Fender Quotes in Robots (2005)

Fender: You consider me a friend?

Rodney Copperbottom: Sure. What else would I consider you?

Fender: I don't know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against your parents? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.

Madame Gasket: Who are these losers?

Fender: We, sir...

Madame Gasket: I'm a woman.

Crank: Ouch.

Fender: [Scottish accent] We've come to rescue our friend, you evil bag of bolts, and you shall be defeated by the very outmodes that you scorn and detest!

Crank: 'Cause there's seven of us and only one of...

[hundreds of minions appear from behind Madame Gasket]

Fender: Let's see, there's seven of us and... eight? Nine?

Crank: Did you count that one?

Fender: I think so. Will you all quit moving around? It's so frustrating! I think I counted one of you twice!

Crank: [Mr. Copperbottom is playing badly] Well there goes our happy ending.

Fender: Yo, it's a fusion of jazz and funk. It's called junk.

Fender: Oh, it used to be a lot worse. They used to have this giant hammer...

[Rodney screams]

Fender: Hey, they brought it back!

Rodney Copperbottom: Well, then why is she called Aunt Fanny?

Fender: Couldn't call her Aunt Booty.

Rodney Copperbottom: If anything goes wrong, we'll signal each other.

Fender: What kind of signal would you want? You want something kind of subtle, like...

[Whispers gibberish]

Fender: Or...

[Barks loudly like a seal]

Fender: Oh, how about this?

Fender: [Very loudly] Caw-caw! Caw-caw! R-R-R-R-R-Ricola!

Rodney Copperbottom: Subtle.

Fender: Well, good luck in the big city. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere, and if you can't make it here, welcome to the club.

Fender: I know that sounds bad, but I'm just doing musical arm farts. You know how to do those? They're hard to do because we're made of metal, but that's where the skill comes in.

Fender: If I seem to be getting smaller, it's because... I'm leaving!

[runs away with Rodney's foot]

Fender: [to Rodney] You can bunk with me...

[in a campy voice]

Fender: we'll ignore the gossip!

Rodney Copperbottom: Why do you have two noses?

Fender: One's for showin', one's for blowin'.

Fender: Stick with me, kid. I know this town like the back of my hand.

[sees the back of his hand]

Fender: Hey, that's new.

[gets hit by the giant hammer]

Rodney Copperbottom: Hey Fender.

[Rodney does arm farts]

Fender: Yeah Baby, let 'er rip!

[Rodney and Fender are doing arm farts]

Crank: What are you guys, 3 years old? This is how a man does it.

[Crank does arm farts]

Piper: You guys are SO gross! Besides, this is how you do it.

[Piper does arm farts]

Aunt Fanny: Hey kids, get a load of this...

[does BIG farts; Everyone is grossed out]

Piper: Aunt Fanny, we were using our arms!

Crank: Ugh, light a match!

Lamppost: Lady... please... see a doctor...

Lamppost: [the lamppost passes out]

Rodney Copperbottom: This is our moment to shine, to show them what we're made of.

Fender: In my case it's a rare metal called afraidium. It's yellow, tastes like chicken... Buck-ah!

[lays an egg]

Fender: Whoa! Didn't know I could do that!

Fender: Is there anything for me?

Mailbox: Oh, I've got something for you.

[slaps Fender]

Mailbox: That's from my sister!

Fender: I recognize the handwriting.

Fender: [his arms have just fallen off] Oh, no, look at that, now they're arm wrestling.

[the arms are wrestling each other]

Fender: Could you please separate them? Hurry, my back itches.

Rodney Copperbottom: Crank, the idol of millions is gone, and no one seems to care. There should be an angry mob out there.

[angry mob runs past the window]

Fender: [Fender, Rodney and the others go out to investigate the mob] Wow! That was great, psychic friend! Now say, "Money should be falling from the sky."

Aunt Fanny: [pushes Rodney into wall with large backside] Where's your friend, dear?

Fender: He's been rear-ended.

Piper: Fender, get out of my room!

Fender: I'm not in your room. I am now. Now, I'm not. Am. Not. Am. Not...

Piper: [sternly] Get out of my room!

Rodney Copperbottom: But I don't want my picture taken.

Fender: You don't?

Rodney Copperbottom: No.

