Elaine Quotes in 48 Hrs. (1982)

Elaine: You know, if you let me come over to your place once in a while you could put on a clean shirt in the morning.

Jack: What makes you think I got any clean shirts in my place?

Elaine: According to my source, the end of the world will be on February 14th, in the year two thousand and sixteen.

Peter Venkman: Valentine's Day. Bummer. Where'd you get your date, Elaine?

Elaine: I received this information from an alien. As I told my husband, it was in the Paramus Holiday Inn, I was having a drink at the bar, alone, and this alien approached me. He started talking to me. He bought me a drink, and then I think he must have used some kind of a ray or a mind control device because he forced me to follow him to his room and that's where he told me about the end of the world.

Peter Venkman: So your alien had a room at the Holiday Inn, Paramus?

Elaine: It could have been a room on the spaceship made to look like the hotel. I can't be sure about that, Peter.

Ira: [Talking about Zolo] Your little sister took the wrong road. Oh, and that "third party" that I told you about... he's tagging along.

Elaine: The man who killed my husband?

Ira: The butcher who killed your husband! A very powerful man with his own private army to back him up. And whether he calls himself Dr. Zolo, Minister of Antiquities, or Colonel Zolo, Deputy Commander of the Secret Police, he's still just a butcher!

[last lines]

Elaine: Jarrod?

Elaine: What... What is it?

Jarrod: They're not dead. They're just really, really pissed off.

Elaine: Jarrod, what are you doing?

Jarrod: The only thing we can do. Making a run for it!

Oliver: What's this really about?

Jarrod: Those things are coming for us!

Oliver: You think I haven't noticed that? You think I haven't noticed that mess under your shirt? The plan is we stay here and hold up... for good!

Elaine: I agree!

Jarrod: You're going to let him decide everything? Look around you! We have no power. No more running water.

Elaine: Yeah, but you saw what is out there! We will not get 100 yards from this building!

Jarrod: Yeah, and I would rather take a stupid chance out there trying to make a run for it then staying up here in a 20-story target! Between those things and the radiation, we are dead up here!

[the group watches the helicopter take off after landing soldiers on the roof of the building next door]

Candice: Where are they going?

Jarrod: [to Elaine] Those choppers are coming back for them. We have to go up to the roof and get rescued. We're gonna get out of here.

Elaine: What if they don't come back? Look what happened to all those planes! What good is it trying to get away in a helicopter? We'll never make it with those things in the air!

Jarrod: I don't care! We need to take a chance!

Oliver: A chance? They just nuked a city! And you want to wave hello?

Jarrod: I'm not kidding anymore, Oliver. You need to back off!

Oliver: You're in no condition to decide anything and who knows what side you're on? If you go out there and try to run those things will see you and you'll be dead!

Jarrod: [getting more belligerent] I told you to back off! Don't make me hurt you!

[first lines]

Elaine: [a bright blue light shines through the blinds and the bed shakes] Oh, how's it morning already?

Elaine: I hate L.A.

Oliver: [to Jarrod] All right, I'll bite. What's your plan now, boss man? Because I'm dying for you to tell me.

[pause]

Oliver: What? Nothing to say?

Jarrod: We're sitting on the marina for christ sakes!

Oliver: I've noticed it, man.

Jarrod: They're hundreds of boats at the docks...

Candice: We've been through all this!

Oliver: Remind us how that worked out last time.

Jarrod: [trying to think] Well... uh... we... we'll go quietly this time. We wait until... uh... it gets a little quiet then we'll go down the back stairs and uh...

Oliver: We tiptoe to the marina on foot... in broad daylight with little cover and search every boat until we find the right one with the key? Great plan!

Elaine: I can't believe you're suggesting this after what happened!

Jarrod: What are you saying? Are you saying that Terry's death was my fault?

Elaine: I was practically begging you not to go, but you and Terry wouldn't listen to me!

Jarrod: And if I had, do you really think Terry would have listened to me? Huh?

