Evelyn Quotes in The Mummy (1999)

Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am.

Rick: And what is that?

Evelyn: I... am a librarian.

Dr. Bey: [stutters in disbelief] Oh, look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs, flies, locusts, anything but YOU! Compared to you the other plagues were a joy!

Evelyn: I am so very sorry. It was an accident.

Dr. Bey: My darling girl, when Ramses destroyed Syria, that was an accident. You are a catastrophe!

Evelyn: [Upon opening the tomb] I've dreamt about this since I was a little girl.

Rick: You dream about dead guys?

Rick: Can you swim?

Evelyn: Well, of course I can swim if the occasion calls for it.

Rick: [throwing her overboard] Trust me. It calls for it.

Evelyn: [Evy is drunk] You're wondering, 'What is a place like me doing in a girl like this?'

Rick: Yeah, something like that.

Dr. Bey: We are part of an ancient secret society. For over three thousand years we have guarded the City of the Dead. We are sworn at manhood to do any and all in our power to stop the High Priest Imhotep from being reborn into this world.

Ardeth Bay: Now, because of you, we have failed.

Evelyn: And you think this justifies the killing of innocent people?

Dr. Bey: To stop this creature? Let me think...

Ardeth Bay, Dr. Bey: YES!

Evelyn: [at Hamunaptra, opening Imhotep's sarcophagus] Oh my God, I hate it when these things do that.

Rick: Is he supposed to look like that?

Evelyn: No, I've never seen a mummy look like this before. He's still... still...

Rick, Jonathan: ...juicy.

Evelyn: You were actually at Hamunaptra?

Rick: Yeah, I was there.

Evelyn: You swear?

Rick: Every damn day.

Rick: Let me get this straight, they ripped out your guts and they stuffed them in jars?

Evelyn: And they take out your heart as well. Oh, and you know how they took out your brains?

Jonathan: Evy, I don't think we need to know this

Evelyn: They take a sharp, red hot poker, stick it up your nose, scramble things about a bit, and then rip it all out through your nostrils.

Rick: Ooh, that's got to hurt.

Evelyn: It's called mummification, you'll be dead when they do this.

Rick: For the record, if I don't make it out of here, don't put me down for mummification.

Jonathan: Likewise.

Evelyn: Patience is a virtue.

Rick: Not right now it isn't.

Evelyn: You lied to me.

Jonathan: I lie to everybody. What makes you so special?

Evelyn: I am your sister.

Jonathan: Yes, well that just makes you more gullible.

Evelyn: [after destroying the museum library] Oops.

Rick: Are you sure you want to be playing around with this thing?

Evelyn: It's just a book. No harm ever came from reading a book.

Evelyn: Have you got any bright ideas?

Rick: I'm thinking, I'm thinking...

Evelyn: You better think of something fast, because, if he turns me into a mummy you're the first one I'm coming after.

Evelyn: By the way, why did you kiss me?

Rick: I don't know. I was about to be hanged. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Evelyn: Ooh!

[gets up and walks away in a huff]

Rick: [Calling after her] What? What'd I say?

Rick: That's called "stealing," you know.

Evelyn: According to you and my brother it's called "borrowing."

Rick: Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you.

Evelyn: The only thing that scares me, Mr. O'Connell, are your manners.

Evelyn: [Jonathan looks through the warden's pouch. Suddenly he cuts himself on something] What is it?

Jonathan: A broken bottle. Glenlivet. Twelve years old! Well, he may have been a stinky fellow, but he had good taste.

Rick: [trying to pack Evelyn's things into a suitcase but as he's packing, she's taking her things back out again] I thought you said you didn't believe in all this fairy tales and hokum stuff!

Evelyn: Well, having an encounter with a three thousand year old walking, talking corpse does tend to convert one.

Rick: Forget it! We're out the door, we're down the hall, and we're gone.

Evelyn: Oh no we are not!

Rick: Oh yes we are!

Evelyn: Oh no we are not! We woke him up and we are going stop him!

Rick: We? What 'we'? We didn't read that book, I told you not to play around with that thing, didn't I tell you not to play around with that thing?

Evelyn: Yes, that's right, me, me, me, me, I, I, I woke him up and I intend to stop him.

Rick: Oh yeah? How? You heard the man, no mortal weapons can kill this guy

Evelyn: Then we're just going to have to find some immortal ones!

Rick: There goes that 'we' again, y'know I wonder if-

[Evelyn slams the suitcase shut on Rick's fingers]

Rick: Ah!

Evelyn: Listen we've got to do something! Once the creature's been reborn his curse is going to spread until the whole of the earth is destroyed!

Rick: And is that my problem?

Evelyn: Well it is everybody's problem!

Rick: Evelyn, I appreciate you saving my life and all but when I signed on I agreed to take you out there and bring you back, end of job, end of story, contract terminated!

