Father Quotes in Batman Begins (2005)

[in the Narrows, a boy goes out onto the balcony to escape his parents' arguing; he sees Batman hanging on the side of the building, spying on a nearby one]

Little Boy: It's you, isn't it? Everyone's been talking about you.

Father: [from inside] Get in here!

Mother: [from inside] Don't you yell at him like that!

Little Boy: The other kids won't believe me.

[Batman folds the optic instrument he's been using, and tosses it to the boy]

[to man in restaurant]

Jake: [fakes accent] How much for the little girl? How much for the women?

Father: What?

Jake: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters... sell them to me. Sell me your children!

Father: [trying to get Mr. Fabulous attention] Sir? Sir... sir... SIR!... SIR!

Mr. Fabulous: Yes? How are your salads?

Father: The salads are fine. It's just that we'd like to move to a new table... away from those two gentlemen.

[Mr. Fabulous glances briefly at Jake and Elwood stuffing their faces at the table beside the family]

Mr. Fabulous: Why? Have they been disturbing you?

Father: No, it's just that... well frankly, they're offensive. Smelling. I mean they physically smell... bad.

Betty Ross: All you've given Bruce is fear. Fear of life.

Father: Fear. Perhaps, Miss Ross. And loneliness, too. Yes. I feel them both. But I have lived completely once. I was so much in love. And she so much wanted a baby. My baby. I could tell from the moment she conceived that it wasn't a son I had given her, but something else. A monster, maybe. I should have put a stop to it right then, but I was curious, and that was my downfall. And as I watched this tiny life unfold, I began to imagine the horror of it, and my curiosity was replaced with compassion. But they took away my chance to cure him. Your father threw me out. I remember that day so well. Every moment. Every sensation. Walking into the house. The feeling of the handle of the knife in my hand. I knew I was doing a father's work, fulfilling a father's mercy... but then she surprised me. It was as if she and the knife merged. You cannot imagine the unbearable finality of it. And in that one moment, I took everything that was dear to me and transformed it into nothing more than a memory.

Father: Stop your bawling, you weak little speck of human trash!

Bruce Banner: Don't touch me ! Maybe once you were my father, but you're not now and you never will be.

Father: Oh, is that so ?

Bruce Banner: I should have killed you.

Father: And I should have killed you.

Bruce Banner: I wish you had.

Bruce Banner: Stop it.

Father: Stop ? Stop what ? Stop what ?

Bruce Banner: I' d rather die.

Father: Oh, that's your answer ?

Bruce Banner: Go !

Father: Stop your bawling, you weak little speck of human trash.

Father: All right... I'll go ! You just watch me go !

Ross: Hit it.

Father: Yes !

Father: That's right. Keep fighting. The more you fight, the more of you I take.

Father: Sleep now, Bruce, and forget forever. Struggle no more and give me all of your power.

The Hulk: You think you can live with it ? Take it ! Take it all !

Father: Oh, yes ! Yes ! Take it back ! It's not stopping ! Take it back !

Father: Mankind united with infinitely greater purpose in pursuit of war than he ever did in pursuit of peace.

Father: Prozium - The great nepenthe. Opiate of our masses. Glue of our great society. Salve and salvation, it has delivered us from pathos, from sorrow, the deepest chasms of melancholy and hate. With it, we anesthetize grief, annihilate jealousy, obliterate rage. Those sister impulses towards joy, love, and elation are anesthetized in stride, we accept as fair sacrifice. For we embrace Prozium in its unifying fullness and all that it has done to make us great.

Father: Hello, Mrs. Peel, welcome back to The Ministry. Now we're going to have a talk.

Emma Peel: About the weather, how topical!

Father: It'll help pass the time.

Emma Peel: Time would pass anyway if you think about it logically! But then so few do think logically, or even anti-logically. Clockwise or anti-clockwise, tick-toc, toc-tick, see-saw, Margery Daw. It amounts to the same thing! After all how do you know I'm the real Mrs Peel?

Father: How real do you feel, Mrs. Peel?

Emma Peel: I'll repeat the question, bypassing the weather, which, no doubt, being British, we'll return to in a moment. Do I walk like Mrs Peel, talk like Mrs Peel? Am I witty, wise, wonderful to know? Or, do I go around shooting Ministry agents, attempting to rule the world on my days off?

Father: Now you're just playing games!

Father: No, your grace, I did not know they were topless dancers. Well, they certainly helped raise a lot of money for the church.

Father: So what makes you think you can locate my 4-by-4?

Abraxas: My box has VD, trust me.

Mother: Your what?

Abraxas: VD. Vibrational Detection.

[first lines]

Mother: Car's here.

Father: It's nine o' clock already, we're going to miss our flight.

Father: Cures are the only things worth seeking.

Jesus: Why do you live here?

Father: Because the desert is ruthless. It strips you of your vanities, your illusions and gives you the opportunity to see yourself for who you are.

