Em Lewin Quotes in Adventureland (2009)

[last lines]

James Brennan: Are we doing this?

Em Lewin: Yeah, I think we are.

Em Lewin: [to James, after he has been punched in the balls by Frigo] What the hell was that?

James Brennan: It's just my life.

Em Lewin: Was the sex good?

James Brennan: She was very sexy.

Em Lewin: You've been with a lot of girls?

James Brennan: Yep. Are we talking about intercourse specifically?

Em Lewin: [laughs] Yeah.

James Brennan: Yeah, yeah. No in that case there were actually a few times that I could have done that. But it wasn't, it wasn't exactly right.

Em Lewin: [shocked] Wait, so you're telling me you're a virgin?

James Brennan: There were circumstances.

Em Lewin: Oh my God.

James Brennan: No! Okay, alright for example, junior year I was dating this girl Betsy Cooke. Betsy was kind of like, she was kind of a prude actually. Anyway one day I was reading Shakespeare and I realized I don't really love this person. You know? It was one of the sonnets, "being your slave, what should I do but tend upon the hours and times of your desires?" And I realized I don't want to tend to Betsy's hours or her times. Alright that doesn't matter. Anyway, I drove to Betsy's house and I was literally about to tell her and that's the night she said she wanted to have sex. Can you believe it? It was the same night.

Em Lewin: And you didn't just fuck her anyway?

James Brennan: Hmm? No. So what about you and intercourse?

Em Lewin: Can you stop saying intercourse?

James Brennan: Sure, sure.

Em Lewin: I don't know. There were guys in high school and then, like, there were other ones.

James Brennan: Were you in love with any of them?

Em Lewin: No. Hell no.

James Brennan: Gotcha.

Em Lewin: Where are you taking me? You've been to this place before?

James Brennan: No.

Em Lewin: I think you might be the coolest and cutest guy I ever met.

James Brennan: Really?

Em Lewin: I mean, I'm really high but.

[kisses James]

Em Lewin: I don't want to lose you.

Em Lewin: [surprised] Wow.

James Brennan: Hi. I just got off the bus. I'm a New Yorker now. I guess I should probably buy an umbrella.

Em Lewin: I don't think I can see you.

James Brennan: What?

Em Lewin: This summer was rough. I did things that I really, really regret.

James Brennan: Yeah, me too. I'm sorry I told Lisa P. about you and Connell. She told the rest of the world, but I'm not gonna lie. I was really angry at you but you didn't deserve that.

Em Lewin: You know, James, I am so sorry for fucking this up. You were the only good thing that happened this summer.

[starts to walk away]

James Brennan: Wait, Em! I think I maybe see you a little differently than you see yourself. Yes I see the person who fucked up, but I also see the person who saved me from being knifed over a giant-ass panda, who introduced me to psychotropic chocolate-chip cookies, who stood up for Joel, and who doesn't make apologies for herself. Look, my theory is you can't just avoid everybody you screw up with. And you should trust me, I'm a New Yorker.

James Brennan: I think somebody was trying to write "Satan Lives" on that wall but they spelled it "Satin Lives".

Em Lewin: One of those textile worshiping cults no doubt.

Em Lewin: [yelling at Sue] You know you don't deserve to date Joel. I mean, you're an anti-Semitic asshole. What do you like hate gay people too? Do you support apartheid? You're not my friend!

Em Lewin: What are you doing here?

James Brennan: Are you and Connell, like?

Em Lewin: Uh, it started in like. I didn't know you when it. How did you? What are you? How did you find me here?

James Brennan: Lisa P. told me that Connell used to take some other girl here last summer. To his mother's basement.

Em Lewin: Right.

James Brennan: Yeah, I just, like, I don't understand how you could do this.

Em Lewin: I came here to.

[nervously mutters]

James Brennan: I know. I know I fucked up too, okay? I fucked up one time and I fucking told you about it! And you think I'm like some kind of fucking pathetic idiot or something.