Evelyn: Oh, that's all I am to you, a contract?

Rick: Ok look, you can either tag along with me or stay here... and try to save the world! What's it gonna be?

Evelyn: I'm staying.

Rick: Fine!

Evelyn: Fine!

Rick: Fine.

Evelyn: Fine.

Rick: Fine.

[leaves and slams the door]

Evelyn: Ooh...

Evelyn, Imhotep: Death is only the beginning.

Evelyn: [In a darkened room] Abdul?

[no answer]

Evelyn: Mohammed?

[no answer]

Evelyn: ... Bob?

Evelyn: We must stop him from regenerating. Who opened that chest?

Mr. Henderson: Well, there was me, and Daniels here. Oh, and Burns, of course.

Mr. Daniels: And that Egyptologist feller.

Rick: What about my buddy, Beni?

Mr. Daniels: Nah, he scrammed out of there 'fore we opened the damn thing.

Mr. Henderson: Yeah. He was the smart one.

Rick: Well, yeah, that sounds like Beni.

Evelyn: There is only one person I know that can possibly give us any answers.

[sees Ardeth Bay]

Evelyn: You?

Dr. Bey: Miss Carnahan. Gentlemen.

[the men draw their guns and point them at Ardeth]

Evelyn: [about Ardeth] What is HE doing here?

Dr. Bey: Do you really want to know, or would you prefer to just shoot us?

Rick: After what I just saw, I'm willing to go on a little faith here.

Jonathan: [Jonathan hands Evy a strange box] My whole life I've never found anything, Evy. *Please* tell me I've found something.

Jonathan: [Evelyn opens the strange box, inside lies an ancient map] Jonathan?

Jonathan: Yes?

Evelyn: I think you found something.

Evelyn: [about O'Connell] Personally, I think he's filthy, rude, a complete scoundrel. I don't like him one bit.

Rick: Anyone I know?

Evelyn: Keep him busy.

Rick: [being thrown against a pillar by Imhotep] No problem.

Evelyn: [after the warden has died] What do you suppose killed him?

Jonathan: Did you ever see him eat?

Evelyn: Oh, for heaven's sake, girl! It wasn't that good of a kiss.

Evelyn: Oh my God it's a... it's a sarcophagus. Buried at the base of Anubis. He must have been someone of great importance. Or he did something *very* naughty.

Evelyn: You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself always get their comeuppance.

Beni: They do?

Evelyn: The map! The map! We forgot the map!

Rick: Relax. I'm the map. It's all up here.

[points to his head]

Evelyn: Oh, that's comforting.

Evelyn: Now, what exactly is this man in prison for?

Warden Gad Hassan: Well, this I did not know. But when I heard you were coming, I asked him that myself.

Warden Gad Hassan: Ya'llah!

[Arabic: "Hurry up!"]

Evelyn: And what did he say?

Warden Gad Hassan: He said he was 'just looking for a good time.'

Evelyn: Have you no respect for the dead?

Jonathan: Of course I do, but sometimes I'd rather like to join them.

Evelyn: Well I wish you would do it sooner rather than later before you ruin my career the way you've ruined yours.

Dr. Bey: [Imhotep, fully regenerated, and Beni, walks through the possessed male crowd towards Rick, Evelyn, Jonathan, Dr. Bey, and Ardeth] It's the creature. He's fully regenerated.

Imhotep: Keetah mi pharos aja nilo, isirian.

Beni: [translating] "Come with me, my princess. It is time to make you mine, forever."

Evelyn: [corrects Beni] "For all eternity," idiot.

Imhotep: Kootash de na... aja nilo.

Beni: [translating] "Take my hand and I will spare your friends."

[Rick scoffs]

Jonathan: [about a noise] What was that?

Rick: Sounds like... bugs.

Evelyn: [to the warden] He said 'bugs.'

Warden Gad Hassan: What do you mean bugs? I hate bugs!

Evelyn: Mister O'Connell, can you look me in the eye, and guarantee me that this isn't all some kind of a flimflam?

Evelyn: I will give you one hundred pounds to save this man's life.

Warden Gad Hassan: Madame, I would pay one hundred pounds just to see him hang.

Evelyn: Two! Two hundred pounds!

Warden Gad Hassan: Proceed.

Evelyn: Three hundred pounds! Five hundred pounds!

Warden Gad Hassan: [looks at her] And what else?

[puts his hand on her thigh]

Warden Gad Hassan: I'm a very lonely man.

Warden Gad Hassan: [Rick is hanging from the noose] Ha, ha! His neck did not break! Oh, I am so sorry. Now we must watch him strangle to death!

Evelyn: [after a pause] He knows the location to Hamunaptra.

Warden Gad Hassan: You lie!

Evelyn: I would never!

Warden Gad Hassan: Are you telling me this filthy, godless son of a pig knows where to find the city of the dead?

