Eleanor Quotes in Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011)

Brittany: Of course. That's why the water was so hot. It's being heated by an underground magma chamber.

Eleanor: How do you know that?

Brittany: I have no idea the place where I get my nails done always has the science channel on maybe I accidentally paid attention.

Eleanor: I think I sprained my ankle!

Zoe: Ooh, you know what. You should put some ice on that.

[everyone looks at her]

Zoe: Oh no, guys I don't have any ice. I live there in that tree. I just thought that maybe you did, though.

Simon: No, we don't have any ice. Just like we don't have any shelter.

Zoe: Wow, that's a major bummer for you. Do you guys like bungee jumping?

Zoe: Yeah! Wasn't that awesome?

Simon: No, it was not awesome! It's a miracle we got here safely. In fact, the odds of a chipmunk getting hurt on a zip line are one out of six.

Eleanor: [falling] Aaaaaah!

Zoe: Now wasn't that a pleasant ride?

Eleanor: Good thing we don't wear pants!

Eleanor: Ian says that I need to work on being taller.

Theodore: Well, I think you look great just the way you are.

Dr. Sayer: You told him I was a kind man. How kind is it to give life, only to take it away?

Eleanor: It's given to and taken away from all of us.

Dr. Sayer: Why does that not comfort me?

Eleanor: Because you are a kind man. Because he's your friend.

Dr. Sayer: Where are my glasses?

Eleanor: They're on your face.

Prince John: A knife! He's got a knife!

Eleanor: Of course he has a knife, he always has a knife, we all have knives! It's 1183 and we're barbarians! How clear we make it. Oh, my piglets, we are the origins of war: not history's forces, nor the times, nor justice, nor the lack of it, nor causes, nor religions, nor ideas, nor kinds of government, nor any other thing. We are the killers. We breed wars. We carry it like syphilis inside. Dead bodies rot in field and stream because the living ones are rotten. For the love of God, can't we love one another just a little - that's how peace begins. We have so much to love each other for. We have such possibilities, my children. We could change the world.

Eleanor: I even made poor Louis take me on Crusade. How's that for blasphemy. I dressed my maids as Amazons and rode bare-breasted halfway to Damascus. Louis had a seizure and I damn near died of windburn... but the troops were dazzled.

Eleanor: I adored you. I still do.

Henry II: Of all the lies you've told, that is the most terrible.

Eleanor: I know. That's why I've saved it up until now.

Henry II: I marvel at you after all these years. Still like a democratic drawbridge: going down for everybody.

Eleanor: At my age there's not much traffic anymore.

Eleanor: In a world where carpenters get resurrected, everything is possible.

Eleanor: What would you have me do? Give out? Give up? Give in?

Henry II: Give me a little peace.

Eleanor: A little? Why so modest? How about eternal peace? Now there's a thought.

Eleanor: [to her jewelry] I'd hang you from the nipples, but you'd shock the children.

Eleanor: And when you die, which is regrettable but necessary, what will happen to frail Alais and her pruny prince? You can't think Richard's going to wait for your grotesque to grow.

Henry II: You wouldn't let him do a thing like that.

Eleanor: Let him? I'd push him through the nursery door.

Henry II: You're not that cruel.

Eleanor: Don't fret. We'll wait until you're dead to do it.

Henry II: Eleanor, what do you want?

Eleanor: Just what you want, a king for a son. You can make more, I can't. You think I want to disappear? One son is all I've got, and you can blot him out and call me cruel? For these ten years you've lived with everything I've lost, and loved another woman through it all, and I am cruel? I could peel you like a pear and God himself would call it justice!

Henry II: Well, I'm off.

Eleanor: To Rome?

Henry II: That's where they keep the Pope!

Henry II: What is this? I'm not mouldering. My paint's not peeling off. I'm good for years.

