Ernie Klump Quotes in The Nutty Professor (1996)

Sherman Klump: Daddy, all I'm saying is that scientific breakthroughs are occurring all the time.

Ernie Klump: The only thing that's 'bout to break through is your ass 'bout to break through the seat of your pants.

[the chorus just finished singing 'Happy Day']

Ernie Klump: Happy day, happy day, happy day, my ass.

Granny Klump: You better eat up Isaac, 'cause you gonna need your strength. Yeah, later on, me and Isaac gonna watch "Mating Season on the Serengeti." Doesn't take a lot to get Isaac going

Papa Klump: Timeout! Let me call a timeout on that

Mama Klump: Lord, my, my.

Papa Klump: I don't want to hear about you old-ass geriatrics.

Granny Klump: Oh, yeah Cletus? Me and Isaac might be dried up geriatrics, but ain't nothing wrong with Isaac'a love tackle.

[Table falls silent]

Ernie Klump: Oh snap, now.

Granny Klump: What's a matter Cletus, cat got your tongue? Did I step on a nerve Cletus? I get ya, got ya, got ya!

Grandma Klump: Come on Cletus, come on right now! But I'm gonna tell you something, I gotta a razor in this here bag.

Papa Klump: Oh yeah? Well let me tell you something, that ain't even no bag you got in your hand, that's your titty.

Mama Klump: Cletus!

Papa Klump: She's an old bag with old bag tittie.

Ernie Klump: [quietly to Ernie Jr] Heh, he called Grandma a titty bag.