Evelyn: Yes.

Warden Gad Hassan: Truly?

Evelyn: Yes! And if you cut him down, we will give you... ten percent.

Warden Gad Hassan: Fifty percent.

Evelyn: Twenty!

Warden Gad Hassan: Forty!

Evelyn: Thirty!

Warden Gad Hassan: Twenty-five!

Evelyn: Ah! Deal!

Warden Gad Hassan: [giving in] Agh! Cut him down!

Beni: [translating for Imhotep] Come with me my princess and I will make you mine... forever.

Evelyn: "For all eternity." Idiot.

Evelyn: Where are they taking him?

Warden Gad Hassan: To be hanged. Apparently, he had a VERY good time.

Evelyn: [to Imhotep about his sand storm] Stop it! You'll kill them!

Beni: That's the idea.

Evelyn: [upon inspecting the map to Hamunaptra] You see the cartouche there? It's the official royal seal of Seti I, I'm sure of it.

Jonathan: Two questions: Who the hell was Seti I? And was he rich?

Evelyn: He was the second pharaoh of the 19th dynasty, said to be the wealthiest pharaoh of them all.

Jonathan: That's good. I like this fellow. I like him very much.

Evelyn: [about Ahm Shere] Alexander the Great sent troops in search of it.

Rick: Great for him.

Evelyn: So did Caesar.

Rick: Yeah, look what happened to his career.

Evelyn: And Napoleon.

Rick: Yeah, but, we're smarter than him. And taller, too.

Evelyn: Exactly. That's why we're the ones who are gonna find it.

Rick: Because we're taller?

Evelyn: No harm ever came from opening a chest

Rick: Yeah, right, and no harm ever came from reading a book. You remember how that one went?

Alex: [as Evy fights Imhotep's followers with a sword] Whoa, mom! When did you learn to do that?

Evelyn: [surprised look on her face] I have no idea.

[a thug grabs her by the throat and pushes her against the wall. She knees him in the groin, and decks him with a right hook]

Evelyn: That I learned from your father!

Rick: Where the hell's Jonathon?

Evelyn: [Jonathon drives up in a double-decker bus] Alex.

Rick: What's the matter with my car?

Jonathan: Well, I was forced to find an alternative means of transportation.

Rick: A double-decker bus?

Jonathan: [pointing to Alex] It was his idea.

Alex: Was not!

Jonathan: Was too!

Rick: Just go!

Alex: Was not!

Jonathan: Was too!

Evelyn: Jonathan.

Jonathan: Yes?

Evelyn: That's my husband and my son down there. Make me proud.

Jonathan: Today's that day, Evy.

Izzy: [after their narrow escape, Izzy cheers wildly, then rounds on O'Connell]

[furious]

Izzy: O'Connell, you almost got me killed!

Rick: [shrugs weakly] At least you didn't get shot.

Evelyn: [Izzy is about to say more, when Evie grabs him and smothers his face with kisses] Izzy, thank you! Thank you!

Izzy: [considerably more mellow] O'Connell, who the hell you been messing with this time, huh?

Rick: Oh, you know, the usual. Mummies, pygmies, big bugs.

Rick: Let me guess, it was commanded by this Scorpion King guy?

Evelyn: Yes, but he only awakens once every 5,000 years.

Rick: Right. And if someone doesn't kill him, then he's gonna wipe out the world.

Evelyn: How did you know?

Rick: I didn't, but that's always the story.

Evelyn: The last known expedition to actually reach Ahm Shere was sent by Ramses the Fourth over 3,000 years ago. He sent over a thousand men.

Rick: And none of them was ever seen again.

Evelyn: How did you know?

Rick: I didn't, but that's always the story.

Rick: Right, she's a reincarnated princess and I'm a warrior for God?

Ardeth Bay: And your son leads the way to Ahm Shere. Three sides of the pyramid. This was all preordained thousands of years ago.

Evelyn: But how does the story end?

Ardeth Bay: Only the journey is written, not the destination.

Rick: Convenient.

Rick: [talking about Alex] I swear that kid gets more and more like you every day.

Evelyn: You mean more attractive, sweet and devilishly charming?

Rick: No. He's driving me crazy.

Rick: [Evelyn has just kicked a poisonous snake towards Rick] Those are poisonous, you know.

Evelyn: Only if they bite you.

Izzy: Remember that bank job in Marrakesh?

Evelyn: Bank job?

Rick: It's not like it sounds.

Izzy: Oh it's exactly how it sounds. I'm flying high, hiding in the sun, the white boy here flags me down so I fly in low for the pickup. The next thing I know, I get shot! I'm lying in the middle of the road with my spleen hangin' out and I see him waltzing up with some belly dancer girl.

Evelyn: Belly dancer girl? Izzy, I think you and I should talk.