Eleanor: How many years? Suppose I hold you back for one. I can. It's possible. Suppose your first son dies, ours did. It's possible. Suppose you're daughtered next, we were. That too is possible. How old is daddy then? What kind of spindly, ricket-ridden, milky, wizened, dim-eyed, gammy-handed, limpy line of things will you beget?

Henry II: The day those stout hearts band together is the day that pigs get wings.

Eleanor: There'll be pork in the treetops come morning.

Eleanor: What family doesn't have its ups and downs?

Eleanor: He had a mind like Aristotle and a form like mortal sin.

[last lines]

Henry II: I hope we never die.

Eleanor: So do I.

Henry II: Do you think there's any chance of it?

Henry II: How was your crossing? Did the Channel part for you?

Eleanor: It went flat when I told it to. I didn't think to ask for more.

Eleanor: [after Henry tells Eleanor he wants their marriage annulled] Out Eleanor... in Alais. Why?

Henry II: A new wife, wife, will bear me sons.

Eleanor: That is the single thing of which I would have thought you had enough.

Eleanor: Henry.

Henry II: Madam.

Eleanor: Did you ever love me?

Henry II: No.

Eleanor: Good. That will make this pleasanter.

Eleanor: Henry?

Henry II: Hmmm?

Eleanor: I have a confession.

Henry II: Yes?

Eleanor: I don't much like our children!

Eleanor: I love you.

Prince Richard: You love nothing. You're incomplete. The human parts of you are missing. You're as dead as you are deadly.

[Gazing into a mirror]

Eleanor: My, what a lovely girl. How could her king have left her?

Eleanor: How dear of you to let me out of jail.

Henry II: It's only for the holidays.

Eleanor: You don't dare go!

Henry II: Say that again at noon, you'll say it to my horse's ass! Lamb, I'll be rid of you by Easter: you can count your reign in days!

Henry II: We're in the cellar and you're going back to prison and my life is wasted and we've lost each other... and you're smiling.

Eleanor: It's the way I register despair. There's everything in life but hope.

Henry II: We're both alive... and for all I know that's what hope is.

Eleanor: Henry's bed is Henry's province. He can people it with sheep for all I care, which on occasion he has done.

Henry II: Rosamund's been dead for seven years...

Eleanor: ...two months and eighteen days. I never liked her much.

Henry II: You count the days?

Eleanor: I made the numbers up.

Eleanor: And that's to be the king.

Prince Geoffrey: And I'm to be his Chancellor. Has he told you? John will rule the country, while I run it. That is to say he gets to spend the taxes that I raise.

Eleanor: How nice for you.

Prince Geoffrey: It's not as nice as being king.

Henry II: We've made you Duke of Brittany, is that so little?

Prince Geoffrey: No one ever thinks of crown and mentions Geoff, why is that?

Henry II: Isn't being chancellor power enough?

Prince Geoffrey: It's not the power I feel deprived of; it's the mention I miss. There's no affection for me here; you wouldn't think I'd want that, would you?

Eleanor: [to her husband, Henry II] I wonder... do you ever wonder... if I slept with your father.

Eleanor: Her eyes in certain light were violet, and all her teeth were even. That's a rare, fair feature: even teeth. She smiled to excess, but she chewed with real distinction.

Eleanor: We're jungle creatures, Henry, and the dark is all around us. See them? In the corners, you can see the eyes.

Henry II: I have an offer for you, my dear.

Eleanor: A deal? A deal? I give the richest province on the continent to John for what? You tell me, mastermind, for what?

Henry II: Your freedom.

Eleanor: [softly] Oh.

Henry II: Once Johnny gets the Aquitaine, you're free, I'll let you out. Think. On the loose in London, winters in Provence, impromptu trips to visit Richard anywhere he's killing people. All that for a signature.

Eleanor: If you're broken it's because you're brittle... I've lost you, and I can't ever have you back.

Eleanor: [to John] Hush dear, mother's fighting.

Eleanor: Oh Henry, we mangled every thing we touch.

Eleanor: I adored you.

Henry II: Never!

Eleanor: I still do.

