Everett Quotes in Total Recall (1990)

Immigration Officer: [to the Fat Lady] Have you brought any fruits or vegetables on the planet?

Fat Lady: [with a big smile] Two weeks.

Immigration Officer: Excuse me?

Fat Lady: [ticcing with her mouth] Two weeks. Twooo weeeks! Wweeeoo...

Richter: [walks by and looks back to the Fat Lady]

Fat Lady: Two...

[moving her lips with her hands, then moving her head uncontrollably]

Richter: Quaid.

[yelling]

Richter: That's Quaid!

Everett: Where?

Richter: That woman! Get him! Her!

[runs to her]

Everett: Arrest that woman!

Richter: Get that woman!

[a disorder in the hall]

Fat Lady: [screaming and moving her head, touches her ear as if it is a switch, her wig fells off]

[the masks opens and Quaids head becomes visible]

Douglas Quaid: Catch!

[and throws the mask to the soldiers]

Fat Lady: Get ready for a surprise!

[and the mask explodes in the soldiers' faces]

[a door is sealed shut, causing Richter to lose Quaid]

Richter: Open the goddamn door!

Everett: I can't.

Richter: Open it!

Everett: They're all connected.

Helm: Look at that shit!

Richter: What the hell's this?

Everett: The Martians love Kuato. They think he's fuckin' George Washington.

Helm: Kill the bastard!

Everett: [addressing his officers] So look... I want everybody out on the streets. I want you to remember... a young man was killed today, passing through our town... and I don't like it... I don't like it at all. Goodbye.

Everett: [to Wade] As your father once said to me....

[pauses a moment]

Everett: [Wade's looking at him interested] Forget it, I would have made it up anyway!

Everett: Are you gonna stand there philosophizing, or are you gonna buy me a drink? You're not smart enough to do both.

Everett: You love somebody, more than anything in the whole damn world. You... worship her. You don't wanna be *alive* without her, and... she says she doesn't want you. You're just... dirt.

Doc: Damn brother! You should be an actor.

Everett: [nods] I am... an actor.

[Paterson turns his head away and tries not to laugh]

Everett: Without love what reason is there for anything?

Courtney: Hey Everett, can I borrow a condom?

Everett: No, but you can have one.

[Courtney pulls out a whole string of condoms]

Everett: Endurance test?

Courtney: More like pop quiz.

[Courtney is in the shower calling Monty to come and speak with her]

Everett: Monty? Moonnty? Go get her, Monty, go get her!

Everett: My cock is cleaner than your bum.

Everett: Oh sure, you're a mechanic?

Simon Wilder: No, I'm a Zen Buddhist, but that's close enough.

Simon Wilder: How many bottles of that wine would you be willing to give me to fix it?

Everett: To get this thing running? Six.

Simon Wilder: Eight.

Everett: Seven.

Simon Wilder: Eight.

Everett: Okay, nine, but that's my final offer.

Simon Wilder: Didn't you used to run a saving and loan?

Bentley: [On the landing of the elegant stairway, near the closet where Mr. Farnsworth/Joe Pendleton meets with Mr. Jordan, invisible to everyone but himself] I noticed there are two cups.

Everett: Well, Sisk felt that since Mr. Farnsworth was pretending to talk to someone, he might want to pretend to give him cocoa, too.

Everett: We want the combination! Pumpkin seed?

Bobby: No. What combination?

Everett: Don't Fuck with me when I'm thirsty!

Everett: Les, would you explain to my retarded sibling here that I can't keep the store open if he insists on throwing our money away on crackhead piss comics?

Harold: [seeing Everett has stood by, allowing the toddler Elwood to open the spigot on the molasses barrel] What did you let him turn the molasses on for?

Everett: I told him I wouldn't do it if I was him.

Harold: You told him you wouldn't do it if you was him. Get him outta here!