Father: It's a riddle. I am stronger than 10 men, I'm longer than 10 men, and a boy can carry me. What am I? A rope.

[Kermit is sitting on a bench - a man and his daughter walk by]

Girl: Look, Dad. There's a bear.

Father: No, Christine, that's a frog. Bears wear hats.

Father: He who swims in the Red Sea cannot know its true deep, and not just any man, Theeb, can reach the seabed, my son. In questions of brotherhood, never refuse a guest. Be the right hand of the right when men make their stand. And if the wolves offer friendship, do not count no success; they will not stand beside you when you are facing death.

Mother: Robert! Robert, wait! Now, Uncle Albert will meet you at the station.

Robert: Do you think he'll have model planes? Fighters, like the ones Dad will be flying?

Mother: I'm not sure, dear, but he does have a son called Horace who's about your age. He might.

Father: Cyril, you're in charge now. Children, you're all to listen to Cyril while we're away.

Robert: Why is he in charge? You're not in charge of me!

Cyril: Robert, I am.

Robert: Dad, is there any way I can come with you?

Father: Robert, who is the most important member of any mission?

Robert: You are. The pilot.

Father: No, it's the navigator. A pilot would be lost without one. Your mum and I need you to keep everyone on course.

Robert: You can count on me.

Father: [hands him a compass] So you always know where to find me.

Father: Oh, son, I seen it! Up on the bounds it was, all covered with scales and such, and a tail with a sort of hook on it! Now wait until I catch me breath. It's horrible! That's what it is, horrible!

The Boy: It's only a dragon, father.

Father: Oh... Only a dragon? Oh! The village! Help! There's a dragon a-coming! Help!

The Boy: Don't worry, father. I'll have a look at him.

Father: May the hills echo with your new voice, my son.

Father: [after Sam saves Ella and Billie from a wolf, with Louie's warning] Thank goodness you are safe, my precious daughters. When I think of what could have happened with poor Louie here unable to cry out a warning! But I'm sure you tried your best, son.

Louie: I did try! Can't he see how hard I tried?

Mother: Darling, that human boy, he saved the lives of our children.

Father: He has my eternal gratitude.

Sam: Hey, it was no problem.

[last lines]

Father: Come on guys, get ready!

Laura: What for? Is something wrong?

Father: Oh, we thought perhaps you'd like to go to the countryside this weekend, to see our old house once more.

Laura: [gasps in surprise and delight, but runs to window and looks outside] Oh!

Max: [waves] Hi! Laura!

Laura: Uh, but, Dad, can we choose another weekend to go out in the countryside?

Mother: Why's that, then?

Laura: We've only just got here, Mom. Our new home.

Tommy: Home.

[giggles cheerfully]

Laura: [runs outside as ending theme "Touch the Sky" begins playing] Hey, Max!

Halina: We could hide the money. Look here. We can hide the money under the flower pots.

Father: No, no, no, no, I'll tell you what we do. We use tried and tested methods. You know what we did in the last war? We made a hole in the table leg

[taps the leg]

Father: and hid the money in there.

Henryk Szpilman: And suppose they take the table away?

Father: What do you mean, take the table away?

Henryk Szpilman: The Germans go into Jewish homes and they just take what they want, furniture, valuable, anything.

Mother: Do they?

Father: Idiot, what would they want with a table, a table like this?

[rips a piece of wood off the table]

Mother: What on earth are you doing!

Halina: No, listen. This is the best place for it. No-one would think of looking under the flower pots.

Henryk Szpilman: No, no, no, listen, listen to me, I've been thinking...

Wladyslaw Szpilman: Oh, really? That's a change.

Henryk Szpilman: You know what we do? We use psychology.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: We use *what*?

Henryk Szpilman: We leave the money and the watch on the table, and we cover it like this, in full view.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: [amazed] Are you stupid?

Henryk Szpilman: The Germans will search high and low, I promise you, they'll never notice!

Wladyslaw Szpilman: That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen, of course they'll notice it. Look.

[takes the violin and a bill, folds it and slips it into the opening of the violin]

Wladyslaw Szpilman: Look here... idiot.

Henryk Szpilman: And you call me stupid?

Mother: No, that is very good, because that is the last place they will ever look.

Henryk Szpilman: This will take hours!

Mother: We're not in a hurry, we'll get it back...

Wladyslaw Szpilman: It won't take hours.

Henryk Szpilman: How will you get them out? Tell me that, tell me how, I'd like to know, how would you get them out. You take each one out individually...

Halina: No-one listens to me, no-one.

Wailing Woman: Why did I do it? Why did I do it? Why did I do it?

Halina: She's getting on my nerves. What did she do, for God's sake?

Father: She smothered her baby.

Henryk Szpilman: What's the matter with you all, huh? You lost your sense of humor?

Wladyslaw Szpilman: That's not funny.

Henryk Szpilman: Well, you know what's funny? You're funny, with that ridiculous tie.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: [getting angry] What're you talking about my tie for? What does my tie have to do with anything? I need this tie for my work!

