Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba Quotes in Guest House Paradiso (1999)

Richard Twat: Will you stop making those owl noises?

Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: Sorry

Richard Twat: Now come on

[Rich slips and lands with his eye in the candle]

Richard Twat: AAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH

[Lights go out then Eddy lights another candle]

Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: Rich are you alright?

Richard Twat: Candle in the eye.

Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: What?

Richard Twat: Candle in the eye

[rich points to his eye]

Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: Oh righto

[Eddy shoves the candle in Richies unburnt eye]

Richard Twat: AAAARRRGGGGGHHH

Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: [Explosion. Miss Carbonara raises an enquiring eyebrow] Mice. Basque separatist mice.

Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: Chef's hurt himself.

Richard Twat: How badly?

Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: Indescribably badly. He hit his head on a frying pan seventeen times.

Richard Twat: [opens the till and finds it empty] What are the advance bookings, like?

Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: Ah, not too good.

Richard Twat: [shuts the till] Ooooooooh, God!

Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: Come on, Richie, it's not that bad.

Richard Twat: Yes, it is, I just trapped the tip of my penis in the till drawer!

Mrs Foxfur: [Eddie open the till] Oh, Mr Twat!

Richard Twat: It's Thwaite,

[whispers]

Richard Twat: I thought you said the guests have gone.

Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: I thought she was dead.

Richard Twat: What about that ring

Mrs Nice: I never take it off.

Richard Twat: Well what about the watch then? Is that expensive?

Mr Nice: Oh, it's just a cheap copy.

Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba: Well that will do, the pawnbroker is very shortsighted.

Richard Twat: EDDIE! means, that you don't need a watch in paradise. Time... stops here

[Mr. Nice hands over the watch]