Ed Masry Quotes in Erin Brockovich (2000)
Ed Masry Quotes:
Kurt Potter: Wha... how did you do this?
Erin Brockovich: Well, um, seeing as how I have no brains or legal expertise, and Ed here was losing all faith in the system, am I right?
Ed Masry: Oh, yeah, completely. No faith, no faith...
Erin Brockovich: I just went out there and performed sexual favors. Six hundred and thirty-four blow jobs in five days... I'm really quite tired.
Ms. Sanchez: [at the meeting with the PG & E lawyers] Let's be honest here. $20 million dollars is more money than these people have ever dreamed of.
Erin Brockovich: Oh see, now that pisses me off. First of all, since the demur we have more than 400 plaintiffs and... let's be honest, we all know there are more out there. They may not be the most sophisticated people but they do know how to divide and $20 million isn't *shit* when you split it between them. Second of all, these people don't dream about being rich. They dream about being able to watch their kids swim in a pool without worrying that they'll have to have a hysterectomy at the age of *twenty*. Like Rosa Diaz, a client of ours. Or have their spine deteriorate, like Stan Blume, *another* client of ours. So before you come back here with another lame ass offer, I want you to think real hard about what your spine is worth, Mr. Walker. Or what you might expect someone to pay you for your uterus, Ms. Sanchez. Then you take out your calculator and you multiply that number by a hundred. Anything less than that is a waste of our time.
[Ms. Sanchez picks up a glass of water]
Erin Brockovich: By the way, we had that water brought in specially for you folks. Came from a well in Hinkley.
Ms. Sanchez: [Puts down the glass, without drinking] I think this meeting is over.
Ed Masry: Damn right it is.
Ed Masry: [after a meeting with a PG&E representative] Didn't you hear? They have $28 billion at their disposal!
Erin Brockovich: So?
Ed Masry: You think I'm MADE of money?
Erin Brockovich: What are you yelling at me for?
Ed Masry: Because I'm pissed off!
Erin Brockovich: Good!
Ed Masry: [throws down tie] Fuck you!
Erin Brockovich: Fuck you back!
Ed Masry: [starts laughing] I really hate you sometimes, I really do.
Erin Brockovich: Aww, you love me.
Erin Brockovich: [testifying in court about her accident] I was pulling out real slow, and out of nowhere his Jaguar comes racing around the corner like a bat outta hell...
Erin Brockovich: They took some bone from my hip and put it in my neck; I didn't have insurance so I'm about $17,00 in debt right now.
Erin Brockovich: I couldn't take painkillers 'cause they made me too groggy to take care of my kids...
Erin Brockovich: Matthew's six, Katie's four and Beth's just nine months...
Erin Brockovich: I just wanna be a good mom, a nice person, a decent citizen. Just wanna take good care of my kids. You know?
Ed Masry: [quietly] Yeah... I know.
Defending Lawyer: $17,000 in debt? Is your ex-husband helping out?
Erin Brockovich: Which one?
Defending Lawyer: There's more than one?
Erin Brockovich: [becomes defensive] Yeah, there's two. Why?
Defending Lawyer: Right, no doubt.
Defending Lawyer: So, you must've been feeling pretty desperate that afternoon.
Erin Brockovich: What's your point?
Defending Lawyer: Broke, three kids, no job. A doctor in a Jaguar must've looked like a pretty good meal ticket.
Erin Brockovich: What?
[referring to the doctor]
Erin Brockovich: He hit me!
Defending Lawyer: So you say!
Erin Brockovich: [starts yelling] He came tearing around the corner out of control!
Defending Lawyer: [sarcastically] An ER doctor who spends his days saving lives was the one out of control...
Erin Brockovich: THAT ASSHOLE SMASHED IN MY FUCKING NECK!
Ed Masry: What makes you think you can just walk in there and find what we need?
Erin Brockovich: They're called boobs, Ed.
Erin Brockovich: Ya know why everyone thinks that all lawyers are back stabbing, blood sucking scum bags? cause they are! And I can not believe you expect me to go out, leave my kids with strangers and get people to trust you with *their* lives while all the while your screwing me! You know, Ed, it's not about the number! It's about the way my work is valued in this firm, it's the...
[She looks at the two million dollar bonus check]
Ed Masry: Like I was saying, I thought that the number you proposed was inappropriate, so I increased it.
[Turns to walk away and turns around to her]
Ed Masry: Do they teach beauty queens how to apologize? Because you suck at it!
Erin Brockovich: [Long pause, as Erin looks at the check] Uh, Ed... uh... thank you... uh...
Ed Masry: In a law firm you may want to re-think your wardrobe a little.
Erin Brockovich: Well as long as I have one ass instead of two I'll wear what I like if that's all right with you. You might want to re-think those ties.
Ed Masry: This is a whole different ball game. A much bigger deal.
Erin Brockovich: Kind of like David and what's-his-name.
Ed Masry: It's kind of like David and what's-his-name's whole fucking family.
Ed Masry: Okay, here's the deal: If, and only if, you find all the evidence to back this up, I'll do it, I'll take it on.
Erin Brockovich: You're doing the right thing, Mr. Masry.
Ed Masry: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Remind me of that when I'm filing for bankruptcy.
Ed Masry: [explaining his reason for removing Erin from his office] Now, look Erin, this incident aside, I don't think this is the right place for you. So what I'm gonna do is make a few calls on your behalf; find you something else, okay?
Erin Brockovich: [angrily] Don't bother!
Ed Masry: Come on! I'm trying to help here...
Erin Brockovich: BULLTSHIT! YOU'RE TRYING TO FEEL LESS GUILTY ABOUT FIRING SOMEONE WITH THREE KIDS TO FEED! WELL, FUCK IF I'LL HELP YOU DO THAT!
[Erin storms out of his office]
Erin Brockovich: Isn't it funny how some people go out of their way to help others, when others just fire them?
Ed Masry: Look, I'm sorry but you were gone for a week. I assumed you were off having fun.
Erin Brockovich: Oh, and why the hell would you assume that?
Ed Masry: I don't know. You look like someone who likes to have fun.
Erin Brockovich: Oh, so by that standard I should assume that you never get laid.
Ed Masry: I'm married!
[after a pause]
Ed Masry: Look. What is this all about?
Erin Brockovich: Do you want to know? Then you'll have to hire me back. I've got a ton of bills to pay.
Ed Masry: Fine! Fine!
Ed Masry: I'd love to help, Erin, but I'm sorry, I have a full staff right now, so...
Erin Brockovich: Bullshit. If you had a full staff, this office would return a client's damn phone calls.
Ed Masry: You're emotional, you're erratic. You say anything, you make this personal, and it isn't.
Erin Brockovich: Not personal? That is my work! My sweat! My time away from my kids! If that's not personal, I don't know what is.
[starts to cough]
Ed Masry: Hey, come on. Come on. Go home. Get well. Because you're no good to me sick. I need you, all right? This case needs you.
Donna Jensen: [after a meeting] Oh, I made some bundt cake. Let me get some coffee, too.
Ed Masry: [Gets up to leave] Sorry, we have to be getting back...
Erin Brockovich: [under her breath in Ed's ear] Have a fuckin' cup of coffee, Ed.
Ed Masry: [to Donna] Coffee would be great, thanks.
Pete Jensen: [after Ed sits back down next to him] My wife makes great bundt cake.
Ed Masry: I love bundt cake.
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