Fender: That's okay, there's no film in the camera.

Fender: [singing] I'm singing in the oil / I'm singing in the oil / After all that work and toil / I'm just slipping in the oil / I know where I've been sent / I'm covered in lubricant... My life has been turned around. From now on, I'm a winner!

Fender: [Gets captured by the Sweeper] Wait a minute; you can't do this to me! I'm *alive*!

[singing voice]

Fender: Help!

Tim the Gate Guard: [Rodney and Fender are flambouyantly dressed and trying to get into the Bigweld Ball by getting past Tim the Gate Guard] Uh, can I help you?

Fender: I think-a maybe you can. This is the Count Roderick von Broken Zipper. Formerly, Count Velkro! Where are the trumpets? We were promised trumpets to announce the Count's arrival. Beat me until you are happy.

[Rodney slaps him]

Fender: He's happy. And I'm not feeling to bad myself.

Tim the Gate Guard: Uh, you're not on the list.

Fender: What? Once again.

[Rodney slaps him again]

Fender: Fine! We will go! You will explain to your superiors why were not able to attend your little luau! But we are leaving in a huff!

Tim the Gate Guard: No, no! Go right in! In fact, would the Count like to hit me?

Fender: The Count hit you? The arrogance of some people. I shall hit you on his behalf.

[Hits Tim, knocking him to the ground]

Tim the Gate Guard: Thank you, your grace!

Fender: [taking pictures of Rodney] Big eyes! Big eyes! Give me big anime eyes!

Piper: Did I miss the butt wuppin'?

Piper, Crank, Fender, Rodney Copperbottom, Lug, Cappy: [surrounded by menacing machines, everyone freeze, staring and then move again] No.

Crank: Actually, you're a little early.

Fender: C'mon, work with me! Work with me! More pout, less pose. That's OK, inside of you is a fashion model just waiting to throw up.

Fender: [Inside the Sweeper] Open the door! Open the door!

[the door opens on the chop shop]

Fender: Whoa! Close the doors! Close the doors!

Fender: [Fender's head has just detatched from his body] Happy now!

Rodney Copperbottom: Not until you give me back my foot, you mugger!

Fender: I am not a mugger! I happen to beeeeeeeeee...

[Fender's head falls over]

Fender: ...a scrounger!

Fender: [to Rodney] You know, my last roommate jumped out THAT window.

Fender: Oh, no!

Rodney Copperbottom: What?

Fender: We're going off the track! We're going to crash! I don't want to die!

[the sphere they are riding free falls and both scream; then the sphere lands in a catapult]

Fender: [laughing] I was just kidding! Put your head between your legs.

Fender: Inside of you, there's a fashion model just waiting to throw up.

Fender: My name used to be Bumper, but had to change it when we moved into the country.

Fender: You know Rodney, even if you know you had an disgorging day remember. There is another one coming tomorrow! You know my last roommate jumped out that window.

Fender: [while running down a conveyor belt after putting on a new pair of legs, which reveal they have a skirt on them] This is so wrong... this is *so wrong*!

Fender: I tell ya, the things that fall off of me... it's embarrassing!

Fender: [as his body is banging his head on the hardware store counter] I'm hurting me!

Loretta Geargrinder: Thanks for walking me home.

Fender: Thanks for carrying me up that hill!

Rodney Copperbottom: When was the last time you got oiled?

Fender: Yeah, I can't really answer that in front of my kid sister.

Fender: We've told you a hundred times...

[Talks with his hand]

Fender: Don't talk to strange men. Thank you, Manuel.

Piper: I talk to you. Who's stranger than that?

Fender: [takes a picture of Rodney] Perfect! That'll be 50 bucks.

Rodney Copperbottom: For what?

Fender: A beautiful picture of your first moment in Robot City.

[takes another picture]

Fender: There, I've captured your second moment. That's another 50 dollars.

[keeeps on taking photos]

Fender: loving it. Loving looving it

Rodney Copperbottom: I don't want my picture taken?

Fender: You don't

Rodney Copperbottom: No

Fender: That's okay. Theres no film in the camera. Would you like to purchase a map of the stars homes

[realizes he's gone]

Fender: hey where did he go

Aunt Fanny: Oh, what happened to your friend?

Fender: He got rear-ended.