Det. Lt. Lon McQ: Elaine, I need $5000.

Elaine: I hope it's for a woman.

Diana 'T.N.T.' Jackson: Look, lady, or whoever you are, I accepted a ride from you to Joe's Haven. And that's all you need to know about me.

Elaine: Bitch.

Elaine: First of all, I'm not what you think I am.

Diana 'T.N.T.' Jackson: I know. You're a Girl Scout working on your badge for the equality of niggers.

Elaine: I'm a government agent.

Diana 'T.N.T.' Jackson: Oh yeah? Well, I'm Snow White suffering from a sunburn.

Diana 'T.N.T.' Jackson: Listen, honey, and you get it straight. I'm not in your league. I work standing up, not on my back.

Elaine: Really? How amusing. I've never really tried it that way.

Elaine: Do you think she knows that you're in the heroin business?

Elaine: [admiring Herbert Ellis's pecs] My, you are so much more muscular than our men.

Leigh Anne Touhy: [talking about the Tuohy's Christmas card photo with Michael in it]

Elaine: He looks so big compared to you like Jessica Lange right next to King Kong

[amidst chuckles]

Beth: Hey, does Michael get the family discount at Taco Bell? 'Cause if he does Sean is gonna lose a few stores.

Leigh Anne Touhy: He's a good kid.

Elaine: Well, I say you make it official and just adopt him

[laughs]

Leigh Anne Touhy: He's going to be eighteen in a few months it doesn't make much sense to legally adopt.

[they all stare at her]

Sherry: Leigh Ann, is this some sort of white guilt thing?

Elaine: What would your Daddy say?

Leigh Anne Touhy: Um... before or after he turns around in his grave? Daddy's been gone five years Elaine. Make matters worse you were at the funeral, remember? You were wearing Chanel and that awful black hat? Look, here's the deal, I don't need y'all to approve my choices alright, but I do ask that you respect them. You have no idea what this boy has been through and if this becomes some running diatribe, I can find overpriced salad a lot closer to home.

Sherry: Leigh Ann, I'm so sorry, we didn't mean to...

Elaine: No, we didn't really.

Beth: I think what you are doing is so great. Opening up your home to him... honey, you are changing that boy's life.

Leigh Anne Touhy: No, he's changing mine.

Elaine: [snidely] And that's great for you. But, seriously, Leigh Ann, aren't you worried for Collins? I mean, she's a beautiful white girl, and he's a big, black boy.

Leigh Anne Touhy: Shame on you.

[gets up]

Leigh Anne Touhy: I'm getting this.

[she leaves]

[last lines]

Mrs. Robinson: Elaine, it's too late!

Elaine: Not for me!

Elaine: Good night.

Benjamin: Are we getting married tomorrow?

Elaine: No...

Benjamin: Day after tomorrow?

Elaine: I don't know. Maybe we are, and maybe we're not.

Elaine: Benjamin, I would like to know what you're doing here.

Benjamin: Here? In Berkeley?

Elaine: Yes.

Benjamin: Well, I have this very pleasant room on Carter Street, and I've been getting to some classes.

Elaine: But you're not enrolled.

Benjamin: No, I just sit in. They don't seem to mind. They've been very congenial about it.

Elaine: [annoyed] Benjamin, you're... I don't know what to say.

Benjamin: [nonchalantly] Maybe we can get together sometime and talk about it.

Elaine: [exasperated] Really incredible.

Mrs. Robinson: Benjamin, I thought I made myself perfectly clear about this...

Benjamin: Look, I have no intention of taking your precious daughter out again in her life, so don't get upset about it!

Mrs. Robinson: I am. I'm *extremely* upset about it, Benjamin.

Elaine: [Mr. Robinson comes in with Elaine next to him] Hello.

Benjamin: Hello.

Mr. Robinson: [playfully giving advice to Elaine about Benjamin] Well, I want you to keep your wits about you tonight. You never know what *tricks* Ben picked up back there in the east. Heh heh...

