Elderly Woman Quotes in Happy Gilmore (1996)

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Elderly Woman Quotes:

  • Nursing Home Orderly: Good news, everybody, we're extending arts and crafts time by four hours today.

    Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.

    Nursing Home Orderly: What's that?

    Elderly Woman: My fingers hurt.

    Nursing Home Orderly: Oh, well, now your back's gonna hurt, 'cause you just pulled landscaping duty. Anybody else's fingers hurt?... I didn't think so.

  • Bart: Mornin', ma'am. And isn't it a lovely mornin'?

    Elderly Woman: Up yours, nigger.

  • Bart: Mongo was easy. The bitch was inventing the candy-gram. Probably won't even give me credit for it.

    [a knock at the window; Bart gets up and sees the same woman who insulted him earlier]

    Elderly Woman: Good evening, Sheriff. Sorry about the "Up yours, nigger". I hope this apple pie will in some small way say thank you for your ingenuity and courage in defeating that horrible Mongo.

    Bart: Well, uh... thank you, much obliged. Good night.

    [Bart closes the window and smells the pie... but returns to the window when he hears another knock]

    Elderly Woman: Of course, you'll have the good taste not to mention that I spoke to you.

    Bart: Of course.

    Elderly Woman: Thank you.

  • Elderly Woman: [Looks to camera as she is beaten by two thugs] Have you ever seen such cruelty?

  • [With the help of Nikki Downing driving the passenger stairs truck in front of the airplane bound for Buenos Aries, Harry crashes through the door and enter the aircraft]

    Elderly Woman: Who is that?

    Harry Crumb: Crumb, Harry Crumb.

    [walks toward Helen and Vince]

    Harry Crumb: And I hereby charge these two miscreants with the kidnapping of one Jennifer Downing.

    Vince Barnes: [pulls out a gun on Harry] You must be crazy, Crumb.

    Harry Crumb: Crazy? Crazy like a fox. I must warn you, Vince Barnes, I have a black belt in Aikido...

    [Harry uses karate moves and kiai to intimidate Vince, who is hesitant to shoot him]

    Helen Downing: [to Vince] For chrissake, just shoot him!

    [Harry kicks off his first boot at a distracted Vince, knocking his gun away, then the second one which knocks him out cold. Helen, defeated, could only watch]

    Harry Crumb: ...and the boots to match.

Browse more character quotes from Happy Gilmore (1996)

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