Emma Woodhouse Quotes in Emma (1996)

Mr. Knightley: Emma, you didn't ask me to contribute a riddle.

Emma Woodhouse: Your entire personality is a riddle, Mr. Knightley. I thought you overqualified.

Mr. Knightley: I can think of nothing less appealing than an evening of watching other people dance. Go on!

[throwing stick for dog to fetch]

Emma Woodhouse: Then you shall have to dance yourself.

Mr. Knightley: I have no taste for it. I'd rather fetch that stick.

Emma Woodhouse: I'll try to remember to bring it to the ball.

Mr. Knightley: [pause] I just want to stay here where it's cozy.

Emma Woodhouse: I will not know how to behave when I see him.

Mrs. Weston: Let his behavior be your guide

Emma Woodhouse: Oh, but if he seems happy, I will know that he's decided to marry Harriet, and I will not, I know I will not be able to let him tell me. But if he seems sad, I'll know that John has advised him against it. I love John! Or he may seem sad because he fears telling me he will marry my friend. How can John let him do that? I hate John!

Emma Woodhouse: Has an invitation arrived for a party at the Coles?

Mr. Woodhouse: No, thank Heaven. The Coles are nice people, but we should have to go outside to get there.

Mr. Knightley: You must be happy that she settled so well.

Emma Woodhouse: Indeed! One matter of joy in this is that I made the match myself. People said Mr. Weston would never marry again, and what a triumph!

Mr. Knightley: Triumph? You made a lucky guess!

Emma Woodhouse: Have you never known the triumph of a lucky guess? Had I not promoted Mr. Weston's visits and given encouragement where encouragement was needed, we might not have had a wedding today.

Mr. Woodhouse: Then please, my dear, encourage no one else. Marriage is so disrupting to one's social circle.

Emma Woodhouse: Was he handsome?

Jane Fairfax: Many say he is.

Emma Woodhouse: Was he agreeable?

Jane Fairfax: He was in no way disagreeable.

Emma Woodhouse: Was he a man of information?

Jane Fairfax: All his statements seem correct.

Emma Woodhouse: Mr. Knightley, if I have not spoken, it is because I am afraid I will awaken myself from this dream.

Emma Woodhouse: Thank you for being so thoughtful.

Rev. Elton: No - thank you for thinking I am thoughtful.

Emma Woodhouse: Now I need not call you Mr. Knightley. I may call you *my* Mr. Knightley.

Emma Woodhouse: How fascinating that any discordancy between us must always arise from *my* being wrong.

Mr. Knightley: Not fascinating, but true.

Frank Churchill: Is your horse just washing his feet or are the darker forces at work here?

Emma Woodhouse: The latter, I'm afraid. Something's happened to the wheel and I cannot move.

Frank Churchill: You'll just have to live here then. Buhbye.

Mrs. Weston: A suspicion has darted into my head that I cannot get rid of - Mr. Knightley and Jane Fairfax are a couple!

Emma Woodhouse: Mrs. Weston, please do not take to matchmaking, you do it ill!

[Harriet and Mr. Elton are talking as Emma tries to listen from behind a bush]

Rev. Elton: I love... I simply love...

Emma Woodhouse: [to herself] Could this be? The declaration?

Rev. Elton: celery root.

Emma Woodhouse: [voiceover] Dear Diary, Today I tried not to think about Mr. Knightley. I tried not to think about him when I discussed the menu with Cook... I tried not to think about him in the garden where I thrice plucked the petals off a daisy to acertain his feelings for Harriet. I don't think we should keep daisies in the garden, they really are a drab little flower. And I tried not to think about him when I went to bed, but something had to be done.

[gets out of bed and replaces a picture of Harriet with a picture of a dog]

Emma Woodhouse: [about Mr. Knightley marrying Harriet] I hope John advises him against it. After all we know nothing about her parents. They could be pirates!

Mrs. Weston: My dear, I like Harriet very much as, I might remind you, do you.

Emma Woodhouse: Mr. Elton just dropped this off at my house. He claims it is a riddle for your collection, but I think it is something much better.

[hands the paper to Harriet]

Harriet Smith: [after reading the riddle] Is it about sharks?

Emma Woodhouse: Good heavens, why would he write a riddle about sharks?

Emma Woodhouse: [reading Mr. Elton's riddle out loud] "... Behold him there, the monarch of the seas" Which is?

Harriet Smith: A mermaid! A trident? Oh, do you think we shall ever know?

Emma Woodhouse: One does not like to generalize about so many people all at once, Mr. Knightley, but you may be sure that men know nothing about their hearts, whether they be six-and-twenty, or six-and-eighty.

Emma Woodhouse: Not one in a hundred men have "gentleman" so plainly written across them as Mr. Knightley!

Emma Woodhouse: The most beautiful thing in the world is a match well made.

Emma Woodhouse: I must throw a party for her. Otherwise everyone will feel at once how much I dislike her.

Emma Woodhouse: [Seating herself in a carriage] My, this weather...

Rev. Elton: Miss Woodhouse, please! Fate has left us alone for a reason.

Emma Woodhouse: Mr. Elton! Why do you seize my hand!

Rev. Elton: I do not seize your hand so much as the opportunity to tell you that I am hoping, no, fearing; ready to die if you refuse me!

Emma Woodhouse: Good heavens! Go back!

Rev. Elton: Surely my ardent attachment to you, my love and devotion cannot help but have made an impression!

Emma Woodhouse: Mr. Elton! It is I, Miss Woodhouse!

Rev. Elton: Mm hmm.

Emma Woodhouse: The party spirits have confused you! Allow me to deliver your message to Miss Smith, but you must direct no more of it to me.

Rev. Elton: Miss Smith? What sort of message would I want to send to her? Miss Smith?

[In the middle of a heated discussion, Emma tries to change the subject]

Emma Woodhouse: Did I mention we are having a new drain installed?

Emma Woodhouse: What's to be done?

[On learning that Harriet has fallen for Mr Knightley]

Harriet Smith: Must something be done about it?

Emma Woodhouse: Hmm, you dismiss her beauty and good nature, yet I would be very much mistaken, if your sex in general, does not think those claims the highest a woman could possess!

The Cook: Oh, is Mr. Knightley coming?

[Emma has given the cook the menu for that night's dinner, and she has been preoccupied with thoughts of Mr. Knightley]

Emma Woodhouse: Why do you say that?

The Cook: Lamb stew is his favorite.

Harriet: I think this disappoints you.

Emma Woodhouse: Harriet, it is a perfect end to my sad career as a matchmaker.