ffolkes Quotes in ffolkes (1980)

Admiral Brindsen: I suppose you're one of those fellows who does the Times crossword puzzle in ten minutes.

ffolkes: I have *never* taken ten minutes.

Lou Kramer: I don't like you, Flag,

ffolkes: How fortunate.

Lou Kramer: My instinct tells me you're bad news. Did you search him, Webb?

Art Webb: I could tell you the size of his underwear.

Lord Privy Seal Dennis Tipping: You really don't like women much, do you?

ffolkes: I do not. You see, I, together with my five elder sisters, was raised by a maiden aunt. Both my parents died tragically in childbirth. Until the age of ten, I was forced to wear my sister's hand-me-downs. Then when I married, I discovered to my horror that my wife also had five sisters, all unmarried, and all expecting my support. I find cats a far superior breed. Just on the off chance, I have made a will. I've left everything to my cats. I want it testified that I am sound of body and mind. Well go on!

ffolkes: A wet suit in vermilion. Just what one needs at night.

ffolkes: Jennifer? ffolkes here. You can tell the Lord Privy Seal the operation had been completed. As planned, naturally.

ffolkes: [to one of his frogmen] Do that again, Harris, and I'll have your balls for breakfast!

ffolkes: There are over 600 people relying on us to save their lives...

[Turns and berates one of his men]

ffolkes: And you sir, you whacked that ladder as though it's a dinner gong! Do it again and I'll have your balls for breakfast!

ffolkes: Timing underwater. Speed Underwater. That is what half our assignments are about. Harris! Are you listening to me?

Harris: Yes sir.

ffolkes: Then bloody well well look at me! Yesterday, ONE man completed the exercise precisely on time. ME!

[Produces a hand grenade from his bag]

ffolkes: Today, you will ALL complete the exercise precisely on time...

Fletcher: Work out what can be done if one of them is hijacked.

ffolkes: Don't the armed forces have some ideas in that department?

Fletcher: Undoubtedly. But an oil production platform isn't a building or an aeroplane. It's miles out to sea and you can't approach it without being seen or heard unless you come from below.

ffolkes: Only a man of superior intellect is likely to think of a satisfactory way of hijacking a platform or a rig.

Fletcher: Exactly.

ffolkes: Therefore, I must put myself in his position and devide a means of doing so. And having done that, I simply work out how to overpower myself!

Captain Phillips: I was telling the Admiral your men are so well drilled they'll be able to find their way around Esther with their eyes shut.

ffolkes: If any one of my men moves round anything with his eyes shut I shall personally gouge them out! It's time for a drink.

Admiral Brindsen: Bit early isn't it?

ffolkes: It's four hours since breakfast. That's late!

ffolkes: We drink Scotch here the way it should be drunk - neat!

ffolkes: I didn't know they had women on these things.

Sarah: Yes, things are getting better in that way.

ffolkes: A gigantic step backwards!

[Sanna just knocked out a bad guy who was going to shoot ffolkes]

ffolkes: Thanks, boy.

Sanna: Girl.

ffolkes: You look like a boy. You act like a boy.

Sanna: Okay! I'm a boy.

ffolkes: [ffolkes only has a ten pound to note to pay his cab fare] I'll toss you for it.

[Tosses coin]

ffolkes: Heads or tails?

Cab Driver: [Wearily, expecting to be conned] Heads.

ffolkes: Heads it is. Must be your lucky day.

[Hands ten pounds to driver]

ffolkes: Where's Harris?

Team Member: Someone threw him over the side!

Harris: How are we doing, sir?

ffolkes: Like plowmen at a bloody knitting convention.

Harris: We're improving, then.

ffolkes: This is a copy of my Will, I need your signature to prove I'm of sound mind, I'm leaving everything to my cats. Well go on, sign it, man!

ffolkes: I like cats, and I don't like people who don't.