Elaine Miller Quotes in Almost Famous (2000)


Elaine Miller Quotes:

  • Russell Hammond: [Russell grabs phone away from William] Hey, mom! It's Russell Hammond. I play guitar in Stillwater. Hey, how does it feel to be the mother of the greatest rock journalist we've met? Hello? Hello...? Look, you've got a really great kid here. There's nothing to worry about. We're taking good care of him, and you should come to the show sometime - join the circus...

    Elaine Miller: Hey, hey, listen to me, mister. You're charm doen't work on me - I'm on to you. Of course you like him...

    Russell Hammond: Well, yeah...

    Elaine Miller: He worships you people. And that's fine by you as long as he helps make you rich.

    Russell Hammond: Rich? I don't think so...

    Elaine Miller: Listen to me. He's a smart, good-hearted fifteen year old kid with infinite potential.

    Russell Hammond: [Russell is stunned]

    Elaine Miller: This is not some apron-wearing mother you're speaking with - I know all about your valhalla of decadence and I shouldn't have let him go. He's not ready for your world of compromised values and diminished brain cells that you throw away like confetti. Am I speaking to you clearly?

    Russell Hammond: Yes - yes, ma'am...

    Elaine Miller: If you break his spirit, harm him in any way, keep him from his chosen profession which is law - something you may not value, but I do - you will meet the voice on the other end of this telephone and it will not be pretty. Do we understand each other?

    Russell Hammond: Uh, yes, ma'am...

    Elaine Miller: I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance, Russell. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke.

    [Elaine hangs up]

    Russell Hammond: [Russell stands holding phone in stunned silence]

  • Anita Miller: FECK YOU!

    Elaine Miller: HEY!

    Anita Miller: This is a house of lies!

    Elaine Miller: Well there it is, your sister used the "F" word.

    Young William: I think she said "feck."

    Elaine Miller: What's the difference?

    Young William: The letter "u."

  • Elaine Miller: May I speak with William, please?

    Sapphire: He's not here. He's down in the bar with the band. They just got back from the radio station. Is this Maryann with the pot?... Hello?

    Elaine Miller: No, this is not Maryann with the pot. This is Elaine. His mother. Could you please give him a message for me? Could you tell him to call home immediately? And could you also tell him - I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON.

    Sapphire: All right. But I'm just going to say this, and I'm going to stand by it: you should be really proud of him. 'Cause I know men, and I'll bet you do too. And he respects women, and he likes women, and let's just pause and appreciate a man like that. I mean, you created him out of thin air, and you raised him right, he's having a great time, he's doing a good job, and don't worry - he's still a virgin. And we're all looking out for him. And that's more than I've ever even said to my own parents, so there you go... This is the maid speaking, by the way.

  • Elaine Miller: [in the middle of a class lecture] Rock stars have kidnapped my son!

  • Elaine Miller: [to William] Your Dad was so proud of you. He knew you were a predominantly accelerated child.

    Anita Miller: What about me?

    Elaine Miller: You are rebellious and ungrateful of my love.

  • Elaine Miller: Look at this: an entire generation of Cinderellas and there's no glass slipper.

  • Anita Miller: First it was butter then it was sugar and white flour, bacon, eggs, balogna, rock 'n roll, motorcycles. Then! It was celebrating Christmas on a day in September when you knew it wouldn't be commercialized! What else are you gonna ban?

    Elaine Miller: Honey, you want to rebel against knowledge, I'm trying to give you the cliffnotes on how to live life in this world.

    Anita Miller: We're like nobody else I know!

    Elaine Miller: I am a college professor. Why can't I teach my own kids? Use me!

    Anita Miller: Darryl says that you use knowledge to keep me down. He says that I'm a "Yes" person and you are trying to raise us in a "No" environment.

    Elaine Miller: Well, clearly "No" is a word Darryl doesn't hear much.

    Anita Miller: I can't live here! I hate you! Even William hates you!

    Young William: I don't hate her.

    Anita Miller: You do hate her! You don't even know the truth.

    Elaine Miller: Dramaqueen.

    Anita Miller: Feck you!

    Elaine Miller: Hey!

    Anita Miller: This is a house of lies!

  • Elaine Miller: Rock stars have kidnapped my son!

  • Anita Miller: All the kids make fun of him. They call him the Narc behind his back.

    Elaine Miller: What's a narc?

    Anita Miller: It's a narcotics officer.

    Elaine Miller: Well, what's wrong with THAT?

  • Anita Miller: It's unfair that we can't listen to our music!

    Elaine Miller: That's because it's music about drugs and promiscuous sex.

    Anita Miller: Simon and Garfunkel is poetry!

    Elaine Miller: Yes it's poetry. It's poetry of drugs and promiscuous sex. Honey, they're on pot.

  • Elaine Miller: [teaching] In Carl Jung's opinion, we all have a sixth sense - intuition. When you meet someone and you suddenly feel like you can't live without them. This could be the memory of a past love from the collective unconscious. Or it could just be hormones.

  • Elaine Miller: Adolescence is a marketing tool.

  • Elaine Miller: Keep the small bills on the outside and call me if anyone gets drunk.

    William Miller: I will call you if anyone *anywhere* gets drunk.

  • [first lines]

    Elaine Miller: I can't believe you wanna be Atticus Finch. Oh, that makes me feel so good.

    Young William: I like him.

  • Elaine Miller: You've been kissing!

  • Elaine Miller: Don't take drugs!

  • Young William: Mom, tell me more about Livia.

    Elaine Miller: She killed everybody so her son Tiberius could inherit the throne - just like Nixon.

Browse more character quotes from Almost Famous (2000)