Fairy Godfather Quotes in Cinderfella (1960)

Fairy Godfather: [Fella has fainted] Jack and Jill! Fetch a pail of water!

[Jack and Jill magically appear and dump water on Fella]

Fairy Godfather: Fella, you have been chosen to rectify all the great wrongs brought about by the original Cinderella story. Through the centuries, the women of the world influenced by the Cinderella story have waited. Waited for their Prince Charming's to come galloping out of the wild blue yonders on their white horses to claim their hands in marriage.

Cinderfella: Yeah, I read that once...

Fairy Godfather: But there was only one Prince Charming! And, when he didn't appear, these women married the closest available man. And they were forever after after miserable, because they always regretted and they felt that, well, they had taken second-best. But what is worse, they made their poor husbands miserable because the poor fellow wasn't a prince.

Cinderfella: Tsk, tsk, tsk...

Fairy Godfather: Oh, the Cinderella legend has brought nothing but dissatisfaction to the hearts of women. And their husbands have taken the brunt of it.

Cinderfella: It's not fair.

Fairy Godfather: I won't bother you with actual statistics, Fella, but the unhappy husbands of the world are crying for help! They're crying for a chance to get even. It's time, for a change! And you have been chosen to bring out that change.

Cinderfella: Change... I'm... chosen... I'm... who... chosen...?

Cinderfella: Hey, isn't he holding the future wife just a little too close?

Fairy Godfather: Oh, ho-ho! Stop worrying. She's all yours, every bit of her.

Cinderfella: Yeah, but I'd like to have the bits he's holding!

Fairy Godfather: If you can no longer believe in your Fairy Godfather, maybe it'll be easier to believe in your Fairy Godmother... I'm up on all this Oedipus nonsense, ya know!