Elaine: Would you gentlemen care to order your dinners?

First Jive Dude: Bet, babe. Slide a piece o' da' porter. Drinks, I run da' java.

[Subtitle: I'LL HAVE THE STEAK]

Second Jive Dude: Lookie here. I can dig grease 'n chompin' on some buns and draggin' through the garden.

[Subtitle: I'LL HAVE THE FISH]

Elaine: It takes so many things to make love last. But most of all, it takes respect, and I can't live with a man I don't respect.

Ted Striker: [turns towards the camera] What a pisser!

Elaine: According to the experts, men are very fragile. They can get crushed down if you assert yourself in any way.

Elaine: Tampons aren't gross. Women bleed and that's a beautiful thing. Do you know that most men have never even seen a used tampon?

Elaine: I've got 2 words: perfect love and perfect trust.

Elaine: You're going to be a father.

Oscar: I'm pregnant?

Elaine: No. I'm pregnant.

Oscar: You're pregnant too?

Elaine: [From Here To Eternity spoof, Elaine and Richard on the beach] What is this strange animal thing you have? lt bothers me. lt's bothered me since the first time l saw you. And it'll bother me always, from here to eternity.

Richard Sherman: You must fight it, Elaine. Remember, l belong to another!

Elaine: Richard!

Richard Sherman: [Running off into the surf] This can never be. l have a devoted, trusting wife at home, and a freckle-faced little space cadet.

Elaine: Richard!

Elaine: Viktor, you realize you're nostalgic for an era you weren't even born in?

Viktor: Do you know why I, Viktor Taransky, two-time Academy Award nominated director...

Elaine: Viktor, that was short subjects.

Viktor: ...overseeing the most cherished movie project of my entire career, am walking around with - look, look, look - pockets full of these... things?

Elaine: Well, I have a feeling you're gonna tell me.

Viktor: I'm gonna tell ya why. Because Miss Nicola Anders, supermodel with a SAG card, has it written in her contract that all cherry Mike and Ike's be removed from her candy dish, along with strict instructions that any room she walks into must have seven packs of cigarettes waiting for her, three of them open. That there be a personal Jacuzzi within eighty paces of her dressing room, and that any time she travels, her nanny must fly with her, first class.

Elaine: So? What's wrong with that?

Viktor: Elaine, she doesn't have children.

Viktor: I made her.

Elaine: No, Viktor. She made YOU.

Elaine: Why stop at one character when you can do a whole cast?

Elaine: I do the best I can, honey. I know it's not enough, and I'm sorry. But that's what you get in life, you know? You get whoever you end up with. Whoever is willing to stick by you, and fight for you, when everyone else is gone. And it ain't always who you expect. But you just have to make do.

Holly: [while Abe munches on his cob of corn] See this is her old problem. She creates a situation where she gets this rejection that everyone else sees coming.

Robin: She just wasn't being honest.

Holly: Well, I think it's a black thing too.

Elaine: [more shocked] Jane is black?

Abe: [mouth full of corn from his cob] Yes, Ma'am. She sure is.

Robin: And you can't live a lie. You just can't.

Holly: [glancing at Abe] Well, there's lying and then there's... just not telling.

[Munching on his cob of corn, Abe glances up at her]

Robin: Big diff.

Elaine: She's a black Lesbian?

Abe: [mouth full of corn from his cob] Yes, Ma'am. That is right.

Elaine: [looking at Robin] And she was living here? With you?

Holly: No, no, no no, no no. She was just living here. They weren't like fucking or anything.

[Elaine gasps; Robin rolls her eyes. Abe laughs, nearly choking on his corn]

Holly: [seeing Robin's expression and reconsidering] Were you?

Elaine: [shocked] Were you?

Abe: [eager] Were you?

Robin: [indignantly disregarding them] Ah - I'll get the coffee.

