Faiza Quotes in Two Night Stand (2014)

Megan: This is a serious pattern, I am regressing. Last year I was in college and I was Chris's fiancee and I drank whine in restaurants. And now I am at home all day in my underwear, and I'm nobody's nothing and I can't even get into a bar. What is happening to me? I am going backwards! I am Benjamin Button-ing!

Faiza: He moved on, so what, so can you. I say take a cab home, get on that dating site, pick a cute guy. No drinks, no dinner, just a hook-up.

Megan: You can't order it. It's not Edible Arrangements!

Faiza: Uh, yeah, you can. You have tits and the internet.

Faiza: Cedric's friend is having this birthday thing at this bar.

Megan: So then your not cooking dinner?

Megan: No...

[Faiza presses her two fingers against Megan's forehead]

Megan: Yeah.

Faiza: Do you wanna come?

Megan: Well that kind of depends on the cake situation.

Faiza: Well, the birthday boy is single. And he's not the brightest but he's pretty, so he's perfect for a one-night stand.

Megan: I don't know. Do you think I'm ready?

Faiza: Who cares? I'm ready for you to be ready. I mean seriously, how long has it been? Aren't you horny?