Elaine Dickinson Quotes in Airplane! (1980)

Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.

Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?

Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?

Elaine Dickinson: Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.

Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.

Elaine Dickinson: Would you like something to read?

Hanging Lady: Do you have anything light?

Elaine Dickinson: How about this leaflet, "Famous Jewish Sports Legends?"

Elaine Dickinson: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your stewardess speaking... We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused, this is due to periodic air pockets we encountered, there's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight... By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?

[all hell breaks loose in the cabin]

Ted Striker: Because of my mistake, six men didn't return from that raid.

Elaine Dickinson: Seven. Lieutenant Zip died this morning.

Elaine Dickinson: You got a letter from headquarters this morning.

Ted Striker: What is it?

Elaine Dickinson: It's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important.

[Elaine is relaying what Ted is saying to Kramer]

Ted Striker: It's a damn good thing he doesn't know how much I hate his guts.

Elaine Dickinson: It's a damn good thing you don't know how much he hates your guts.

Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.

Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?

Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.

Rumack: Elaine, you're a member of this crew. Can you face some unpleasant facts?

Elaine Dickinson: No.

Rex Kramer: [points out the window] There he is. Striker, you're coming in too fast!

Ted Striker: I know, I know!

Elaine Dickinson: [relaying] He knows, he knows.

Elaine Dickinson: [Cutting room-floor scene: Flight #209 has gone into yet another nose dive] ... Ted, the altitude! We're falling, Ted! We're falling! *The mountains, Ted! The mountains!*

Ted Striker: What *mountains?* We're over IOWA!

Elaine Dickinson: The... THE CORNFIELDS, TED! THE CORNFIELDS!

[with Randy's help, and as Dr. Rumack looks on, Ted is attempting to figure out how the controls of Flight 209 work]

Elaine Dickinson: Ted! What are you doing here? *You* can't fly this plane!

Ted Striker: That's what I'm trying to *tell* these people!

Simon: Just a few more hours and change 'til liftoff.

Elaine Dickinson: I'm very excited, Simon.

Simon: Guess this is a first for you, eh kid?

Elaine Dickinson: No, I've been excited before.

Elaine Dickinson: [speaking into handset] Hello, this is the Mayflower. Come in. Anyone?

Steve McCroskey: Okay okay. Now we're making some headway.

[responds into handset]

Steve McCroskey: Yeah yeah, we read you Mayflower. Identify yourself.

Elaine Dickinson: Well, this is Elaine Dickinson. I'm 5-foot-8, 123 pounds. I have, uh, brown hair, blue eyes. I enjoy surfing, backgammon and men who aren't afraid to cry.

ROC: Voice interface.

Elaine Dickinson: There's an overheat in the core. Please analyze problem.

ROC: There is no apparent overheat.

Elaine Dickinson: Yes, there is, ROC. We read a core overheat. Repeat analysis.

ROC: Analysis confirmed. All systems compute positive.

Elaine Dickinson: Well, not from where I'm sitting, they don't!

ROC: Look, Elaine. Cut the "not from where I'm sitting" shit. It must be a human error.

[Elaine turns to the captain]

Elaine Dickinson: Captain, I think we have a computer foul-up!

Capt. Oveur: I see.

Elaine Dickinson: Well, what do you recommend, Captain?

Capt. Oveur: Maybe you'd better run it through the computer.

Elaine Dickinson: But sir, I already have!

Capt. Oveur: Good!

Striker: We're going to have to blow up the computer!

Elaine Dickinson: Blow ROC?

[a smiling face appears on the computer]

Elaine Dickinson: Ted, I have the strangest feeling we've been through this exact same thing before.

Elaine Dickinson: I'm gonna go get Ted, just don't fall apart on me now!

Simon: My God! The sun.

Elaine Dickinson: What is it, Simon?

Simon: A large, fiery ball at the center of our solar system, but that's not important now. We're heading right for it.

Nurse: Excuse me, ma'am. There's some, pretty badly banged up, people back there. I'm gonna need some fresh sheets, guaze, Q-Tips, and all the vasoline you have on board.

Elaine Dickinson: Ted, Please.

Nurse: Right now!

Injured Man: Are you, the nurse?

Nurse: Yes, take this. The washroom's, just right down there, on the right.