Fender: Hey, guys! The sweepers! They're rounding up all the outmodes! Not them, us! And you'll never guess who's behind it all!

Rodney Copperbottom: Ratchet.

Fender: Go on, guess. Come on, I ran all this way in cha-cha heels! Go ahead, take a stab!

Rodney Copperbottom: Ratchet!

Fender: Ratchet!

Tim the Gate Guard: Can I help you?

Fender: [Spanish accent] I think maybe you can. This is Count Roderick von Brokenzipper. Formerly known as Count Velcro. Where are the trumpets? We were promised trumpets to announce the Count's arrival. So sorry, your Grace. Beat me until you're happy.

[Rodney smacks him]

Fender: He's happy, and I'm not feeling too bad myself.

Fender: While at Robot City, guests of the Rusties - that' us - stay at Aunt Fanny's boarding house, where our motto is: "Beats rustin' outside."

Fender: His father's got one foot in the junkyard, and if they can't find new parts for him, he's only got a few miles left.

Fender: That's him! That's the guy! I would know that face! I know that face, and I know that foot!

[Fender's body is pointing the wrong direction]

Fender: Psst! He's over there, moron!

[Fender's headless body points toward Rodney]

Fender: That's the perpetrator! He knocked my head off!

Fender: [hears Rodney's signal] Oh, my darling! That is the call of the deep doo-doo bird. I must fly!

Rodney Copperbottom: So, what are you guys doing today?

Fender: We're doing it.

Piper: What about you?

Rodney Copperbottom: Mr. Bigweld is missing and you're all just going to sit around and do nothing?

Fender: I think that's already been established.

Loretta Geargrinder: Until tomorrow.

Fender: I'll be counting the seconds. So far I'm up to four.

Fender: Back off, back off! This guys has his own dreams that won't become true!

Fender: I know this town like the back of my hand

[looks at the back of his hand]

Fender: hey thats new

Fender: [shouts] Aunt Fanny... We're home!

Fender: [Lug is holding his head] Why, I'd, I'd smack you if I had a hand.

[his body comes bouncing off buildings]

Fender: Wow, speak of the devil... here I come.

[the body falls on the floor]

Fender: Owww! Daddy!

Bilko: Hello, soldiers.

[they look around]

Bilko: I'm talking to you. Because that's what you are, really, soldiers. Every last one you with a couple of exceptions.

Paparelli: [whispering] He's got a plan.

Fender: [whispering] He sure does.

Bilko: I'm going to tell you a little story. There once was a little boy, and that little boy had a dream to run one of the most sophistocated, illegal gaming operations the United States Army has ever seen.

Zimmerman: [whispering] He's not worried.

Morales: [whispering] Not a bit.

Bilko: And that little boy's dream came true... but now,they're trying to snatch that dream *back* from him.

Zimmerman: [whispering] He's worried.

Morales: [whispering] It's not good.

Bilko: But what are the last two letters in the name Bilko? K-O! Of course the first few letters are B-I-L, which is meaningless. But still, am I giving up? No! Never! Well kind of, but not really, because there is *no way* I'm going to Greenland. Well, you are probably wondering if I have a plan. Well, of course I have a plan! A P-L-A-N - plan!

[spells "PALN" on the chalkboard]

Bilko: But, ha ha ha.

[begins crying]

Paparelli: [whispering] He's got no plan.

Morales: [whispering] We're screwed.

Wally: I have a plan, Sarge.

Bilko: But maybe, a plan is not what I really need. what I really need,

[gets down on knees]

Bilko: is just a little puppy.

[crying and interacting with an imaginary puppy]

Bilko: A little puppy with big brown eyes, who would just come to me and lick my face, and just love me so much no matter what kind of person I am.

Bilko: [to Wally] Any one of these men would take a bullet for you.

Fender: Well, not in the chest!

Wally: You men are soldiers! Guardians of freedom! And frankly I don't think there's a man or woman here who's taken their service oath seriously!

Fender: You know what? I'm gonna kill him.

Bilko: Fender!

[as Fender tries to grab him, Wally uses martial arts skills to twist his arm and flip him over onto the floor]

Bilko: Now, this is the stuff they should be teaching in the Army.

Wally: They are.

Bilko: No kidding?