Izzy: As long as I don't get shot.

Alex: Sucker weighs a goddang ton.

Evelyn: Alex, watch your language!

Alex: Rather weighty, this.

Evelyn: [Evie is trying to bribe Rick into checking out the Oasis of Ahm Shere] I think the bracelet is some sort of guide to the lost oasis of Ahm Shere.

Rick: Evy, I know what you're thinking and the answer is no. We just got home.

Evelyn: That's the beauty of it, we're already packed.

Rick: Why don't you just give me one good reason.

Evelyn: It's just an oasis. Darling. A beautiful, exciting, romantic oasis.

Rick: The kind with the white, sandy beach and the palm trees and the cool, clear, blue water and - we could have some of those big drinks with the little umbrellas.

Evelyn: Sounds good.

Rick: Sounds too good. What's the catch?

Evelyn: Supposedly it's the resting place of Anubis's army.

Rick: Ah, ya. see. I knew there's a catch. There's always a catch.

Meela: [as Evy and Meela square off] Nefertiri.

Evelyn: Anck-su-namun.

Meela: [smiles] Good.

Rick: Thought I almost lost you.

Evelyn: For a moment there you did.

Evelyn: Do you want to know what heaven looks like?

Rick: Later.

Alex: Oh please!

Rick: This is bad, Evy.

Evelyn: We've had bad before.

Rick: This is worse.

Evelyn: Alex, I'm serious, if you've lost that key, you're grounded.

Alex: I haven't lost it, I just can't find it. There's a difference.

Evelyn: Would you like to know what heaven looks like?

Rick: Later.

Evelyn: [to Imhotep] You wait! I'll put you in your grave again!

Baltus Hafez, the Curator: [to Evelyn] Our thinking was, not if we put you in your grave first.

Izzy: You're not exactly catching me at my best...

Evelyn: Oh... I'm sure I am.

Rick: Okay, now you're starting to scare me.

Evelyn: Now I'm starting to scare myself.

Evelyn: [trying to convince Rick] That's why I love you.

Rick: Nice try.

Evelyn: Those knickers are not mine.

Rick: Have I kissed you today?

[does]

Rick: I hate it when you do that.

Rick: [grins] Why?

Evelyn: It makes me feel like agreeing to anything.

Rick: Anything?

Rafe: J, L, M, K, P, O, E, T, X. Eyes like an eagle, ma'am.

Evelyn: Slow down, flyboy. And instead of the bottom, read the very top. Both eyes.

Rafe: Yeah. C. Sorry, J.

[Clears throat]

Rafe: C, W, uh, Q, uh, Q

Evelyn: [Smiles] Read the bottom line again, please, but read it right to left and every other letter.

Rafe: E, X...

Danny: X, E.

Rafe: X, E. X, E, ma'am. Ma'am, I know how this looks.

Evelyn: I'm sorry, Lieutenant. I really am, but army and navy requires 20/20 vision.

Rafe: Oh, I... It's not a problem with my eyes. I mean, I can see. I mean I can hit a runnin' rabbit with a $3.00 pistol. I got a problem with letters, that's all.

Evelyn: Well, maybe after some schooling, you could come back and take the test again.

Rafe: No, I had schooling. I mean, the teachers just never knew what to make of it, I... It's just letters. I mix 'em up sometimes. That's all. I mean, I just get 'em backword sometimes. Look here. My math and spatial reasoning and my verbal scores are all excellent.

Evelyn: But you barely passed the written exam.

Danny: Yeah, but he did pass it. So it's my turn now?

Evelyn: No, you'll wait your turn.

Danny: Yes, ma'am.

Rafe: Ma'am, I'm never gonna be an English teacher. But I know why I'm here: to be a pilot. And you don't dogfight with manuals. You don't fly with gauges. I mean, it's all about feeling and speed, and lettin' that plane become like a part of your body. And that manual says that a guy who's a slow reader can't be a good pilot. That file says I'm the best pilot in this room. Ma'am, please, don't take my wings.

Rafe: You are so beautiful it hurts.

Evelyn: It's your nose that hurts.

Rafe: I think it's my heart.

Evelyn: Every night I watch the sunset and soak up every last ray of its warmth, and send it from my heart to yours.

Evelyn: Rafe I'm pregnant... I didn't even know until the day you turned up alive... and then all this happened... I haven't told Danny... I don't want him to know. All he needs to think about is how to do this mission and get back alive. Oh Rafe, all I ever wanted was for us to have a home and grow old together, but life never asked me what I wanted. Now I'm going to give Danny my whole heart... but I don't think I'll ever look at another sunset without thinking of you... I'll love you my whole life.

Danny: You know, the only thing that scares me is that you might love him more than you love me.

Evelyn: I love YOU, Danny.

Evelyn: If I had one more night to live... I'd wanna spend it with you.

