Fabious Quotes in Your Highness (2011)

Leezar: I'm here to steal a beautiful virgin that looks just. Like. Her.

Fabious: And how do you plan to do that?

Leezar: Magic.

[cracks neck]

Leezar: Motherfucker.

[from trailer]

[Fabious is bitten by a snake in the thigh ]

Courtney: SHIT!

Fabious: You have to suck out the venom!

Thadeous: I don't want to suck it, you suck it!

Fabious: I can't suck my own venom!

Thadeous: Yes you can! I'll help you!

[pushes Fabious's head down]

Thadeous: Suck it! Suck your venom!

Fabious: I can't reach it with my mouth!

Thadeous: Courtney, suck the venom!

Courtney: But I've never...

Thadeous: [pushes Courtney's head down] SUCK IT!

Fabious: What's your problem? Why are you being such a sourpuss?

Thadeous: I'm not being a sourpuss! I just didn't want to be at that celebration

Fabious: All I want is for you to be a part of this moment. I want you to be gay with me and father.

Thadeous: I don't want to be gay with you two!

Great Wize Wizard: This cricket compass will catch the light and point the way to the labyrinths location. Be warned: they say the walls of this maze drive men to madness. But if you can find your way, the blade will be yours.

Fabious: Thank you, Wize Wizard.

Great Wize Wizard: Not so fast. First you must answer a riddle. What journey be long and twisted and sensitive at hand? To what end must man go to discover the depths of his ecstasy? Think hard strong warriors.

Fabious: Fuck! I know this!

Fabious: I got it! You want us to twist, what is long, with our sensitive hands?

Thadeous: He wants us to jerk him off!

Great Wize Wizard: Just touch the tip and twist it.

Thadeous: We are not going to do that.

Fabious: If it's for the quest, we will do what needs to be done.

Thadeous: Yuck!

[from trailer]

[the brothers get high]

Fabious: [holding his head] Thadeous, are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Thadeous: [calmly] You making a fool of yourself. Handle your shit, Fabious, please.

Fabious: Maybe they're right, everything they say about you.

Thadeous: They only say that stuff because of you, because you go out and have to pretend to be the best, and they look at me like I'm some sort of idiot. Everyone in the kingdom wants to suck your dick, no one wants to suck mine!

Fabious: [catching Thadeous watching Isabel as she gets undressed to bathe in the pond] What right have you to spy on a bathing woman from these shrubs?

Thadeous: I'm simply keeping an eye on her. She is not like one of our dim witted chamber maids that let me take from behind. This woman has be vexed. What exactly would it take for one to tame such an adventurous slut?

Fabious: Well, I imagine she'd want a man to be honorable, bold, brave. Know his way round a blade.

[Isabel looks over her shoulder straight towards them]

Thadeous: Oh, God! She's looking at us! Remain perfectly still.

[they freeze in their positions and Isabel ignores them and dives into the pond]