Falcone Quotes in Haggard (2003)

Falcone: So how's school going, Raab?

Raab: Ohh, wow, not so good. I lost my schedule at the beginning of the semester, and couldn't find my classes for like a month and a half. I end up getting three D's and an F, I mean, it's not that bad considering I passed.

Valo: Let me guess: some sort of experiment?

Falcone: Spearmint? I'd rather Wintergreen. What are you talkin' about?

Valo: The TV. It's sideways.

Falcone: Why wouldn't it be sideways? I have to watch it with my neck straight, so I'm comfortable. Otherwise I'd have a taco neck, ya know?

Valo: Did you take acid?

Falcone: ...yea.

Falcone: I will tell you everything, I'll let you know. You'll be so much smarter. Girls are like... a lake, you know? Like, you can jump right in, get in there, and then you're all used to it and everything's great. But come winter time

[snaps fingers]

Falcone: that shit's fuckin' frozen. Then you're fucked. That's why I know the difference: I always pull out of it.

Valo: What are you talking about? This food is making you crazy.

Falcone: I like chocolate, I like fudge, I'll make some now or I won't budge.

Valo: He definitely doesn't wear the pants in that relationship.

Falcone: Pants? He wears girl's underwears.

Falcone: Don Vito is a whore about his grapes.

Valo: Why is Don Vito such a bitch about grapes?

Falcone: Yeah, Don Vito's a whore about grapes.

Valo: I popped the trunk for you!

Falcone: Yeah, I popped a boner for you, fuck you.

Falcone: These... are girlfriend's... underwears.

[while filming a home movie using a model train set and action figures]

Falcone: What are you guys doing, humping on the caboose?

Valo: Tell him how Hellboy's in for it.

Falcone: You know Hellboy? He's in for it.

Falcone: Later on do you wanna go to to the bakery? I can almost taste it with my nose. Ever feel that way?

Falcone: Anyway, I'm making this invention and, uh, I need like freeon from old fridgerators so keep an eye out. It's this uh, reverse microwave I'm making. Oh man, it makes things cool real fast.

Raab: So... you're making some invention that could make stuff cold like, rally fast?

Falcone: That's what I just said...