Rafe: Hold on a second, Miss, I really, really lick you.

[covers mouth]

Rafe: Like you. I didn't mean to say that, and I just wanted to know if I could donate dinner, well, buy you dinner.

Evelyn: This isn't your chart.

Rafe: No that's this guy right here I think he left.

Evelyn: Have you already had this shot?

Rafe: Yea well once already yea. Well, I mean can I ask you out?

Evelyn: No.

Rafe: Uh...

[Bangs his nose into the tray of supplies]

Rafe: Oh.

Nurse Barbara: Oo. What'd you do to him?

Evelyn: [voiceover] When the action is over and we look back, we understand both more and less. This much is certain. Before the Doolittle raid, America knew nothing but defeat. After it, there was hope of victory. Japan realized, for the first time, they could lose and began to pull back. America realized, that she would win and surged forward. It was a war, that changed America and the world. Dorie Miller was the first black American to be awarded the Navy Cross. But he would not be the last. He joined a brotherhood of heroes. World War II, for us, began at Pearl Harbor, and 1.177 men still lie entombed in the battleship Arizona. America suffered, but America grew stronger. It was not inevitable. The times tried our souls, and through the trial, we overcame.

Danny: You know he taught me to fly, I always knew that not matter what kind of trouble I got into, I wouldn't be in it alone, he'd be there with me. Up there he was always pushin me to be better and faster.

Evelyn: He told me you were a great flyer... The same night he told me, he volunteered to go to England.

Danny: He volunteered? He-he told me he'd been assigned. He was always tryin to protect me. But ya know what I look at myself in the mirror in this uniform... and I still don't know who I am, I look like a hero... but I don't feel like it.

[sighs]

Danny: Rafe... he always looked the part didn't he?

Evelyn: He couldn't wait to be one

Evelyn: You're acting like I didn't love you.

Rafe: Evelyn, loving you kept me alive.

Danny: How can I not feel this way? I kinda' like it.

Evelyn: Oh, you do.

Evelyn: Are you gonna be a bad influence?

Rafe: Of course I'm a bad influence.

Evelyn: Do you ever wonder if this war's going to catch up with us?

Evelyn: You died Rafe. So did I.

Major Jackson: Most officers would have thrown you in the brig.

Evelyn: Most nurses would've gone on to somebody else instead of keeping their fingers plugged in your artery.

[while Evelyn is fixing up a cut on Doris Miller's head]

Evelyn: [referring to the cut] Where'd you get this?

Dorie Miller: Boxin'.

Evelyn: You win?

Dorie Miller: Yes, Ma'am.

Evelyn: And what do you get for winning?

Dorie Miller: Respect.

Evelyn: Oh, but it's such a long story.

Nurse Martha: We've got time.

Danny: [exiting from theater] Evelyn!

Evelyn: Danny! Some comedy, huh?

Danny: Yeah.

Evelyn: It's been a while.

Danny: Yeah, I've been busy training and stuff.

Evelyn: Yeah, I've kinda been avoiding you too.

Danny, Evelyn: Listen, do you...

Danny: Do you want to?

Evelyn: Yeah.

Dorie Miller: Two years, they never even let me fire a weapon.

Evelyn: Well, let's hope you never have to.

[last lines]

Jeanine: It's been over 200 years. Who knows what's out there?

Evelyn: You'll never find out.

[shoots her]

Evelyn: We're on the same side, Tris. I'm Factionless because I don't fit into any one faction. And you're Divergent because you belong to too many. But we're both a threat to Jeanine. My people are ready for war, if that's what it takes.

Jeanine: Do you honestly think the other factions will stand for this?

Evelyn: Because you're so popular?

Evelyn: Tobias.

Four: Mother.

Caleb: I thought she was dead.

Tris: Me, too.

Evelyn: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I always loved watching him sleep. I take it you're setting out to Candor in the morning?

Tris: Yeah.

Evelyn: Listen, I only want what's best for him.

Tris: You hardly even know him.

Evelyn: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? But deep down, I think you're scared I know him all too well.

Tris: I'm not scared.

Evelyn: Of course you are. You're scared he'll finally see you for what you really are. Deadly. You don't believe me? Ask him.

Evelyn: You wanna tuck him in, or should I?

Four: Congratulations, Mother. You got your war.

Evelyn: I know you wish there was another way.

Four: But there isn't.

Evelyn: I'm the lesser of two evils. Is that it?

Four: You'd better be.

[repeated line]

Evelyn: Florence.

Evelyn: Werewolves and vampires and zombies, they're figments, Max. They're not real.

Max, Evelyn: We will always be together... always and forever

Evelyn: Can't we just go back to the way things were?

Max: You're dead to me.

Evelyn: If I kill you, then we can live happily ever after.

Max: You ate Travis. You ate my brother.

Evelyn: Half brother, Max.