Jane: [Elaine is crying at Robin's bedside, the nurse thinks her sniffles are relative to a cold, and tells her she could aggravate her daughter's condition] It's not a goddamn cold! Don't be such a hoo-hoo.

Nurse: [apathetic] And what's a hoo-hoo?

Elaine: [kindly] It's a cunt, dear.

[nurse gasps]

Elaine: Now why don't you leave us alone?

Holly: Anyway, uhm... Jane called me at work, wanted to know how you are.

Robin: I'm fine.

Elaine: Who's Jane?

Abe: [mouth full of corn from his cob] Jane used to live here up until a few days ago.

Robin: You stay out of this, Holly. It's between me and Jane.

Holly: Well, she asked for my advice, so I told her she's anti-Lesbian.

Robin: I am not.

Elaine: [shocked] Who's a Lesbian?

Robin: Jane is.

Elaine: [shocked] And she was living here?

Abe: Yes, Ma'am.

Robin: [indignant] I am not 'anti-Lesbian'!

Holly: Not you, her.

Elaine: Who?

Robin: Jane.

Elaine: [referring to Holly and Abe] So what? She still should grab him. Believe me I know what she's gonna have to go through. You know, I'm a feminist too. I was a single mother after your father left. You think that was easy? I even voted for Carter twice. But you can't fight nature. God knows, you girls keep trying. Treating your men like side dishes. Stick a fork in when needed-just like men used to treat us.

Elaine: [Elaine undresses] Give it a whirl, Abe.

George: Well, I like, I want to, I want to...

Elaine: You want to say something to me?

George: Yes, I do and I want to be completely honest and get this off your chest. I mine, get this off your breast. I mean, my breast. Get this, off my chest.

Elaine: Give it a try.

George: Eddie, lemmie kiss Elaine goodbye...

Eddie Dash: [whispering] Nah, shhhh! You'll wake her up!

George: [whispering] just one kiss, I won't wake her up.

[Bends down, kisses Elaine's forehead. Elaine slightly stirs, then goes back to sleep]

George: . Oh, look at her, isn't she cute?

Eddie Dash: Shhh! come on let's go!

[hands George something]

George: What is this?

Eddie Dash: Shhhh! This is your gun!

[hands George a large two-barreled shotgun]

George: Oh, I could never shoot a gu... yipe!

[George drops the shotgun which discharges, destroying a large vase]

Elaine: Gasp!

[Elaine, thinking she is under attack, rolls to the other side of the bed and onto the floor]

Elaine: HOLY SHIT!

[Elaine's head slowly appears at the side of the bed, nervously whispers]

Elaine: George? What happened, are you all right?

George: [whispers] Sorry, honey!

Eddie Dash: [gritting his teeth] Fuckin' lunatic!

George: Geez, I still can't get this guy to take a drink! By the way, Rupert, this is my best friend, Eddie.

Rupert Dibbs: Elaine!

Eddie Dash: No, Eddie.

Elaine: Rupert! What are you doing here?

Rupert Dibbs: Well, I had actually come to see you, but now that Abe is back, I actually need him to sign a few papers.

George: OK!

Rupert Dibbs: All right. Abe, if you would just...

George: You want my Abe Fielding on that?

Rupert Dibbs: Yes.

George: OK!

Rupert Dibbs: Sign here... and here.

Rupert Dibbs: [Elaine sits in Rupert's office, crying] Stop it. Please, will you stop it? I didn't say you didn't have some... limited acting ability.

Elaine: Limited acting ability? Listen bub, these are *real* tears here!

Rupert Dibbs: Regardless of your acting ability, he still left!

Elaine: Listen, you can't take some guy off the street and convince him to be Abe Fielding. I'm very technical...

Rupert Dibbs: [slams his hand down on the desk] That was not the job!

[Elaine gives Rupert an icy stare of contentment]

Rupert Dibbs: [Rupert takes a calmer tone] You're job was to entice them, hmm? To make them *want* to be Abe Fielding. But you've got these guys running away from you like the plague.

