Fern Quotes in Charlotte's Web (2006)


Fern Quotes:

  • Mr. Arable: [Mr. Arable looks at pigs, finds a runt, a picks up ax]

    Fern: What are you doing?

    Mr. Arable: Nothing, now go back to bed.

    Fern: You're not going to kill it, are you?

    Mr. Arable: It's a runt.

  • Mrs. Arable: [Fern was about to be on her way to Wilbur] Fern, you are not going to see that pig again. It's too late.

    Fern: But he's expecting me.

    Mrs. Arable: And I'm expecting you to finish your homework and go straight to bed.

    Fern: But, mom, I always tell him good night.

    Mrs. Arable: Not tonight.

    Fern: He can't sleep if I don't.

  • Mr. Arable: Fern, I'm really sorry, honey, but it's been long enough.

    Fern: What?

    Mr. Arable: Look, he's not a baby anymore. I can't have you keeping what will soon be a 300-pound pet around the house.

    Fern: No. Can't he stay in the barn? Please, dad?

    Mr. Arable: No.

    Fern: Please?

    Mr. Arable: No. Fern, look. You know I've been selling the animals to get the new harvesting equipment. Pretty soon, there's gonna be no place in the barn for a pig.

    Fern: I promised I'd take care of him.

    Mr. Arable: No. I'm letting you out of your promise.

    Fern: I didn't promise you. I promised Wilbur.

  • Julie: It's just weird how time erases things.

    Fern: Time doesn't erase things, people erase things.

    Julie: Yeah, people erase people.

  • Courtney: I taught you to disrespect us?

    Fern: You taught me to rule.

    Courtney: That's right! Rule, bitch! But don't forget who made you!

  • Courtney: You knew Liz Purr right?

    Fern: I-I know of her

    Courtney: "Knew" of her, past tense. She's dead Fern, she died. But we've got a bit of a problem because you know we did it. You heard us. That gives you a little something Fern, and it's called power. The power to tell, and you're the kind of girl that tells. A tattle-tale.

    Marcie: A rat.

  • Fern: The one in the green is Courtney. She was like Satan in heels.

  • Fern: She's so evil... and she's only in high school!

  • Miss Sherwood: Do you know a senior named Elizabeth Purr?

    Fern: You mean the meow?

    Miss Sherwood: Excuse me?

    Fern: Liz is the cat's meow.

    Miss Sherwood: ...I'm sure she is.

  • Ernie: I think we better pull over, 'cause we need some gas soon.

    Tommy Spinelli: Keep fucking driving.

    Fern: Didn't I tell you to watch your fucking language?

  • Tommy Spinelli: Where's Charlie?

    Fern: Who are you?

    Tommy Spinelli: I asked you a question, where the fuck is Charlie?

    Fern: And I asked you a question, who the *fuck* are you?

  • Annette: [goes to back of van to lie down and sees head] Oh my God! AAH! AHH! Another head! Oh my God! Help! Help!

    Tommy Spinelli: Lady, lady, shut up!

    Annette: I can't stand it! I'm losing my mind! Everywhere I look, there are heads! AAAAA!

    Tommy Spinelli: Shut up lady, Jesus Christ! You're not the only person on the planet with problems, OK? Shut it! Jesus, what a head case.

    Fern: Is that supposed to be a JOKE? Killer humor?

    Annette: Looked like this guy I dated in high school, this Hugo... Hugo Porto. Eww.

    [Head was actually the head of Hugo Porto]

  • Tommy Spinelli: I thought I told that little son of a bitch to stay put!

    Fern: So who are you? God? Why the hell should he listen to you?

  • Laurie: Nana, they tortured him.

    Fern: So what? A little castor oil down his gullet.

    Annette: Uh!

    Fern: A little electricity on his dillywhacker.

    Annette: Uh!

    Fern: Cat piss.

  • [Family dinner, with Lorena and daughter as guests]

    Heidi: [to her mother, Fern] Why are you apologizing to her? She's an unwed mother.

    Fern: Well, better an unwed mother than just plain unwed.

  • Heidi: [about Michael going in jail] Serves him right. I hope you rot there, fucking loser.

    Fern: Heidi! That loser was almost your husband!

    Heidi: Why can't you get it into your head he's a psychopath?

    Fern: I'm *sure* he is. But he's also a very successful accountant.

  • Fern: Are you Jewish?

    Lorena: No, I'm Italian.

    Fern: Same thing.

  • Fern: You know Lou, when you have kids to raise, you yell.

  • Heidi: I wanted to sing. And you made me feel like a fool.

    Fern: Honey, it's not my fault if you felt like a fool. I *always* supported you. I only wanted you to be more realistic.

Browse more character quotes from Charlotte's Web (2006)