Em Lewin: [crying] You're not a fucking idiot. I'm a fucking idiot!

James Brennan: [fighting tears] Yeah, that's right.

[leaves]

Em Lewin: Shit.

Joel: [playing arcade game] Two options: I can play it safe, pick them off from back here, or I can rush into the breach guns a blazing, make a run to the cortex and... bombs away!

[sound of beating a level]

Joel: "Audentes Fortunas Juvat", Fortune Favors the Bold. Virgil said that.

Em Lewin: I'm sure Virgil had Bionic Mutant in mind.

Guest: I love what you've done with the house.

Francy: Thank you.

Mr. Lewin: It's clean.

Em Lewin: I thought the house was a lot nicer the way my mum used to have it, it's pretty barfirific if you ask me.

Francy: Is that some kind of joke Emily?

Em Lewin: No, it's not.

Francy: I think you own me an apology right now.

Em Lewin: I don't owe you shit.

Mike Connell: Are you crazy? You can't come here!

Em Lewin: [crying] I just can't do this anymore. I'm starting to really fucking hate myself, you know?

Mike Connell: [panicking] Oh, Christ. My wife probably heard me come in. I gotta... we'll find someplace to talk. I gotta go make an excuse. Park outside my mom's house, okay?

Em Lewin: Okay.

Mike Connell: Alright.

Em Lewin: [crying] I don't want to drink. Did you know James went out with Lisa P. last week?

Mike Connell: I know.

Em Lewin: You know.

Mike Connell: You want me to rat out James?

Em Lewin: Right.

Mike Connell: Can you sit down, please? Just for a second.

[Em sits on couch]

Mike Connell: Look you want to end this?

Em Lewin: Yes.

James Brennan: Hey, I feel like I should tell you.

Em Lewin: Tell me what?

James Brennan: I had my heart broken recently.

James Brennan: Is that... I don't know, I just thought I should tell you.

Em Lewin: That sucks.

James Brennan: Yeah.

Em Lewin: Who broke your heart?

James Brennan: A girl at school. Yeah, it's typical. I actually, I think there was something there. I think we actually had, like, potential. I don't know. I think she was afraid.

Em Lewin: Afraid of what?

James Brennan: I don't know. Afraid of it being good or something.

Em Lewin: I thought you were off today.

James Brennan: I need to tell you something. Last week I went on a date with Lisa P. She asked me out. It was nothing. We kissed a little bit at the end of the date and I felt her breast a little bit, but nothing else.

Em Lewin: Right. No intercourse?

James Brennan: No. No intercourse. Look, I'm sorry. It's just you and I never talked about being exclusive. I don't want to see her again, okay? You're the one I.

[pauses]

James Brennan: Look, we'll both be in New York soon and I want to hang out with you. I want to get to know you better if you want to get to know me better as well.

Em Lewin: James, you don't owe me anything.

James Brennan: I know, but, I want to owe you things. I'm ready to owe you things, okay? Because I really, really care about you. Are you mad at me? Because I'm sorry.

Em Lewin: No. No, I'm not mad at you. Thanks for telling me. That was, like, really sweet.

Em Lewin: So, Joel told me you're gonna go to Columbia for grad school.

James Brennan: Yeah.

Em Lewin: Wow. I'm at NYU right now.

James Brennan: Oh really? Oh, that's cool. Maybe I'll run into you on the streets of NYC.

Em Lewin: What are you studying?

Em Lewin: Journalism. I want to be, like, a travel essayist. But I want to report on the real state of the world. You know, like Charles Dickens, for example, wrote what you might call travel books but he visited prisons and mental asylums.

Em Lewin: That's cool.

James Brennan: Is it?

Em Lewin: Yeah.

James Brennan: Okay.

Em Lewin: No, it is. But why do you have to go to grad school for that?

James Brennan: No, that's a valid question. But actually journalism is kind of like this old boys' network still. You need the right connections. It's very Ivy League, very exclusive. Stupid. I think my mother would rather I intern as some Fortune 500 company or something like that.