Elaine: I will not be handled! I told you that when I took the job, and it still goes, and if that's not the job... I don't want the position anyway!

Rupert Dibbs: OK, that's fine, that's fine Miss Mimi Kravitz! Professional actress!

Elaine: You know, you got a real effort for the jugular here...

Rupert Dibbs: I like the last one. A liar, a liar is perfect.

Elaine: No! Come on, that guy was kind of soft on me...

Rupert Dibbs: And why shouldn't he? You're a very beautiful woman.

Elaine: Thank you. But he'll never come back without his friend.

Rupert Dibbs: Don't worry about his friend. He's not going anywhere. His ass is mine for bail money.

Elaine: What happened?

Rupert Dibbs: I caught the schmuck stealing Abe's credit cards! He won't be a problem. Drink?

Elaine: Yeah, sure.

Elaine: What on earth have you got in that foolish-looking little bag?

George: My raincoat and rubbers.

George: [Elaine undresses] I have to, I have to...

Elaine: What?

George: I have to, I have to...

Elaine: What?

George: I have to, I have to...

Elaine: What!

George: I'm honor breast to tell you the titty whoth.

Elaine: Angela didn't forewarn you about her implants, did she?

George: Honest truth.

Elaine: Did you find out in bed? Or, did they rattle when you danced?

George: I want to know everything about you and I'd like you to know all about me, too. Because we might just find out that we have a heck of a lot in common.

Elaine: What? What? What could we have in common?

George: Basil! I love basil. You like basil, Elaine?

Elaine: It doesn't sweep me off my feet.

George: Alright, try this, my favorite color is brown, I subscribe to the Reader's Digest, I love yodeling, and my favorite food is wiener schnitzel mit rotkraut and kartoffel. You like wiener schnitzel mit rotkraut and kartoffel? You do! I-I-I hit a bone. I hit a nerve. I hit something. I can see it in your eyes. You like it too. I'm going to win you over, Elaine. You'll see. I'm going to romance you and I'll wine you and I'll dine you and one day you're going to feel about me, the way I feel about you.

Elaine: [whispers] He's an asshole.

Duff: Mmm... casserole.

Elaine: I said asshole.

Duff: I heard casserole!

[last lines]

Tobey: I just got married! Come on, that's legal! I was behind the...

Elaine: That's our car!

Tobey: Every time! Every time!

Rebecca: Do you think I should get Botox?

Elaine: Definitely.

Rebecca: Really?

Elaine: Uh-huh. If you want to lose me as your friend.

Rebecca: You're so strict.

Rebecca: I just can't bear to look at him. He's in that overly sweet, hangdog stage, where I could set him on fire and he'd thank me for it.

Elaine: It's not a bad idea.

Peter: You vwork?

Elaine: No. I wish I did... but there is a bit of a work problem in England at the moment.

Peter: You know, in Soviet Union if you don't work you don't eat.

Elaine: It's a bit like that here as well.

Elaine: How long are you in Liverpool for?

Peter: Ah, for just one day. Tomorrow - to Scotland, and after, home. To Soviet Union.

Elaine: What about all the food shortages?

Peter: There are no food shortages.

Elaine: But we read about it all the time in the papers about how you have to queue to buy food and all that.

Peter: We read the same about you. Queues are not caused by shortages, queues are forming because the person in charge of distribution is a cretin.

Peter: Hey, do you see that star?

Elaine: Which one? That big one just there?

Peter: Yea. The brightest one in the sky. It reminds me of my home. Every night from my bed, I look through my window and see it shining in the sky. And when I am away from Soviet Union, I look to the star and it makes me feel at home.

Elaine: Well, from now on, every time I see that star, it'll remind me of you.

Elaine: Is that all you have to say to me, I should have fucked him when I had the chance?

Teresa: You know what I'd do? I'd get a gorgeous photo of myself, lash it in an envelope, and I'd write a dead nice letter to that fellow... hey Vinny, what's his name?

