Father Williams Quotes in A Night at the Roxbury (1998)

Father Williams: Steve, repeat after me.

Steve Butabi: After me.

Father Williams: Tic tac toe in yo' face!

Malcolm: Oh, Father. Thank God you could make it.

Father Williams: Nigger, call me Doug. I don't like being called "Father." No way. Plus, I got a couple issues with a few people out there claiming false child support. I mean, just 'cause the little nigger got my eyes, my nose, my extremely rare AB-negative blood type, don't mean I'm the damn daddy.

Father Williams: Uh, bro, I'm gonna have to level with you. This bitch don't look right. I mean, she look all ashy and shit, and just... You know, like E.T. with a weave. If I was you, I'd just be out. Let's just go. Come on. Let's go.

Malcolm: Uh, I... I can't leave her. That's my girl.

Father Williams: Are you kidding me? Come on, man. There's so much pussy in the world, man. You don't have to be with just her. Come to the congregation. I've got a few in the congregation, I'm trying to tell you.

[Father Williams pulls a photo from his wallet]

Father Williams: Check this out. Now, I know she look old. I know she... But she a freak, and she got skills.

Malcolm: Oh, my God! What did you do?

Father Williams: Shit, I did you a favor.

Malcolm: Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Rosa!

Rosa: I just wanted my last check, Malcolm.

Malcolm: Oh, my God, you shot my housekeeper.

Father Williams: You mean, your ex-housekeeper. Look, man, the bitch can't be jumping out on me like that. You ain't gonna tell nobody, right? I got warrants.

Father Williams: I'm Father Doug. I'm here to unpossess you.

Kisha: Do you know how to connect the cuts?

Father Williams: Uh. Uh. Uh.

Father Williams: Tic tac toe in your face!"

Father Williams: Hey, guys. Gentlemen, what we have here is a crazy bitch. Now, I would leave her possessed ass in the alley downtown if it was me, but apparently, Malcolm's got a thing for the freak.

Father Williams: Man, that breath is kickin. I can only image what the kitty smell like.