Henryk Szpilman: [mocking] Oh, your work.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: Yes, that's right, I work!

Henryk Szpilman: Yes, yes, your work. Playing the piano for the parasites in the ghetto.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: Parasites...

Henryk Szpilman: Yes, parasites. They don't give a damn about people suffering.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: And you blame me for their apathy, right?

Henryk Szpilman: [accusing] I do, because I see it everyday. They don't even notice what's going on around them.

Father: I blame the Americans.

Wladyslaw Szpilman: [visibly upset] For what, for my tie?

Regina: Quiet please. Quiet. Order, order! Please!

Halina: She's a lawyer, she likes order.

Regina: Listen, just listen. The watch we put under the flower pots and the money we stuff in the violin.

Father: Will I still be able to play?

Wladyslaw Szpilman: Well... you'll find out.

Father: What do you think? Should I, should I take Uncle Szymon's portrait?

Mother: Take it, don't take it, take what you like!

[sigh]

Mother: Can't you see I'm worried sick?

Father: Well, to tell you the truth, I thought it would be worse.

Father: It seems to make me return to the place, poignantly dear to my heart, where my grandfathers house used to be in which i was born 40 years ago right on the dinner table. Each time i try to enter it, something prevents me from doing that. I see this dream again and again. And when i see those walls made of logs and the dark entrence, even in my dream i become aware that I'm only dreaming it. And the overwhelming joy is clouded by anticipation of awakening. At times something happens and i stop dreaming of the house and the pine trees of my childhood around it. Then i get depressed. And i can't wait to see this dream in which ill be a child again and feel happy again because everything will still be ahead, everything will be possible...

[last lines]

Father: Don't laugh at Gavino. Hands on your desks! Today is Gavino's turn. Tomorrow will be yours.

Taj Jonson: Hey! Any of you bums heard of Navin R. Johnson?

Navin R. Johnson: I've heard of him.

Taj Jonson: Born in Mississippi? Inventor of the Opti-grab?

Navin R. Johnson: I was just telling these guys!

Mother: Navin!

Navin R. Johnson: Mommy, Daddy! How did you find me?

Father: We don't know. This is the first place we looked.

[Navin receives some farewell advice]

Mother: And remember: the Lord loves a working man.

Navin R. Johnson: Lord loves a working man.

Father: And Son: don't never ever trust whitey.

Navin R. Johnson: Don't trust whitey. Lord loves a working man; don't trust whitey.

Mother: And I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for...

Navin R. Johnson: I will, Ma... I know it's out there.

Taj Jonson: It's out there alright. And if you catch it, see a doctor and get rid of it.

Navin R. Johnson: See a doctor and get rid of it.

Taj Jonson: Good luck.

Navin R. Johnson: Lord loves a working man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.

Father: [singing] Every sperm is sacred/Every sperm is great/If a sperm is wasted/God gets quite irate.

Father: The mill's closed. There's no more work. We're destitute.

Children: Ohhhhh.

Father: I'm afraid I have no choice but to sell you all for scientific experiments.

Father: There's not a darn thing to be afraid of, pal. How can anything get in your window? It's closed, OK?

[Flubber crashes through the neighbor's window, bounces around and the boy covers himself in a blanket]

Father: Thomas Smith?

Thomas: Here! But I don't know where here is man, 'cause I'm so wasted man!

Father: Thomas, it is a sin to even pretend that you-you-you're baked.

Narrator: Then there were my father and mother, two people who could find an argument in any subject.

Father: Wait, you think the Atlantic is a greater ocean than the Pacific?

Mother: No. Have it your way. The Pacific is greater.

Narrator: I mean, how many people argue over oceans?

Father: [to mother] You're lucky I love you, you old douchebag.

Narrator: [about a therapist's radio show] I found the show silly and always imagined my parents on it airing their standard complaints.

Mother: He's a business failure. He never finishes what he starts. We're forced to live with my relatives and thank God for them. And I should have married Sam Slotkin.

Father: Sam Slotkin's dead.

Mother: Yes, but while he was alive, he was working.

Father: She'd be lost without her whole family around her all the time, and you should see 'em. They're like some kind of tribe. They're like the Huns. Maybe if I had married a more encouraging woman, who knows?

Mother: So who do you think is right?

Mr. Abercrombie: I think you both deserve each other.

Mother: What does that mean?

Father: Look, we didn't come here to be insulted.

Mother: I love him, but what did I do to deserve him?

[Boris and his father speak in Dostoevsky references]

Father: Remember that nice boy next door, Raskolnikov?

Boris: Yeah.

Father: He killed two ladies.

Boris: What a nasty story.

Father: Bobak told it to me. He heard it from one of the Karamazov brothers.

Boris: He must have been possessed.

Father: Well, he was a raw youth.

Boris: Raw youth, he was an idiot!

Father: He acted assaulted and injured.

