Elwood P. Dowd Quotes in Harvey (1950)

Elwood P. Dowd: Years ago my mother used to say to me, she'd say, "In this world, Elwood, you must be" - she always called me Elwood - "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.

Elwood P. Dowd: Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.

Elwood P. Dowd: Harvey and I sit in the bars... have a drink or two... play the juke box. And soon the faces of all the other people they turn toward mine and they smile. And they're saying, "We don't know your name, mister, but you're a very nice fella." Harvey and I warm ourselves in all these golden moments. We've entered as strangers - soon we have friends. And they come over... and they sit with us... and they drink with us... and they talk to us. They tell about the big terrible things they've done and the big wonderful things they'll do. Their hopes, and their regrets, and their loves, and their hates. All very large, because nobody ever brings anything small into a bar. And then I introduce them to Harvey... and he's bigger and grander than anything they offer me. And when they leave, they leave impressed. The same people seldom come back; but that's envy, my dear. There's a little bit of envy in the best of us.

Elwood P. Dowd: I'd just put Ed Hickey into a taxi. Ed had been mixing his rye with his gin, and I just felt that he needed conveying. Well, anyway, I was walking down along the street and I heard this voice saying, "Good evening, Mr. Dowd." Well, I turned around and here was this big six-foot rabbit leaning up against a lamp-post. Well, I thought nothing of that because when you've lived in a town as long as I've lived in this one, you get used to the fact that everybody knows your name. And naturally I went over to chat with him. And he said to me... he said, "Ed Hickey was a little spiffed this evening, or could I be mistaken?" Well, of course, he was not mistaken. I think the world and all of Ed, but he was spiffed. Well, we talked like that for awhile and then I said to him, I said, "You have the advantage on me. You know my name and I don't know yours." And, and right back at me he said, "What name do you like?" Well, I didn't even have to think twice about that. Harvey's always been my favorite name. So I said to him, I said, "Harvey." And, uh, this is the interesting thing about the whole thing: He said, "What a coincidence. My name happens to be Harvey."

Elwood P. Dowd: Years ago, my mother used to say to me, she'd say "In this world, Elwood, you can be oh so so smart, or oh so pleasant." Well, for years I was smart... I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.

Elwood P. Dowd: I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whomever I'm with.

Dr. Sanderson: Think carefully, Dowd. Didn't you know somebody, sometime, someplace by the name of Harvey? Didn't you ever know anybody by that name?

Elwood P. Dowd: No, no, not one, Doctor. Maybe that's why I always had such hopes for it.

Dr. Chumley: This sister of yours is at the bottom of a conspiracy against you. She's trying to persuade me to lock you up. Today, she had commitment papers drawn up. She has your power of attorney and the key to your safety box, and she brought you here!

Elwood P. Dowd: My sister did all that in one afternoon. That Veta certainly is a whirlwind, isn't she?

Elwood P. Dowd: You see, science has overcome time and space. Well, Harvey has overcome not only time and space, but any objections.

Dr. Chumley: Fly specks, fly specks! I've been spending my life among fly specks while miracles have been leaning on lampposts at 18th and Fairfax!

Wilson: Who's Harvey?

Miss Kelly: A white rabbit, six feet tall.

Wilson: Six feet?

Elwood P. Dowd: Six feet three and a half inches. Now let's stick to the facts.

Dr. Sanderson: I think that your sister's condition stems from trauma.

Elwood P. Dowd: From what?

Dr. Sanderson: Uh, trauma. Spelled t-r-a-u-m-a. It means shock. There's nothing unusual about it. There's the "birth trauma" - the shock of being born...

Elwood P. Dowd: That's the one we never get over.

Elwood P. Dowd: Miss Kelly, you know, when you wear my flower you make it beautiful.

Mrs. Hazel Chumley: Is there something I can do for you?

Elwood P. Dowd: What did you have in mind?

Elwood P. Dowd: Miss Kelly, perhaps you'd like this flower. I seem to have misplaced my buttonhole.

Elwood P. Dowd: [talking about Harvey] Did I tell you he could stop clocks?

Dr. Chumley: To what purpose.

Elwood P. Dowd: Well, you've heard the expression; 'his face would stop a clock'.

Dr. Chumley: Mm-hmm.

Elwood P. Dowd: Well, Harvey can look at your clock... and stop it. And you can go anywhere you like, with anyone you like, and stay as long as you like, and when you get back... not one minute will have ticked by.

Elwood P. Dowd: Oh, you can't miss him Mrs. Chumley. He's a Pooka.

Mrs. Hazel Chumley: A Pooka? Is that something new?

Elwood P. Dowd: No. No, as I understand it that's something very old.

Elwood P. Dowd: Here, let me give you one of my cards. Now if you should ever want to call me, call me at this number. Don't call me at that one, that's the old one.

Elwood P. Dowd: Wouldn't that get a little monotonous, just Akron, cold beer and 'poor, poor thing' for two weeks?

[Elwood bumps into an old friend he hasn't seen for some time]

Elwood P. Dowd: You've been away.

