Elton Quotes in Clueless (1995)

Cher: If it's a concussion, you have to keep her conscious, okay? Ask her questions.

Elton: What's seven times seven?

Cher: Stuff she knows.

Mr.Hall: So does anyone have any final thoughts on Cher's oration? Elton?

Elton: Yeah. I can't find my Cranberries CD. I gotta go to the quad before anyone snags it.

Elton: Well, what if she was, Bob? I can't see nothin' so bad in that. Well, what if I were to let you in on a little secret that she is? That's right. She told me. She's all torn up about it, too, which I hate to see. Well hell, isn't it somethin' you just have to face up to? I tell ya, somewhere along the line, you even get to likin' the whole idea. When Stoney first give me the news, I coulda shit!

[Bobby spits out his food and throws down his food in disgust]

Elton: Well isn't that nice?

Bobby: It's ridiculous. I'm sittin' here listening to some cracker *asshole* lives in a trailer park compare his life to mine. Keep on tellin' me about the good life, Elton, because it makes me puke.

Elton: [singing] Do you wanna buy a ticket to the raffle of a dog/ That comes a-runnin', lickin', when you whistle, holler "Claude"?/ A big brown dog, just as sound as a ring/ He'll be eight years old if he lives 'til the spring./ Tickets, tickets, two for a quarter!/ If you haven't got your ticket yet, well, you'd better order!/ He'll wet your carpet and he'll fertilize your grass/ He's got three white feet and a hole in his ass!

Max: Now listen, Ephraim.

Elton: Elton.

Max: Now, you seem like a nice boy. I'm sure you don't want to get fired on your first day for homophobia.

Elton: Homophobia?

Max: I didn't think so. You see, I don't know if you've noticed, but we're a gay team - a VERY gay team - and, so, we're a teensy-weensy bit overcompensating, but you see what we're dealing with, don't you, Ephraim?

Max, Elton: [together] Elton!

Max: ...the kind of thugs that used to terrorize people like us - and you - in school. I think you know what I mean. And, so, all we're asking, Ephraim...

Elton: El...

Max: -ton!... All we're asking for, on... bended knee, is for a fair... crack. Whadda ya say, ref?