Boris: I heard he was a gambler.

Father: You know, he could be your double!

Boris: Really, how novel.

Boris: I have no fear of the gallows.

Father: No?

Boris: No. Why should I? They're going to shoot me.

Father: Enough of this swapping of spit! Let's celebrate!

Father: If I were so stupid, I would slap my own face.

Father: Where are you mount Everest? Give me some Everest.

Father: Don't scream. I don't want you to scream. Be a man and quit that moody brooding.

Father: You're going to be a winner; just don't shiver. A winner doesn't shiver.

Father: I don't want a coward in the family.

Father: I don't want this escaping. All this moody brooding; I just don't like that.

Julien: I got a... I got a... I got a poem. Wanna hear?

Pearl: Yeah.

Julien: Okay. Okay, I'll read a poem.

Father: Okay.

Julien: Midnight chaos, eternity chaos, morning chaos, eternity chaos, noon chaos, eternity chaos, evening chaos, midnight chaos, eternity chaos, morning chaos, eternity chaos, noon chaos, evening chaos, eternity chaos, midnight chaos, eternity chaos, morning chaos, eternity chaos, noon chaos, eternity chaos, evening chaos, eternity chaos, midnight chaos, eternity chaos, noon chaos, morning chaos, evening chaos, eternity chaos, midnight chaos, eternity chaos...

Father: [while he keeps rabbling] It's not right. Julien... cut it out.

Julien: Morning chaos, eternity chaos...

Father: You repeat "chaos, chaos, chaos"! It don't even... It doesn't even rhyme.

Julien: It rhymes with chaos.

Julien: Chaos...

Father: Come on. Come on, stop that. That's not a poem.

Julien: Midnight...

Father: Come on, what is that? It doesn't even... It doesn't even rhyme, you repeat "chaos, chaos, chaos" and it doesn't even rhyme.

Julien: Chaos!

Father: How about that...

Julien: Midnight...

Father: Julien...

Julien: Midnight...

Father: Julien, you shouldn't...

Julien: Midni...

Father: No, shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up, I... I don't like it because it's so artsy-fartsy. You see, I like the real stuff. I like something like... the end of Dirty Harry. I saw this Dirty Harry and it... it's really... OH!

Julien: "Oh" what?

Father: There is this TREMENDOUS shoot-out. You should really listen. Just listen. Listen. Just LISTEN. There was this shoot-out... Dirty Harry has this bad guy cornered, I mean, he was a... real, real bad guy. And there's this tremendous shoot-out that, that... really exchanged lots of fire there... shooting bullets at each other and they keep missing. At the end, the bad guy drops his guy and it's just, down there on the... on the bottom. And Harry hovers over him and now Harry, I mean, he's really full of contempt... Harry standing there, he's totally full of contempt, and he... says to him... "There are many other bullets, do you still think there is a bullet left in your gun?" And he says to him "You know. Now you gotta ask yourself a question... Do I feel lucky?" At that moment, the bad guy lounges for his gun, raises it and it just says "click"!

Pearl: Yeah...

Father: He's only got one bullet left and Harry blast him, he just blast him... into a river, and blast him and knocks off him his feet and blast him away. You see, that's... It's good stuff. I think you'd like that. I don't like the artsy-fartsy thing, I think I... I think I hated his poem.

Father: So, number one. I don't want all this plastic in my garden. And, do you feel like a winner?

Father: I don't go to church to be preached at as though I were some lost sheep.

Vinnie: Clare, you don't seem to understand what the Church is for.

Father: Vinnie, if there's one place the Church should leave alone, it's a man's soul!

Father: They can't keep me out of heaven on a technicality!

Rev. Dr. Lloyd: After considerable thought, we voted that our supporting members should each contribute a sum equal to the cost of their pew.

Father: I paid $5,000 for that pew.

Vinnie: Yes, Clare, that makes our contribution $5,000.

Father: That's robbery. Do you know what that pew is worth today? $3,000. That's what the last one sold for. I've taken a dead loss on that pew of $2,000 already. Frank Bags sold me that pew when the market was at its peak. He knew when to get out. And I'm warning you, Vinnie. If the market ever goes up, I'm going to unload that pew!

Vinnie: I do the best I can to keep down expenses. You know yourself Cousin Phoebe spends twice as much as we do.

Father: Don't talk to me about your cousin Phoebe.

Vinnie: You talk about your own relatives enough.

Vinnie: That's not fair, Vinnie. When I talk about my relatives, I criticize them.

Father: Work never hurt anyone. It's good for them. But if you're going to work, work hard. King Solomon had the right idea about work. "Whatever thy hand findest to do," Solomon said, "do thy doggonedest."

Father: [advising his son on man-woman relationships] All a man has to do is be firm. You know how some times *I* have had to be firm with your mother.

Clarence Day: Yes, but father, but what can you do when they cry?

Father: Hmm... well, uh... that's quite a question. You just have to make them understand that what you are doing is for their good.