Mr. Miggles: For 90 days. Been doin' a job for the state. Makin' license plates.

Elwood P. Dowd: Oh, is that so? Interesting work?

Mr. Miggles: I can take it or leave it alone.

Elwood P. Dowd: Oh, I see.

Mr. Miggles: I did a job for 'em last year too. Helpin' 'em build a road.

[last lines]

Elwood P. Dowd: Well, thank you Harvey! I prefer you too.

Elwood P. Dowd: I've never heard Harvey say a word against Akron.

Elwood P. Dowd: That's envy my dear, there's a little bit of envy in the best of us.

[first lines]

Elwood P. Dowd: Is this 348?

Mailman: Yes, it is.

Elwood P. Dowd: I gotta special delivery here.

Mailman: Oh, that sounds interesting.

Elwood P. Dowd: It's for Dowd.

Mailman: Dowd. Dowd's my name. Elwood P. Let me give you one of my cards.

Elwood P. Dowd: That won't be necessary sir. Just, eh, sign right here. Beautiful day.

Mailman: Oh, every day's a beautiful day.

Mr. Cracker, the Bartender: Now, what can I do for you Mr. Dowd?

Elwood P. Dowd: What did you have in mind?

Mr. Cracker, the Bartender: What's your order?

Elwood P. Dowd: Eh, two martinis.

Miss Kelly: I was wondering if you would come downstairs with me, please, to Dr. Sanderson's office? There's something he'd like to explain to you.

Elwood P. Dowd: I'd be glad to, Miss Kelly, but there's another very charming girl in here a minute ago and she asked me to wait. She said something about a bath. I-I-I don't like to disappoint her. She seemed to have her heart set on.

Elwood P. Dowd: [to Harvey] You could have had a bath too.

Miss Kelly: [Turns around to address Elwood] I've already had a bath.

Dr. Sanderson: Please, sit down.

Elwood P. Dowd: After Miss Kelly.

Miss Kelly: Oh, no, really, Mr. Dowd. I couldn't. I'm in-and-out all the time.

Dr. Sanderson: You know, people are people no matter were you go.

Elwood P. Dowd: That is very often the case.

Dr. Sanderson: Under the circumstances, I'd commit my own Grandmother.

Elwood P. Dowd: Oh, does your Grandmother drink too?

Dr. Sanderson: Its just an expression.

Dr. Sanderson: Now, what happened after you introduced Dr. Chumley to Harvey?

Elwood P. Dowd: Well, Harvey suggested that I buy him a drink. And knowing that he doesn't like to drink alone, well, I suggested that Dr. Chummy join him.

Dr. Sanderson: Yes?

Elwood P. Dowd: We joined him.

Dr. Sanderson: Go on.

Elwood P. Dowd: We joined him again.

Elwood P. Dowd: Goodbye, Mr. Wilson.

Wilson: Goodbye.

Elwood P. Dowd: My regards to you and anybody else you happen to run into.

Elwood P. Dowd: I used to know a whole lot of dances. The-the-the-eh- the flea hop, and-and, what's the - eh - the black bottom, the variety drag. I don't, I don't know, I just don't seem to have any time any more. I have so many things to do.

Elwood P. Dowd: You see, science has overcome time and space. Well, Harvey has overcome, not only time and space, but any objections.

Elwood P. Dowd: So far, I haven't been able to think of any place I'd rather be. I always have a wonderful time - wherever I am, whomever I'm with. I'm having a fine time, right here.

Dr. Chumley: I know where I'd go.

Elwood P. Dowd: Where?

Dr. Chumley: I'd go to Akron.

Elwood P. Dowd: Akron? Oh, yes.

Dr. Chumley: There's a cottage camp just outside of Akron and a grove of myrtle trees. Green, cool, beautiful.

Elwood P. Dowd: That's my favorite tree.

Dr. Chumley: And I'd go there with a pretty woman.

Elwood P. Dowd: Oh!

Dr. Chumley: A strange woman. A quiet woman.

Elwood P. Dowd: Oh, under a tree?

Dr. Chumley: I wouldn't even want to know her name. Where I would be just "Mr. Smith." And I would send out for cold beer.

Elwood P. Dowd: No whiskey, huh?

Dr. Chumley: No. Then I would tell her things. Things that I've never told to anyone. Things that are locked deep in here. And as I talk to her, I would want her to hold out a soft white hand and say, "Poor thing. Poor, poor thing."

Elwood P. Dowd: Well, I think this calls for a celebration! Why don't we all go down to Charlie's Place and have a drink?

Veta Louise Simmons: You're not going anywhere, Elwood. You're staying right here.

Myrtle Mae Simmons: Yes, Uncle Elwood.

Judge Gaffney: Stay here, son.

Elwood P. Dowd: I plan to leave, you want me to stay. Oh, an element of conflict in any discussion is a very good thing. It shows everybody is taking part and nobody is left out. I like that.

Elwood P. Dowd: "A diviner grace has never brightened this enchanting face." It's Ovid's fifth elegy. Ovid's always been my favorite poet. My dear, you'll never look lovelier.