Eddie, the Chauffeur Quotes in Topper Returns (1941)

Eddie, the Chauffeur: Doors closing by themselves. People talkin' to nuthin' and gettin' answers. I'm going back.

Clara Topper: Back where?

Eddie, the Chauffeur: To Mr. Benny. Ain't nuthin' like this ever happened there.

Eddie, the Chauffeur: Pardon me, boss, but could I sort of inquire what we're going to the Carrington place for?

Cosmo Topper: To look for a body.

Eddie, the Chauffeur: Better look for one for me, too, 'cause the one I'm using now is numb.

[Two attractive woman stop a car by sitting right in the roadway]

Eddie, the Chauffeur: Uh-oh! Danger ahead. Two of 'em.

Sgt. Roberts: Well, what are YOU doin' here?

Eddie, the Chauffeur: If you'd've asked me that a second later, you'd have been talkin' to yourself.

Cosmo Topper: Would you mind telling me where you ladies are taking me?

Ann Carrington: To the Carrington Estate.

Eddie, the Chauffeur: Uh-oh.

Ann Carrington: Is there anything wrong with the Carrington place?

Eddie, the Chauffeur: Yes, ma'am! If there wasn't anybody livin' there, it would be a haunted house.

Eddie, the Chauffeur: Do I look as pale as I feel?

Clara Topper: Edward, you look for him down that way.

Eddie, the Chauffeur: Its awful dark down there.

Clara Topper: Darkness never hurt anyone.

Eddie, the Chauffeur: It ain't the darkness, Mrs. Topper. Its what's in it!

Clara Topper: Don't be silly. There's no difference light and dark; except, the lights are out.

Eddie, the Chauffeur: Hold on, boss, that chair's deceptive, destructible, dis-trustworthy and this is the voice of experience!