Evelyn: You broke my heart!

Max: I know, but it's not beating any more.

Evelyn: There is no past that we can bring back by longing for it. Only a present that builds and creates itself as the past withdraws.

Evelyn: The only real failure is the failure to try. And the measure of success is how we cope with disappointment. As we always must. We came here, and we tried. All of us, in our different ways. Can we be blamed for feeling we're too old to change? Too scared of disappointment to start it all again? We get up every morning, we do our best. Nothing else matters.

Evelyn: But it's also true that the person who risks nothing, does nothing; has nothing. All we know about the future is that it will be different. But, perhaps what we fear is that it will be the same. So, we must celebrate the changes. Because, as someone once said "Everything will be all right in the end. And if it's not all right, then trust me, it's not yet the end."

Evelyn: Nothing here has worked out quite as I expected.

Muriel: Most things don't. But sometimes what happens instead is the good stuff.

Evelyn: Yes

[It is builder's tea]

Evelyn: , we dunk biscuits into it.

Sunaina's Brother: Dunk?

Evelyn: Means lowering the biscuit into the tea and letting it soak in there and trying to calculate the exact moment before the biscuit dissolves, when you whip it up into your mouth and enjoy the blissful union of biscuits and tea combined. It's more relaxing than it sounds.

Evelyn: Is it our friend we are grieving for, whose life we knew so little? Or is it our own loss that we are mourning? Have we traveled far enough that we can allow our tears to fall?

Madge Hardcastle: When someone dies, you think about your own life. And I don't want to grow older. I don't want to be condescended to. To become marginalized and ignored by society. I don't want to be the first person they let off the plane in a hostage crisis.

[chuckles]

Evelyn: [Flustered] I just need some water...

[downs the contents of Madge's glass]

Madge Hardcastle: That was a gin and tonic!

Evelyn: I know that now.

Douglas Ainslie: I invested our, well, my retirement money in our daughter's Internet company. She assured me that as soon as the startup actually, um, started up and the conversion from virtual to actual became sufficiently viable, then she'd be able to pay it all back.

Evelyn: I'm not sure I understand what most of those words mean.

Douglas Ainslie: Well, it turns out neither did she.

Evelyn: [about their new environment] Initially you're overwhelmed. But gradually you realize it's like a wave. Resist, and you'll be knocked over. Dive into it, and you'll swim out the other side.

Evelyn: Didn't you have a girlfriend?

Sonny: She is my girlfriend no longer.

Evelyn: This is a disaster.

Sonny: No, no. Then we must treat it just the same as we would treat a triumph, madam. Is that not what your Mr. Kipling tells us? Although, of course, here we have a problem, because I, Sunil Indrajit Kapoor, have never had a triumph. So, of course, I do not know how to treat one. No, all I've had is a constant series of disasters interspersed with occasional catastrophe, an unending stream of total...

Evelyn: Sonny, Sonny, do you love her?

Evelyn: What's the use of a marriage when nothing is shared?

Evelyn: You're still here.

Douglas Ainslie: I... I missed the plane.

Evelyn: What about Jean?

Douglas Ainslie: She didn't. I had... I had quite an interesting night actually. I... I met the same... um... taxi driver, but this time I let him take me to his brother's hotel, which turned out to be less of a hotel and more of a... more of a brothel really. And... and they gave... they gave me this pipe, said it was apple tobacco but that's not what they called it when I was a student, so... so I made my excuses and left. I needed time to think. This city at night is extraordinary. I think the apple tobacco helped... probably.

Evelyn: Can there be anywhere else in the world that is such an assault on the senses? Those who know the country of old just go about their business. But nothing can prepare the uninitiated for this riot of noise and color. For the heat, the motion; the perpetual teeming crowds.

Evelyn: You look like shit, but at least you're standing up, so that's an improvement.

Evelyn: I think everyone should see themselves doing it and their friends should see it too.

Evelyn: Pornography is meant to titilate and excite you. I mean does a penis excite you? Any ol' penis? Did you like what you saw? Did it get you hot?

Evelyn: The only thing that would help him is a knife right through his fucking throat.

Evelyn: He is a living example of people's obsession with the surface of things.

Adam: Next you're going to tell me that the handkerchief with the strawberries on it is missing!

Evelyn: I don't know that reference.

Evelyn: Don't worry about 'why' when 'what' is right in front of you.

Evelyn: Your father is Bernie LaPlante. It's against his religion to stick his neck out.

Doug: I am not anal-retentive.

Evelyn: Mm.

Doug: I'm organized.

Evelyn: You can't have a predicament without a big dick in the middle.

Vi Vining: You see sex in everything!

Evelyn: Sex is everything.

Mary Adler: [opening a present from Evelyn] An Apple? Whoa.

Evelyn: It's a Macbook, darling. Top of the line, with the retina display.