Eleanor: You look fit. War agrees with you. I keep informed; I follow all your slaughters from a distance. Do sit down.

Prince Richard: Is this an audience... a good night hug with kisses... or an ambush?

Eleanor: Let's hope it's a reunion.

Eleanor: [to Alais] You'll make a lovely bride, I wonder if I'll cry.

Prince John: [rushing in] What's wrong? What's happened?

Eleanor: Richard's getting married.

Prince John: Getting married? Now? He's getting married *now*?

Eleanor: I never cease to marvel at the quickness of your mind.

Eleanor: [to the king] If you're broken it's because you're fragile.

Henry II: Geoffrey: There's a masterpiece. He isn't flesh: he's a device. He's wheels and gears. And Johnny: Was his latest treason your idea? I've caught him lying, and I've said, 'he's young.' I've found him cheating, and I've said, 'he's just a boy.' I've watched him steal and whore and whip his servants, and he's not a child; he's the man we made him.

Eleanor: Don't share John with me. He's your accomplishment.

Henry II: And Richard's yours. How could you send him off to deal with Philip?

Eleanor: I was tired. I was busy. They were friends.

Henry II: Eleanor, he was the best, and from the cradle on you cradled him. I never had a chance.

Eleanor: Well, that's the way deals are made. We've got him if we want him. He'll sell us all, you know... but only if he thinks we think he won't.

Eleanor: You're not an assassin.

Prince Richard: Look again.

Prince John: I thought I'd come and gloat a little.

Eleanor: Mother's tired. Come stick pins tomorrow morning; I'll be more responsive.

Prince John: It's no fun goading anyone tonight.

Eleanor: I am locked up with my sons. What mother does not dream of that?

Eleanor: [to Richard] Love me, little lamb, or leave me.

Eleanor: we must remind ourselves that these kings and queens or whatever are no better than us. They are just people.

Brian: Listen, I'm sorry I called you a bitch.

Eleanor: Why? I am a bitch.

Rhonda: Wait up, Sam.

Fiona: You take one more step and you're fired!

Rhonda: Oh, no. That won't be necessary because I quit too. And you know what? The only reason why I stayed around and put up with you for all those years is because of that girl. And now that she's free of you, there is nothing stopping me from kicking your butt.

Fiona: [freaks out] Oh, come on, no. Not my face. It's much newer than the girls. Go for the girls!

Sam: [talks Rhonda out of it] Rhonda? Rhonda! She's not even worth it.

Rhonda: [jumps her face at Fiona] Mmph!

Fiona: [screams] Aaaah!

Rhonda: You're right.

Eleanor: You know what? I quit too.

Bobby: Me too! Hey, Rhonda and Eleanor, hold up. I need a ride. See ya!

[the staff all finally walk out permanently with the customers following suit]

Man with plate of food: [to a disgraced Fiona] Send me a bill.

Eleanor: All we'd have to figure out is how long we've been together. And... what your name is.

Louie Kritski: I need to use your bathroom.

Eleanor: No!

Louie Kritski: What am I supposed to do, shit outside?

Eleanor: Lincoln did.

Louie Kritski: You want your electricity fixed? Move. Check into the fucking Plaza, just gimmie the rent Lady!

Eleanor: Look at my boy. How's he supposed to do his schoolwork at night? By candle light?

Louie Kritski: Lincoln did. Hey maybe he'll grown up to be president, what the fuck do I know? Just gimmie the rent!

Eleanor: How is my boy supposed to do his schoolwork at night? By candle light?

Louie Kritski: Lincoln did. Maybe he'll grow up to be president, what the fuck do I know?

Eleanor: I wish a man would marry me so I could wear a decent hat.

Shemp 'Shempy': That's the best reason for getting married I ever heard.

Eleanor: Oh, I want to go to the bachelor dinner.

Shemp 'Shempy': Can you do a fan dance?

Eleanor: I invented the fan dance.

Shemp 'Shempy': I saw one with electric fans once, it was awful

Eleanor: I wish I were a man.

