Ellerby Quotes in The Departed (2006)

Ellerby: [jokingly with Colin] I'm gonna go have a smoke right now. You want a smoke? You don't smoke, do ya, right? What are ya, one of those fitness freaks, huh? Go fuck yourself.

Ellerby: [during a conference briefing about Costello and his crew] Staff Sergeant Dignam is our liaison to the the undercover department, his undercover work is extensive. He's here to give us his report. Sergeant Dignam.

Dignam: Ok. My people are out there. They're like fuckin' indians. You're not gonna see 'em you're not gonna hear about 'em except from me or Captain Queenan. You will not ever know the identity of undercover people. Unfortunately, this shithole has more fuckin' leaks than the Iraqi Navy.

Ellerby: Fuck yourself.

Dignam: I'm tired from fuckin' your wife.

Ellerby: How's your mother?

Dignam: Good, she's tired from fuckin' my father.

Ellerby: [while putting golf balls on a golf range] How is your wedding coming along?

Colin Sullivan: Great, great; she's a doctor.

Ellerby: That's outstanding.

Colin Sullivan: Yeah.

Ellerby: Marriage is an important part of getting ahead: lets people know you're not a homo; married guy seems more stable; people see the ring, they think at least somebody can stand the son of a bitch; ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your cock must work.

[laughs]

Colin Sullivan: [laughing] Yeah, it's working... Overtime!

Ellerby: I'm glad to hear that.

Colin Sullivan: Yeah... Thank you.

Ellerby: [during a conference briefing about Costello and his crew] This unit is new, and you are the newest members of it. You have been selected from the basis of intelligence and aptitude. This is an elite unit. Our job is to smash, or marginally disrupt, organized crime in the city by enhanced cooperation of the FBI, represented here today by Frank Lazio. And we will do it. By organized crime in the city, you know who we mean - that's Jackie Costigan, that's an old picture. Jackie met his demise. Last known photograph. Costello uses three key guys: that's Fitzy - off-the-boat psycho who lives with his mother, who's straight out of Going My Way. Delahunt - muscle. French - the number one. But of course the rock star - you know who. We've done a briefing. Books, so read up. I want any and all ideas so I can pass them off as my own. Word hard, you'll rise fast. You're in the best possible position in the department. Let's go to work.

Ellerby: [jokingly with Colin] You have an immaculate record. Some guys don't trust an immaculate record. I do. I have an immaculate record.

Oliver Queenan: All cell phone signals are under surveillance, due to the courtesy of our Federal friends over there.

Ellerby: Patriot Act, Patriot Act! I love it, I love it, I love it!

Colin Sullivan: [after Dignam has refused to turn over undercover files] I need those passwords.

Ellerby: [smooths down Sullivan's shirt and coat] No, you *want* those passwords.

[detailing the undercover operation to nail Costello]

Ellerby: Our target: microprocessors. Yes, those. I don't know what they are, you don't know what they are, who gives a fuck?

Ellerby: Queenan is dead. I'm your boss now.

Dignam: I don't give a fuck, I'd rather hand in my papers first.

Ellerby: World needs plenty of bartenders - two weeks, with pay!

Ellerby: Cui Bono, who benefits?

Colin Sullivan: Cui gives a shit. It's got a freakin' bow on it.

Ellerby: So do you know why Queenan went into that building?

Colin Sullivan: No.

Dignam: Well, a better question is why the fuck were your guys following him?

Colin Sullivan: I told Internal Investigations to follow Captain Queenan.

Dignam: Why?

Colin Sullivan: That's Internal Investigations' business.

[Dignam hits Colin, starting a fight causing the other officers to intervene]

Dignam: Fucking piece of shit!

Colin Sullivan: Cocksucker! I don't have to fucking explain anything to anybody! I can fucking investigate anybody I fucking want to!

Dignam: [being held back] Let him go, come on.

Colin Sullivan: I don't give a fuck what you think! Captain, I've got reason to believe that Queenan got killed by his own fucking undercover.

Dignam: That's a fucking lie.

Colin Sullivan: [pointing to Dignam] He has fucking information in a locked file, as did Captain Queenan. I need access to those files.

Dignam: Hey, I forgot the password, but if you'd like to come down to the garage with me, I'd be happy to give it to you.

Colin Sullivan: [pushing towards Dignam] That's a fucking lie.

Dignam: [pushing towards Colin] Nobody calls me a liar!

Ellerby: Do you got any suits at home or do you like to come to work like you're gonna invade Poland?

Ellerby: [during a conference briefing about Costello and his crew, referring to microprocessors ] Yes, those. I don't know what they are, you don't know what they are, who gives a fuck.

Ellerby: [during a conference briefing about Costello and his crew] We're not here to solve the case of the missing scumbag, we're here to nail Costello.

Ellerby: [about Dignam] Normally, he's a very, uh, nice guy.

[room laughs]

Ellerby: Don't judge him from this meeting alone.