Vinny: Who?

Teresa: The president of Russia.

Vinny: Brezhnev, isn't it?

Teresa: That's it.

Elaine: Teresa! Why didn't I think of that? Oh, I love you!

Teresa: Where are you going?

Elaine: To write a letter to Brezhnev!

Elaine: [writing letter, voice over] ... I just need to be with Peter again, he loves me, and I deeply love him, our love stretches over two continents. You're my last and only hope, the British authorities have done nothing to help me, so I leave my heart in your hands. I ask only to see him again and offer you the hand of friendship and sincerity from an ordinary Kirkby girl. Yours hopefully, Elaine Spencer.

Father: Who the fuck is this Peter anyway? We've never even met him yet.

Elaine: He's the man I love, the man I'm gonna marry. And if being with him means going to live in Russia, then that's the way it's gonna be.

Elaine: See that? These here are my tickets for freedom. These say I can get on a plane, get out of here and leave. These say I can leave, why can't you?

Mother: I've never put my foot down with you, girl. Never.

Elaine: Mum,I don't care what you say or how you are trying to bully me, but my mind's made up. I'm going and that's that. Sovwhy don't you just sit down, get your wool out and knit yourself an iron curtain?

Reporter: So, you're a communist then?

Elaine: No, I'm a human being. Communists aren't exactly the flavour of the month in England, are they?

Elaine: Look lad, what are you getting at?

Reporter: The truth.

Elaine: The truth is there was no filth or smut. We love each other.

Reporter: Yeah. I'm sure.

Elaine: But if you want me to make something up for you, you know, something to titillate your readers, something cheap and kinky...

Reporter: You see, I think your whole story is kinky, dear. Most people are trying to get out of Russia, not in.

Reporter: And you think that the president of the Soviet Union could possibly interested in your... dilemma?

Elaine: No, I don't. But at least he did write back to me and send me a plane ticket, which is more than the British embassy did, isn't it?

Elaine: You just take a walk and look in any back kitchen around here and you'll soon see food shortages. Look lad, going to live in Russia can't be any worse than living around here, so why are you trying to discourage me from escaping.

Charlie's Girlfriend: Hey - who the fuck are you giving your dirty looks to?

Elaine: [to Peter] Come on, shall we go?

Charlie's Girlfriend: You better had, love.

Teresa: And I think you'd better give your face back to the second hand shop you got it from.

Charlie's Girlfriend: Slut.

Teresa: I know I love it - like yourself.

Tracy: Is me mazzie smudged, is me hair up straight ?

Elaine: Tracy - you put a whole can of lacquer on that - it'd take a monsoon to shift that lot.

Elaine: I'd love to go to Russia. Where're you from? Moscow?

Peter: No. I'm from the south. It's a very small town, on the Black Sea.

Elaine: What's it like there? Is it nice?

Peter: Very beautiful. You know, people from all over Soviet Union go there in summer for... beach.

Elaine: For all I know you could have given that star to every girl you met. I could be sharing it with a load of broken hearts from Bournemouth to Bangkok. I'm not stupid, you know. I know what type of life sailors live.

Elaine: You've been to the moon. You've been there twice, haven't you, Tracy? You just don't see any good in people, do you?

Tracy: Not in communist Russians, I don't.

Elaine: I know how to get the money out of the money ball!

Louise: How?

Elaine: Suck!

Louise: Oh, I don't know, there's got to be some way we can make money.

Elaine: We can make porno films and all wear ski masks.

Jane: No, Robert and I got bombed out one night. We put a little "I love you" tattoo on my ankle.

Elaine: [to Jane] Ok, we'll wear masks, you wear socks.

Louise: Come on, let's get out of here.

Elaine: What do you think about a doggy bag for the butter?

Jane: I know we've only got two days to go, but I don't know why you guys are so mad at me. You know I can't afford a baby-sitter, and Max is at a "Senior Citizens For Reagan" meeting tonight.