Clarence Day: I see...

Father: Now, Clarence, you know all about women.

Father: [stands up to signal the end of the conversation]

Clarence Day: But father...

Father: Yes, Clarence?

Clarence Day: I thought you were going to tell me about...

Father: About what?

Clarence Day: About... women.

Father: Clarence, there are some things gentlemen don't discuss! I told you all you need to know.

Father: I'm going to be baptized!

Father: What's that doing in here?

Vinnie: That's our new rubber plant.

Father: The place for rubber plants is on the equator. Take that object out, Catherine. You're not Catherine.

Annie: No, sir.

Father: Good. Never liked Catherine, anyway.

Father: Why did God make so many dumb fools and Democrats?

Miss Wiggins: Sir, before I can let any girl go from this establishment, I must know the character of the home in which she will be employed.

Father: Madam, *I* am the character of my home.

Rev. Dr. Lloyd: Mrs. Day, your husband is a practical man. We've had to be practical about the new church. We have all the facts and figures.

Father: Oh? What's the property worth where we are now?

Rev. Dr. Lloyd: Oh, let's see. Is it $40,000? I know the figure has a four in it.

Father: What's the new piece of property going to cost you?

Rev. Dr. Lloyd: I think the figure I heard mentioned was $85,000. Or was it $185,000?

Father: Dr. Lloyd, you preach that someday, we'll all have to answer to God.

Rev. Dr. Lloyd: We shall indeed.

Father: Well, I hope God doesn't ask you any questions with figures in them!

Vinnie: But Clare, they're just staying in that little room of Clarence's.

Father: The trouble is, they don't stay there. They stay in the bathroom. Every time I want to take a bath, it's full of giggling females washing their hair!

Vinnie: That's the loveliest ring you ever bought me. Now that I have this, you needn't buy me any more rings.

Father: Well, if you don't want anymore ...

Vinnie: What I'd really like now is a nice diamond necklace.

Father: You're going to every house where you sold a bottle of that concoction and buy it all back.

John Day: But it's a dollar a bottle.

Father: I don't care how much it is. Here, I'll give you the money now. How many bottles did you sell?

John Day: A hundred and twenty-eight.

Father: A hundred and twenty-eight!

Vinnie: Clare, I always told you John would make a good businessman.

Father: Young man, you'll have to come down to my office with me. I'll give you the money to buy back that medicine. $128, and $10 more for Mrs. Sprague's dog, that's $138. But it's all coming out of your allowance. That means you'll not get another penny until the whole $138 is paid up.

John Day: [does math on his fingers] I'll be twenty-one years old!

Father: What did you pay for it?

[speaking of the pug dog figurine]

Vinnie: I didn't pay anything. I charged it.

[first lines]

Mona Gray: [narrating] I used to love my dad's stories, until the one he told me on my tenth birthday.

Dad: There once was a kingdom where everybody lived forever. But the problem with nobody ever dying was that the kingdom got very crowded. And so the king, getting squeezed out of his own castle by his endless royal lineage, issued a decree.

King: [still-life cartoon] Everybody in my kingdom, please pick one person from your family to die. We will have a mass execution that will bring forth much-needed space. Sorry to bum everybody out, but that's the way it goes.

Dad: And each family showed up with their martyr, all except one family.

Father: Sire, we can't decide. We love each other so much that we would all like to die together.

Baker: Oh, no, they can't all die. They run the bakery. They make the best cinnamon buns in all the land.

Father: What if we each cut off a piece of ourselves? And with all of these pieces combined, it will be as if one less person lived in town.

King: Interesting. Hmm. Continue.

Dad: But the daughter refused.

Daughter: But, Dad, I like my limbs.

Father: Don't be selfish. Would you rather one of us die?

Son: You can have my arm.

Mother: I'll give my right ear.

Baker: I see no problem losing some of my fingers.

Father: I'll throw in my nose.

King: Guarantee me a leg, and it's a deal.

Daughter: Well, I do have another one. Okay, I'm in.

Dad: After the executioner had done the deed, the family made an unsightly sight and business went bad. So the family started selling their cinnamon buns by mail order to the next kingdom. And since no one had to look at them, they were a huge hit, and they made heaps of dough. And the father said to the daughter, "You see what we can accomplish if we all stick together?"The end.

Mona Gray: [party guests all staring at Mona's Dad] It was the last birthday party I ever had.

Father: Well, you know what they say son? It's an old saying. "The chef always ruins his first batch of scones." And there goes my first burnt offering there. He's as useless as tits on a bull.

Father: Who the fuck is this Peter anyway? We've never even met him yet.

Elaine: He's the man I love, the man I'm gonna marry. And if being with him means going to live in Russia, then that's the way it's gonna be.

Son: What the hell is that?

Father: A bitch out of hell, son. Take a run at her, kiddo!

Father: [to Kit] I don't want you hanging anymore. I don't wanna see you again. Understand?

