Ferdy the Fence Quotes in Stardust (2007)

[Shakespeare and his men are selling collected lightning bolts to Ferdy, their fence]

Captain Shakespeare: So! Name your best price.

Ferdy the Fence: For 10,000 bolts?

Captain Shakespeare: 10,000 bolts of finest quality Grade A.

Ferdy the Fence: Yeah, but it's difficult to shift, isn't it? Difficult to store. If I get the revenue man in here sniffing around. Uhmmm... Best price: 150 Guineas.

Captain Shakespeare: [to his crew] Gentlemen, put the merchandise back on board and prepare to sail.

Ferdy the Fence: Whoa, whoa! Hold on. Hold on. One minute, Cuddles. 160? 160.

Captain Shakespeare: Seeing as I'm feeling particularly generous today, I'll settle for 200.

Ferdy the Fence: 200? Okay, you're having a laugh.

[Ferdy laughs]

Ferdy the Fence: Have you had your head in that? Has he been staying up where the air's too thin?

Captain Shakespeare: [darkly] You're being very rude.

Ferdy the Fence: Not any more.

Captain Shakespeare: 200.

Ferdy the Fence: 180.

Captain Shakespeare: 200.

Ferdy the Fence: That's not negotiation! I'm changing my number! 185.

Captain Shakespeare: Did I hear 200?

Ferdy the Fence: From you, you did. Yeah.

Captain Shakespeare: You said 200?

Ferdy the Fence: If I did, you're a ventriloquist. Okay, 195. Final offer.

Captain Shakespeare: 195 it is.

[they shake hands to seal the deal]

Captain Shakespeare: So, with sales tax, that's... let's see... 200.

Ferdy the Fence: [resignedly] Brilliant. Put it in the back.

Lamia: You'd better be telling the truth, you two-faced dog.

Ferdy the Fence: I can get you one of them, actually. Very good guard dogs. They can watch the back and the front door at the same time.