you know he only makes love to me 12 times a year?

Don Diego: Well, once a month is not so bad.

Florinda: No, he makes love to me 12 times in one night and then, zip, nothing!

Don Diego: Tell me, on that one night, does he eat anything special? Oysters? Raw eggs?

Florinda: Garlic. A lot of garlic.

Don Fernando from San Diego: He wears his clothes well. I could never get into his pants.

Florinda: I bet I could.

Esteban: [Referring to their annual lovemaking] Do you know that little thing we do one night every year?

Florinda: [Eagerly] Yes! Oh, yes!

Esteban: We still have three months to go!

Florinda: You beast!

Baker: As the Prince anxiously waited, the stepmother took matters, and Florinda's foot, into her own hands.

Florinda: Careful, my toe!

Stepmother: Darling, I know!

Florinda: What will we do?

Stepmother: It'll have to go/but when you're his bride/you can sit or ride/you'll never need to walk!

[cuts off Florinda's toe and Florinda screams in pain]

Baker: Minus one toe, Florinda mounted the Prince's horse, unaware of the blood dripping from the slipper. Lucinda was next...

Lucinda: Why won't it fit?

Stepmother: Darling, be still/cut off a bit of the heel and it will/and when you're his wife/you'll have such a life/you'll never need to walk!

[cuts of Lucinda's heel and Lucinda screams in pain]

Baker: Minus a heel, Lucinda did her best to swallow the pain.

Stepmother: It's a perfect fit your highness!

[Lucinda faints]