Father: Like the poet said: "The only ship certain to come in has black sails."

Father: Nobody wants to be selfish, but everybody is.

Mother: Everybody predicted great things for Ian. He's so nice looking and personable. Now, it's a mystery to me why he's not more successful.

Father: Because he's not content with what he has. He sees himself like Howard, with a fancy life. Always got some scheme. Always waiting for his ship to come in.

Mother: Well, his ship won't come in at the restaurant. He does that out of a son's love for his father.

Father: Like the poet said, "The only ship certain to come in has black sails."

Charlie: Dad, can I have 30 dollars?

Father: 20 dollars? What do you need 10 dollars for?

Father: Listen to me, Theo. Before you can change the world you must realize that you, yourself, are part of it. You can't stand outside looking in.

Father: [from trailer] I'm a solider. Soldiers fight a war.

Mother: That's not war!

Father: It's a vital part of it!

Bruno: I want to go home.

Father: You are home, Bruno. Home is where the family is.

Father: What are you doing today?

Bruno: The same as yesterday

Father: And what was that

Bruno: The same as the day before

Grandma: I sometimes wonder if this is all down to me, making you those costumes for your little plays when you were tiny. You used to adore all that dressing up. Does it still make you feel special, Ralph dear? The uniform... and what it stands for?

Father: Mother. It's a party. Let's not spoil it.

Grandma: Ha! Me? Spoil things?

Father: [whisper] You should be careful. Airing your views so publicly could land you in trouble. You know that.

Father: [Elsa has just discovered the true nature of the camp] Elsa I was sworn to secrecy.

Mother: From your own wife?

Father: I took an oath upon my life, do you understand? Elsa you believe in this too. You want this country to be strong...

Mother: No Ralph! No not THAT! How could you?

Father: Because I am a solider! Soliders fight wars!

Mother: That isn't WAR!

Father: That is a part of it, it's a vital part of it! The Fatherland we all desire, all of us, you included cannot be achieved without work such as this!

[Elsa begins to break down]

Father: Elsa, Elsa!

Mother: Get away from me! GET AWAY FROM ME!

[Begins to cry]

Bruno: [Enters Ralph's office] Grandpa's here!

Father: We'll be through in a moment.

[to Elsa]

Father: Who told you about this?

Father: My work is very important to our country and to you. We're working very hard to make the world better for you.

Mother: No Ralph No, not that... That isn't war!

Father: The fatherland we all desire cannot be achieved without work such as this.

Mother: Don't touch me!

Father: Do you want to hear your grandfather sing?

["translating" Frank Sinatra's Fly Me To The Moon to his children]

Father: Dad loves us. Mom loves us. Do we love them? Yes, we do. I love my brothers and sisters because they love me as well. The spring is flooding my house, the spring is flooding my little heart. My parents are proud of me because I'm doing just fine. I'm doing just fine but I will always try harder. My house, you are beautiful and I love you and I will never ever leave you.

Father: [subtitled version] Soon your mother will give birth to two children and a dog.

Father: The animal that threatens us is a "cat". The most dangerous animal there is. It eats meat, children's flesh in particular. After lacerating its victim with its claws, it devours them with sharp teeth. The face and whole body of the victim.

Father: [subtitled version] I hope your kids have bad influences and develop bad personalities. I wish this with all my heart.

[subtitled version]

[last lines]

Father: If you don't drink your orange juice while it's fresh, it's no use.

Father: No, your mother... is not crazy. And neither, contrary to popular belief, is your brother crazy. He's merely miscast in a play. He was born in the wrong era, on the wrong side of the river... With the ability to be able to do anything that he wants to do and... findin' nothin' that he wants to do. I mean nothing.

Father: Every now and then, a person comes along, has a different view of the world than does the usual person. It doesn't make them crazy. I mean... an acute perception, man... that doesn't, that doesn't make you crazy.

Rusty James: Could you talk normal?

Father: However sometimes... it can drive you crazy, acute perception.

Father: Are you ill, Russell-James?

Rusty James: I got cut up in a knife fight.

Father: Yeah, really.

Rusty James: Yeah.

Father: Yep, really.

[looking at both boys]

Father: Strange lives you two lead.

Rusty James: Strange? At least I'm not a lawyer on welfare.

Rusty James: I saw that chick, Cassandra. She said she wasn't hooked.

The Motorcycle Boy: Yeah? I believe her. You remember what happened to the people who didn't believe Cassandra?

Father: [mumbling] The Greeks got 'em.

Rusty James: What?

Father: [more clearly] The Greeks Got-'Em.

Rusty James: Man, what the fuck do the Greeks have to do with anything?

