Father Bailey Quotes in

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Father Bailey Quotes:

  • Clinton: Is it true nuns are married to God?

    Father Bailey: Yes. Yes, nuns have taken a vow of celibacy.

    Clinton: Didn't YOU?

    Father Bailey: Yes. Yes, I did.

    Clinton: So, are you married to God, too?

    Father Bailey: I think I know where you're going with this, Clifford, and I... I-I'm not gay. And neither's God. Ask Sister Vasquez. Of course, you know, the wife's usually the last one to find out.

  • Adam Dynes: [in the confessional] Father, do you ever wonder what it would be like to have a normal life?

    Father Bailey: If by "normal life" you mean finding my soulmate, falling in love, and she's kind and nurturing and she loves me just as much as I love her, in spite of my flaws, and we get married and have children, and... and I coach my son's baseball team and one day walk my daughter down the aisle - they have kids and so we're grandparents - and then we retire early and I buy one of those huge RV's, like at least a sixty-footer, with satellite TV, and we travel around the whole country together... no, I... I've never thought of that. Besides, I have you kids to take care of. So, what's up?

  • Father Bailey: Okay, perverts, I got it. Get a haircut, kid.

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