Frank Adler: Hey, you know who else has a retina display?

Mary Adler: Fred!

Evelyn: Mary, I understand you like mathematics. So, on there, you'll find a great out-of-print book by Charles Zimmer called "Transitions in Advanced Algebra."

Mary Adler: Yeah. Love that book.

Evelyn: You're saying you've read it?

Mary Adler: Yeah, I've kind of moved on to differential equations now.

Frank Adler: Don't forget your manners. Thank your grandma.

Mary Adler: Thank you, Grandma.

Evelyn: Grandmother or Evelyn will do just fine. There's so much more on there. Things I know you'll find really challenging.

Frank Adler: Yes, but sadly it's a school night, and there's homework to do. What a surprise, though, right? Say good night to Grandmother or Evelyn.

Mary Adler: Good night.

Evelyn: Midlife crisis, apparently.

Frank Adler: He's 70.

Evelyn: I know. Must have been on time delay or something.

Frank Adler: Diane instructed me very clearly... that I was only to publish it postmortem.

Evelyn: She died six years ago.

Frank Adler: It wasn't her death she was talking about.

Cynthia: You're late.

Evelyn: I'm sorry.

Cynthia: You'll be.

Evelyn: I love you. I know I have a different way of showing it. But I love you.

Evelyn: [Repeated line] Pinastri.

Evelyn: I love you. You're mine now.

Cynthia: Are you Ok?

Evelyn: Of course.

Cynthia: Are you sure?

Evelyn: I'm sure. I'm sure don't worry. Everything's fine. Everything's more than fine.

Cynthia: Really?

Evelyn: Really. Everything's fine.

[last lines]

Evelyn: I have to write this term's paper, and I wrote about how America has given the world two inventions of enormous power. One is nuclear weapons. The other is rock and roll. It's a question I wrote. Which one is gonna win out in the end?

Evelyn: [to Tom] There is something wrong on this island and you're trying to keep it from me. If there is something wrong, then whatever it is, I think we should leave.

Evelyn: What did the man of the pension tell you?

Tom: Just that something strange had happened to the kids on the island.

Evelyn: Strange... But what?

Tom: I don't know. Some sort of madness. I can't understand this.

Evelyn: [to Eddie] Get off me, you pervert!

Stephen Price: Congratulations. I don't think Evelyn's said that to anything with testicles, ever.

Evelyn: Very funny, Stephen. Have you?

Evelyn: I gave you a goddamn guest list two pages long. Where the hell are they?

Stephen Price: Shredded. Sorry. Decided to whip up one of my own: a group so hungry for money they'd do anything. I thought you'd be more comfortable with your peers.

[hearing the screaming from another part of the house]

Evelyn: Guess old Melissa found what she was looking for.

Stephen Price: Come on, honey, let's go down and meet your guests.

Evelyn: You go ahead, darling. I'm just going to run scolding hot water over the places you just touched me.

Evelyn: Oh, Steven, you poor clueless old geek. All it would have taken was a simple divorce and ripping our prenup into tiny itsy bitsy little pieces, but no matter how it ended, please just know one thing. From the first moment I laid eyes on you I have always, always loved... your money. On the other hand, just the sight of you has made me want to puke.

Stephen Price: [grabbing Evelyn by the throat, surprising her] Is that a fact, princess? I mean, you could have saved us all a great deal of time, not to mention money, if you'd have just let me in on it years ago.

Evelyn: How?

Stephen Price: You must be kidding me. I'm Steven goddamn Price.

Evelyn: [trying to talk while Steven is choking her] Sweetie?

Stephen Price: Anything, angel. Just speak it.

Evelyn: What are you going to do?

Stephen Price: Just what you wanted everyone here to believe in the first place. I'm gonna murder you, Evelyn, with the greatest of pleasure.

Evelyn: Witnesses.

Stephen Price: [grabbing her by her hair and pulling her up off the floor] You're already dead, Evelyn.

[kisses her]

Stephen Price: Happy birthday, baby.

Evelyn: Stephen, if you really love me, you'll find a way to drop dead in the next second.

Stephen Price: Oh, but baby, finding ways for me to die is really your thing. Let's not forget the O.J. knife with the not-so-retractable blade, the Jim Jones Kool-Aid, which was exactly that...

Evelyn: Accidents, all accidents until proven otherwise.

Evelyn: Who invited them?

Stephen Price: I don't know, it wasn't me and you say it wasn't you. Who then, Evelyn? Ghosts?

Evelyn: Ooh, spooky.

Evelyn: You ever find out what happened to that little TV reporter?

Blackburn: No. They never found her.

Evelyn: So, we don't even know if the little bitch is dead or alive?

Blackburn: But I think Price must have killed her. There's no other explanation.

Evelyn: There's plenty, you moron. For all we know, Steven's got her spying on us right now.