Father: There was this English butler out in India. One day, he goes in the dining room and what does he see under the table ? A tiger. Not turning a hair, he goes straight to the drawing room. "Hum, hum. Excuse me, my lord," and whispering, so as not to upset the ladies : "I'm very sorry my lord. There appears to be a tiger in the dining room. Perhaps his Lordship will permit use of the twelve bores ?" They go on drinking their tea. And then, there's three gunshots. Well, they don't think nothing of it, this being out in India where they're used to anything. When the butler is back to refresh the teapots, he says, cool as a cucumber : "Dinner will be served at the usual time, my lord. And I am pleased to say there will be no discernible traces left of the recent occurence by that time." There will be no discernible traces of the recent occurrence by that time!

Father: It's a terrible day in a man's life when his daughter brings a boy home. I always thought if I killed the first one, word would get around.

Tessa Scott: You're going to have a life again.

Father: I never had a life. I was an accountant.

Father: You got a girlfriend?

The Kid: Yeah, I got a girlfriend.

Father: You gonna get married?

The Kid: I don't know.

Father: Never get married.

Father: You have no business leavin' this house, you're always sneaking around! You're a Goddamn sinner!

Mother: Shut Up, you don't care about me.

Father: Don't I, keep the heat on?

Mother: I don't like it here, you never talk to me.

The Kid: Dad, please.

Father: What's the matter, with this house?

Mother: You're Crazy.

Father: Shut up!

[smacks Mother]

The Kid: Dad!

Mother: No.

[sobs]

Mother: I'm just, trapped here.

Father: You always, have a roof over your head.

Mother: You won't let me have, any fun.

Father: I can make you, happy. If you just believe in me. Yeah, if you just believe in me.

Mother: You never.

Father: I will die for you.

Father: Listen to me! You come home, when I say come home. You've got no business, in the streets!

Mother: Just leave me alone.

Father: Come here!

Mother: No!

Father: I said now! Do you hear me?

The Kid: Mom! Dad!

Father: You keep this place, clean!

The Kid: Please, Dad she's heard you.

Mother: He wants to kill me, he's crazy.

The Kid: Dad please!

Mother: Look, what he's doing to me.

Father: [Slaps The Kid]

The Kid: Is that yours?

Father: Of course it's mine. Who's else would it be?

[Coalhouse has just learned that his friends have safely escaped]

Father: [trepidatiously] Well, shouldn't we... uh... tell them... that we're... we're coming?

Coalhouse Walker Jr.: [calmly] Yeah. You go on ahead. Tell 'em I'll be right out.

Father: [hesitates] Well...

Coalhouse Walker Jr.: Just go on. I'll be with you.

Father: [still hesitates] Don't...?

Coalhouse Walker Jr.: [firmly] Go.

Father: [stammering] Don't you think it would be... a better idea if we...?

Coalhouse Walker Jr.: [exploding] GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! Don't you understand ANYTHING, white man?

Father: [terrified, rushes out of the library]

Joe: When it comes my turn, will you want me to go?

Father: For democracy, any man would give his only begotten son.

Father: You're gonna make the world safe for democracy!

Joe Age 10: What is democracy?

Father: Well it's never bright clear on myself. Like any other kind government it's got something to do with young men killing each other I believe.

Father: He eats through a tube. And whatever comes in through a tube has to go out through a tube. He is the armless, legless wonder of the twentieth century. And yet, by God, he's just as alive as you and me.

Father: Put your arms around me. I need to feel their warmth, to keep the chill of death away.

Father: [driving home after catching her in the cabin] What are you doing up here?

Laurel: Did you follow me?

Father: I asked you to stay away from him.

[Michael]

Laurel: Michael and I are getting married.

Father: That's not gonna happen.

Laurel: I'll be 18 next week. You can't stop us.

Father: [eerily] You're gonna be 18.

Laurel: Why do you hate him so much?

Father: He has nothing to do with it. I hate myself. I had so many plans for you. Everything got spoiled.

Laurel: Dad, what are you...

Father: It was all my fault. I am so sorry for what I did.

Laurel: Have you been drinking?... Dad?

Father: [speeding up the truck] I didn't know what else to do.

Laurel: [panicing] What are you talking about? Dad, can you slow down. Please.

Laurel: [scared as the truck speeds up] Let me out of this car!

Father: The darkness is coming for you.

Laurel: Let me out!

Laurel: [after the truck is wrecked, strained] Daddy, I-I don't understand.

Father: I couldn't let you turn 18. I couldn't let them take you.

[as he kills her]

[from trailer]

Molly Hartley: [on the phone] Dad? Could you come pick me up?

Father: Are you safe?

Molly Hartley: Yeah. I'm safe.

Father: I'm on my way.

[hangs up and Molly is attacked instantly]

Father: Next time smile more. Otherwise they won't even screw you for 30 euros.

Myrto: You didn't pay.

Father: The accident cost him his passion. And without passion, you cannot play soccer.

Father, Mother: Son, this may not be the best life, but it's all we know.

Jonathan: There's got to be more to life than fighting for fish heads!

Father: Ann, to have your scientific expertise questioned is one thing, to remain true to yourself is another. No acknowledgement means anything, when you are not true to yourself.