Elaine: Jesus, Jane. This is a royal pain in the ass. I mean, tonight's important. We're psychologically testing ourselves by robbing Wheeler's and you bring your kids along. Can't you leave them home just once?

Jane: Are you serious? The last time that I left those two alone Billy took nude pictures of Laurie with his Polaroid and sent them into Playboy Magazine. It's dangerous!

Elaine: Oh, I see. You bring them along on a robbery where they'll be safe!

Elaine: [Louise has just jumped in the water to get the bag of money] I thought you said you couldn't swim!

Louise: [flailing her arms] I can't!

Elaine: [groans] Ok, You'll go get the money bag and I'll save the genius.

Jane: You know, we could split up the money right now...

Elaine: SWIM! NOW!

Patty: What do you want?

Elaine: I want you to get this lousy bank to lend me some money, or at least extend my MasterCharge limit. Oh, Patty, You've got to help me! I'm broke, flat busted broke. The house and car payments are due on Monday, I need money.

Patty: You know how banks operate. They only lend money to people who don't need it.

Elaine: This is an emergency!

Power and Light man: It always is.

Elaine: [Lying] No, I am serious. My mother is a very sick woman. She's in the bed next to me with her kidney machine, which has kept her alive for seven years. This wonderful 84-year-old woman!

Elaine: [pretending to talk to "mama"] What's that mama? The machine isn't going "ta-pocketa ta-pocketa ta-pocketa" anymore? Oh my God! No, I'm not talking to Oral Roberts on the phone mama, it's too late for that. But the man on the other end of the phone cares. You do care, don't you? You will turn the power back on, won't you?

Power and Light man: Lady, that was beautiful, really terrific. I've been here seven years, and that's the best I've heard yet. Great performance. But look, all is not lost. Thrifti-Mart is open 24 hours.

Elaine: What good will that do?

Power and Light man: They sell beautiful candles!

[hangs up the phone and laughs hysterically]

Elaine: [Book has just dropped off Rachel and Samuel at Elaine's] How could you do this to me tonight?

John Book: It's important!

Elaine: [Elaine runs upstairs and gets Rachel and Samuel settled, then runs down to chastise John] I told you I had company!

John Book: Where's Jason and Billy?

Elaine: Upstairs asleep.

John Book: You got a man in the house and the kids are upstairs?

Elaine: That's none of your business! So, keep you holier-than-thou mouth shut! Anyway, they like Fred!

John Book: Oh, now we've got Fred!

Elaine: Who are these vagrants, anyway?

John Book: They're Amish!

Ed: Do you understand half the shit he says?

Elaine: No, but I know what he means.

Wilson: Eddy... yeah, he's me new "china".

Elaine: What?

Wilson: china plate... mate.

Miles Cullen: Sometimes it's better if you just like someone, nothing more than that.

Elaine: Like someone and have... a little something in common.

Miles Cullen: Like money?

Elaine: Are you BLINDED, Randall?

Randall: We are going into that living room, and we're gonna find that safe. Now, today ain't gonna be a total loss. We are going in there and LOOK!

Elaine: OK, let us go LOOK.

Elaine: Are you blinded, Randall?

Randall: No I ain't BLINDED, Randall! What do you think I am that old wino?

Mrs. Hilyard: He who unleashes the terror, reaps the terror!

Miranda: Bye-bye Mummy.

Elaine: What?

Miranda: Be nice to Leah and Nicky

[grabs her leg splints]

Miranda: .

Elaine: Come on now, Daddy's not angry!

Jonah: No, Daddy's very angry!

Vic: What about him?

Elaine: ...Let him burn!

Elaine: What are you afraid of?

Vic: Nothing... except people.

Elaine: I thought you Northerners were supposed to be virile and well-mannered?

Dan: I'm a Midlander and anyway it's a myth. We're all wimps with little willies who can't take our beer!

Grace: You're the one who told me to have sex!

Elaine: Sex like a normal person! Not like a porn star!