Blackburn: Oh, bullshit.

Evelyn: Oh, God. This whole fucking thing's falling apart.

Blackburn: It's not, baby, it's not. Somebody's gonna pull the trigger.

Evelyn: But nobody has yet, Donald. They're not at the breaking point. The bozos have to believe that their lives are in danger.

Blackburn: They have your death at his hands. How much more do they need?

Evelyn: But they didn't see it happen. They still have their doubts, they're confused. What we need is another body. Steven's bloody hands right next to him.

Blackburn: Well, how the hell are we gonna do that?

Evelyn: [laughs] This may sound a little crazy, but hear me out.

[Evelyn brutally stabs Blackburn]

Evelyn: Congratu-fucking-lations!

[from trailer]

Evelyn: They don't dream, you know. The dead don't dream, and the dead never sleep. They wait, they watch for a way to get back. My baby told me to, just like yours will tell you, and you have to do it. You have to send it back. They stopped me. Don't let them stop you. You have to listen to the voices. You know what they did? They let the dead get in. They let the dead get in.

Evelyn: It was you! You did it!

Rachel Keller: What did I do?

Evelyn: You let the dead get in.

Evelyn: You have to kill him.

Atom Galen: Look at that snow down there, it's melting fast. What do you think?

Evelyn: You don't want to know what I think.

Atom Galen: Sure we do.

Evelyn: Honestly, I think that people are incapable of change, and their days are numbered.

Evelyn: There has to be another way. Please! People listen to you.

Dr. Kruipen: You didn't.

Evelyn: I used to believe that people couldn't change; that all we could do is have as much fun as we could before it all came to an end. And now, now I don't want it to end.

Evelyn: And tell your little wife I'll have a surprise for her.

Regina: It's really good. What is it?

Evelyn: Filet, dear. Filet.

Evelyn: [discovering Archie, the dog, dead] Oh, you wicked, wicked girl!

Evelyn: Why didn't you take my call?

David 'Dave' Garver: Where does it say that I gotta drop what I'm doing and answer the phone every time it rings?

Evelyn: Do you know your nostrils flare out into little wings when you're mad? It's kinda cute.

Evelyn: Something wrong?

David 'Dave' Garver: No, I keep getting the feeling I know you from somewhere.

Evelyn: God, you're dumb.

Man: [as a passer-by] Having some trouble, lady?

David 'Dave' Garver: Get lost!

Evelyn: Yeah, get lost, assholes!

Evelyn: I should've known you'd never do anything to spoil it.

David 'Dave' Garver: To spoil what?

Evelyn: What we have between us.

David 'Dave' Garver: We don't have a goddam thing between us.

Evelyn: Don't you like me?

David 'Dave' Garver: You're a nice girl.

Evelyn: But who needs nice girls?

David 'Dave' Garver: I'm kind of hung up on one.

Evelyn: And you don't want to complicate your life.

David 'Dave' Garver: That's exactly right.

Evelyn: Well neither do I, but that's no reason we shouldn't sleep together tonight if we feel like it.

Evelyn: It was funny, I was calling you from that phone booth over there and he was telling me you'd left and I was staring at your car - isn't that funny.

David 'Dave' Garver: Kind of funny.

Evelyn: I did it because I LOVE YOU!

Man in window: People trying to sleep here!

Evelyn: People trying to talk here!

Man in window: How'd you like to tell that to the law?

Evelyn: How'd you like to go screw yourself?

Evelyn: I oughta be mad!

Evelyn: Careful! I might put your eye out.

Evelyn: The whole point of having an answering service is to call them once in a while and see if you've got any messages.

Evelyn: [menacing Tobie with a pair of hair-scissors] I hope Dave likes what he sees when he gets here. Because that's what he's taking to Hell with him!

Evelyn: [sparring with weapons] You get my boy, you get his mother, too, Honey.

Cate: [screams] I don't want you!

Harrison: [running] Hey!

Evelyn: Come on!

Harrison: [runs onto screen] Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Cate: No! I know about Katie.

[points weapon at him]

Harrison: [Looks at both] What are you talking about; take it easy.

Cate: Stay away from me!

[desperately whacks him on side of his head]

Evelyn: [getting more hysterical as she speaks] You bitch. You bitch! Look what you did! You are like Katie! I took care of her, and I'll take care of you, too.

[sounds of effort and grunting and seething screams as the women fight and he gets up and soon the mom's weapon is pushed away and Cate gets away, the mother going after her]

Harrison: Mom!

[he is unable to get up until they are far off; the chase ensues and the mom goes after Cate, who ducks and the mom flies over her into a pool with a war cry. Cate watches]

Harrison: Mom!

[runs faster; sees her in the pool]

Harrison: [whispers] No.

[embattled cry]

Harrison: Mom!

[police come and Harrison is seen holding a traumatized Cate]