Em Lewin: Fuck that, right?

James Brennan: Yeah.

Em Lewin: [after her stepmom tells her to apologize to her] I don't owe you shit

Em Lewin: [to James] Can you stop saying "intercourse"?

Em Lewin: I can't believe my dad wants to be with that.

[scoffs]

Em Lewin: Do you want to hear something fucked up?

James Brennan: What?

Em Lewin: When my mom first started getting, like, really sick my dad starts going to temple. He's never been serious about his faith. But he decided to buddy up to God like he thought it was going to help save my mom. And that's where he met Francy.

[sighs]

Em Lewin: My mom loses her hair in chemo and my dad starts fucking a bald woman. It's just weird.

Rich: Park's closed, Em.

Em Lewin: [chuckles] Yeah. Rich, you scared the hell out of us.

James Brennan: Rich, it's me James.

Rich: Park's closed, James.

James Brennan: Okay. We'll leave soon, okay?

Rich: Better leave now. The park's closed.

James Brennan: Alright. We better leave now.

Em Lewin: Okay, here we go.

Francy: So, it was a lovely party at the Melnick's and, you know, their daughter Lori is lovely. She said you two used to be best friends.

Em Lewin: She used to sleep over in, like, junior high.

Francy: Did you know that she is at law school at Northwestern?

Em Lewin: Lori Melnick. She once violated our cat Gypsy with a ball point pen!

[laughs]

Francy: [irritated] Alright, Emily! That is enough, young lady.

Bobby: Hey honey, I'm running out of googly eyes. Do you have any more over there?

Paulette: Yeah, me too. But I found these.

[holds up eye patches]

Paulette: So I have just been sort of.

Bobby: Oh!

Em Lewin: [enters office] Hey.

Bobby: Hey Em! What's up?

Em Lewin: [punches clock] Uh, I quit! See ya.

Em Lewin: Well, you know, my dad's a lawyer. It's been his life-long dream for his daughter to work at Adventureland.

James Brennan: Who's that?

Em Lewin: It's my stepmom. I don't think there's any pictures of my mom in here. She died two years ago.

James Brennan: Really? I'm sorry.

Em Lewin: My dad remarried last year. That's Francy. You see that unholy abomination on her head? It's a wig.

James Brennan: Is it?

Em Lewin: She had, like, a nervous breakdown when her first husband divorced her. Lost all her hair. I would feel bad if she wasn't such a status-obsessed witch.

Guest: This faggot's trying to rip off a kid! Why don't you give the kid a fucking panda.

[shows knife]

Em Lewin: Here you go! Here's your panda.

Guest: Yeah thanks. Here you go, Dom. I mean, he's just a little kid.

James Brennan: Look, am I gonna get in trouble? No one's ever supposed to lose a giant-ass panda.

Em Lewin: Is it worth getting knifed over?

James Brennan: No. Hi, I'm James Brennan. I just started.

Em Lewin: Em, nice to meet you. Sucks you're gonna lose your job your second day, James.

James Brennan: No. Shit! I need this job.

Em Lewin: I'm kidding.

[laughs]

Em Lewin: You're okay. I'll tell Bobby you lost the panda at knife point.

Em Lewin: So you're going to Columbia?

James Brennan: No. No, maybe next year.

Em Lewin: Why?

James Brennan: I wrecked my dad's car and I lost all my carny money.

Em Lewin: So what's the plan?

James Brennan: I'm gonna crash at the Y for a week, I'm gonna look for a shitty job, and I don't know.

Em Lewin: Hey, give me your shirt.

[takes James' wet shirt]

Em Lewin: I'll get you another shirt.

James Brennan: Thanks.

[pauses]

James Brennan: Hey, Em. I really missed you.

Em Lewin: You wanna wear this?

[hold up Adventureland games t-shirt]

James Brennan: No! No, I never wanna see that again. Why do you have that? Why do you have that stupid shirt?

[kisses Em]