Shemp 'Shempy': Were, or had?

Mary Clay: Just look at those cornflowers... When I was a kid, I said I wanted to be married in a cornflower dress. Dill remembered. Married in hundreds of cornflowers. What a perfect wedding.

Eleanor: It's a matter of taste. I'd just soon be married in alcohol.

Aunt Paula: Eleanor!

Eleanor: Oh, now, don't worry, Paula. I'll be so old they'll have to pickle me in something!

Eleanor: She worries more about something to worry about than she worries about an actual worry.

Eleanor: I'm bisexual.

Frankie: That's all right. So am I. I'm not really. I just thought I should say that.

Eleanor: Once upon a time, I was born. It is still a fact that the day you are born is the day you are most likely to be murdered. More human souls are killed by mothers' hands, than by the hands of strangers. My mother tried to murder me, but love confounded her.

[first lines]

Eleanor: My story can never be told. I write it over and over, wherever we find shelter. I write of what I cannot speak: the truth. I write all I know of it, then I throw the pages to the wind. Maybe the birds can read it.

[last lines]

Eleanor: I am Eleanor Webb. I throw my story to the wind, and never will I tell it more. Another one begins.

Eleanor: I remember everything. It's a burden.

Frank: My mum said you came to see me when I was in hospital. She um... She thinks that... That you're my girl. Would that be so bad. Because I...

Eleanor: It would be fatal.

Frank: Look... I know - I know I'm ill and all, but...

Eleanor: No. For me.

Eleanor: My mother did three things for me. One, she spared my life the day that I was born. Two, she paid for my upkeep on her knees and on her back. And three, she gave me the story I can never tell.

Frank: I'm afraid.

Eleanor: Don't be.

Eleanor: [to Sean] Is Mr. Reincarnation enjoying his cake?

Eleanor: You know? I never really liked Sean.

Eleanor: How do you know what you know?

Young Sean: I'm Sean!

Eleanor: What was the name of that piece you wrote for the recital?

Reggie: Like Sunday, Like Rain.

Eleanor: So beautiful.

Reggie: I'll write a part for the cornet.

Reggie: It does work. If you belong together with someone, then it works. Trouble is finding someone you belong with. Belongs with you. Do you think you will ever see him again?

Eleanor: No, someone doesn't treat you the way you deserve, then they don't deserve to have you.

Reggie: I wonder if anyone will ever love me?

Eleanor: I think the odds are pretty good.

Reggie: You have a gift, and you have an obligation to take care of it.

Eleanor: What are you *talking* about? For all you know, I could be the worst cornet player in the whole world.

Reggie: I don't think so. I don't think you'd have been chosen for that all star band if that were the case. And you certainly wouldn't have gotten into Julliard. It's a crime to deprive the world of your art.

Eleanor: I thought you said art was dead.

Reggie: Yes, and it will remain that way if all the great artists abandon their cornets and move to Idaho... Just promise me you'll come back to it. Promise me you'll come back to your music.

Eleanor: I will if you will.

Reggie: Deal.

Reggie: I guess right around 4 I figured out I was sort of a math prodigy, solving pretty intricate math problems.

Eleanor: Like What.

Reggie: Multiplying 7 to 10 digit numbers in my head. I could give you the cube root of pretty much any number.

Eleanor: Like Rainman.

Reggie: No, he was an autistic savant. As you can tell, I'm alert, extroverted, affable and articulate...

Eleanor: Of course.

Reggie: ...and not to mention devilishly handsome.

Eleanor: Not to mention.

Reggie: What made you leave; your whole family's here?

Eleanor: I think you just answered your own question... I wanted to go to Julliard.

Reggie: To be an actress?

Eleanor: No. God no. For music.

Reggie: For music?

Eleanor: Yeah, I play the cornet.

Eleanor: Fifty-two bucks for a spinach salad?

Reggie: It's a heck of a salad, trust me. Everything here is top notch. I usually order the wild mushroom risotto. Get whatever you like. I got this. We have an account here.