Father: [to Mike] As I was, you are. As I am, you will be.

[repeated line]

Father: Seeing is believing.

Father: That's a great deal. You gain all the money, then he does all the work, and I do absolutely nothing. I like that.

Father: I'm so happy that you came. Daddy loves you so much, Carol. I'm so proud of you. If you have come and you have found me, then you are here. You're finally here in this room of your own free will. Oh, Carol, that means that you and I can be together again... Together.

Father: We were doing something great down here. We were gonna change the world. This was only the beginning. Why couldn't you leave us alone? What harm were we doing down here?

Father: You fellas seem lost. Do you need someone to walk you back to your cottage?

Sam Turner: No, we're fine.

Father: You sure about that? You wouldn't wanna walk into the wrong place.

Sam Turner: Why? Is there something you don't want us to see?

Father: It's just an expression, friends. It's late. You wanna go pokin' around other people's business you go right on ahead. But if you put your hand into the dog's bowl, don't be surprised if you get bit.

Father: [reading Arthur Grimsdyke's revenge letter written in the dead James Elliot's blood] "You were cruel and mean right from the start, now you can truly say you have no... heart".

Father: I don't know what's wrong with me.

Charles: Maybe it was the dog. Maybe you're allergic to the dog.

Father: I'm not allergic to the dog. I hate the dog, but I'm not allergic to the dog.

Father: Nobody goes into the Forsythe house, it's so full of ghosts they're square dancing in there.

Grandpa: The truth is...

[sighs]

Grandpa: this is hard for me to say. The truth is... I never banished any lobsters to the sea.

Father: [Long pause] I know that, Dad.

Grandpa: They banished me to the land.

Father: [Yells] What are you talking about?

Son: Goodbye, Dad. I guess I'm Mom's only son now.

Father: You were always Mom's only son. I'm the father, remember?

Son: Oh. Well I loved you like a brother.

[first lines]

Father: [sings] Good mo - or - nin!

Mother: [sings] Slippery When Wet and I'm a mother of two / Could have been a banker, guess a farmer will do / Why did you get to choose?

Father: Well, I don't know if you know this about me, but... I wrote the show. It's how this one goes.

Mother: Well we aren't gonna get very far as a bunch of fucking farmers.

Father: We're farmers you see, which means we don't need things like food. We can live off the land. All we're looking for is the bare essentials... boxes and boxes of bullets.

Grandpa: [to Audience Member] What was that? Tittymitty?

Father: How do you feel about that, Grandpa?

Grandpa: [Grinning] I like that name.

Father: He likes it a lot, you made him happy.

Father: Have you ever heard the saying the blind leading the blind? That's what this trip is all about. Remembering old sayings.

Father: But you know what kids, sometimes things just happen. And sometimes God... is a vicious, two-faced prick.

Mother: This ox doesn't have any teeth. Or eyes.

Father: That's right, honey. That way he can't eat us or watch us undress. We do have a young daughter to think of. Now don't get any ideas, you horny ox.

Father: That's what this trip is all about. Chewing grass.

Father: All right, on three. What's this trip all about? One, two, three!

Mother: Dying.

[Said at the same time]

Daughter: Eating grass.

[Said at the same time]

Son: Skinny dipping!

[Said at the same time]

Horny Ox: I'm a monster!

[Said at the same time]

Mother: Look, we are out here starving in the middle of the woods and you wanna crawl up on me and inject me with your filth? Blegh.

Father: Why you gotta say it like that?

Father: Honey. I just want to double check... if we're talking about a literal, actual dog? Then yeah, to hell with the dog, family first, I won't ask for a dog again! But we're talking about me...

Mother: Yes, we're talking about you.

Father: Then my opinion of that dog's completely different!

Mother: And you, Jack Bauer. This is your family now. You have to lead them without me. And you can do it, you have changed.

Father: Really, I have?

Mother: Well... kind of. Uh, a little bit... well you know, enough to make me believe in you. But I swear if you backslide I will fly down from God's heaven and I will smack you into the devil's hell.

Father: Alright pioneers, what do you say? What would you like to name me, your wagon leader?

[Audience yells names]

Father: What did you say? Ah, Jack Bauer.

[sighs happily]

Father: Look out, Oregon, 'cause here come the... I'm looking for a last name.

[Audience member calls out something]

Father: The Dikrats.

Mother: [sings] Come on, Jack Bauer, the water's just right...

Father: Be right there, honey.

[last lines]

Son: [sings, taking clothes off] Splashy, splashy, there's nothing more fun / Than dropping trou and getting some sun / You can skinny if you're fat or old / Put Marco Polo in a wrestling hold

Father: There's his penis.

Father: You got what you wanted. Why don't you just get out of here?

Killer Girl: Well, that's just not our style.

Father: I always knew my inside leg would lead to power.

[first lines]

Father: Please!

[is struck by butt of gun]

Soldier 1: Women to the left, men to the right.