Eleanor: I guess just the garden salad.

Reggie: That's all? Eat! This guy's a world class chef.

Eleanor: What are we supposed to do for the next 6 weeks?

Reggie: This is New York City kid. There's never a loss for things to do here, trust me.

Eleanor: I just seems wrong, you're supposed to be in that camp.

Reggie: Camp Pinnacle is not an option for me, OK? It never was. Now let's not refer to camp any more.

Reggie: [Eleanor getting obnoxious texts from Dennis] Another thing about Gerard, he used to work for John Gotti.

Eleanor: Who?

Reggie: Gerard, my driver, he used to be a soldier for Gotti.

Eleanor: Mmmm, is that so?

Reggie: He may still have some ties to some of those folks. I was thinking he might be of some assistance.

Eleanor: With What?

Reggie: Your situation.

Eleanor: I don't follow.

Reggie: Your situation with your boyfriend.

Eleanor: Oh my God!

Reggie: He won't be an issue in your life after that, trust me.

Eleanor: Are you outta your mind?

Reggie: It used to be his job.

[restraining a smile]

Eleanor: Would you just drop the subject please.

Reggie: He could just go and have a little talk with him.

Eleanor: I appreciate your concern and all.

Reggie: It's just a suggestion.

Eleanor: I told you not to worry about any of that... Jesus!

Sylvia: Sounds like a great setup. I can't believe how fast it all happened.

Eleanor: That's what kinda scares me about the whole thing. I talked to the mother for about 10 minutes before she hires me to take care of their 12 year old son. Next thing I know I'm living there.

Sylvia: You totally lucked out. I mean, what's the big deal?

Eleanor: They're like gazillionaires. The house is the size of Grand Central. And what do I know about taking care of a 12 year old boy?

Sylvia: Free room and board, plus you get paid, what more could you want? And besides, you lived with Dennis for a year, you should be fine with a 12 year old.

Eleanor: I'm doing a horrible job.

Reggie: What are you talking about, you're doing a great job.

Eleanor: No. I don't want you to know about the stuff.

Reggie: What stuff?

Eleanor: My stuff, the sordid details of my breakups, the stuff that happens in my personal life. We don't know each other that well, and you're to young to understand.

Reggie: Don't be too sure about that, I have a great deal of understanding.

Eleanor: God.

Reggie: Well beyond my years.

Reggie: It's been really nice getting to know you.

Eleanor: You too.

Reggie: It's hard to believe it's only been a couple of months, I feel like I've known you -

[pauses]

Reggie: I have all these words, these things, things I feel the need to say to you. Only now, suddenly I don't have the capacity to speak.

Eleanor: I couldn't stay forever, you know? It was only supposed to be a temporary thing. It's okay.

[Eleanor drops to her knees and they embrace]

Eleanor: I just don't want you to worry about it, or think about it. Okay?

Reggie: Okay. I won't worry about it. I'm not worried about it.

Eleanor: Good.

Reggie: But I can't guarantee I won't think about it. It's what I do. I think about things. It's my nature.

Eleanor: Fine. You can think.

Reggie: The prospect of ending up a bitter and lonely drunk doesn't quite appeal to me.

Eleanor: Okay.

Reggie: And not to mention the fact that art, as a language, is dead. It doesn't matter what you have to say or how well you might be able to say it. Dead.

Eleanor: Kind of a bleak view.

Reggie: Yes, it is.

David 'Ashley' Planner: I apparently went too far, but nobody wants to consider the fact that maybe they came too close.

Eleanor: I'll post your bail.

David 'Ashley' Planner: It's the least you could do, you being one of them.

Eleanor: It'll be us someday. You go and meet Immaculada. And some day, it'll be us. Us'll be you and me.

Eleanor: Now you can't buy anything with your money. Hahahahahaha!

Oswald (Eleanor's husband): I'm used to getting nothing for my money, especially where women are concerned.