Earl Bassett Quotes in Tremors (1990)

[Burt cuts off a piece of fuse for a bomb for Earl]

Earl Bassett: What kind of fuse is that?

Burt Gummer: Cannon fuse

Earl Bassett: What the hell do you use it for?

Burt Gummer: My cannon!

Earl Bassett: Damn it, listen to me. I'm older and wiser.

Valentine McKee: Yeah, well you're half right.

Earl Bassett: Is this a job for an intelligent man?

Valentine McKee: Well, show me one and I'll ask him.

Earl Bassett: Hey, Rhonda you ever seen anything like this before?

Valentine McKee: Oh, sure Earl. Everyone knows about them we just didn't tell you.

Earl Bassett: Dammit, I'm gonna kick his ass!

Valentine McKee: I'm gonna help you.

[trapped on top of a boulder by a Graboid, Val, Earl, and Rhonda are thinking of explanations for where the creatures came from]

Valentine McKee: [joking] They're mutations caused by radiation. No, wait; the government made 'em. *Big* surprise for the Russians.

Rhonda LeBeck: Well, there's nothing like them in the fossil record... Okay, so they predate the fossil record.

[not buying it herself]

Rhonda LeBeck: That'd make them a couple of billion years old... and we've just never seen one until now. Right.

Earl Bassett: I vote for outer space. No way these are local boys.

Earl Bassett: No way those things can outrun these horses!

Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, for all you know, they can fly.

Earl Bassett: Dammit, Valentine! You never go for any girl unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.

Valentine McKee: Well, sure.

Earl Bassett: Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end! Like that Bobbie Lynn Dexter.

Valentine McKee: Tammy Lynn Baxter!

Earl Bassett: Doesn't matter. They're all the same: dead weight. "Ooh, I broke a nail!" Ugh! Makes my skin crawl.

Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, I'm a victim of circumstance.

Earl Bassett: I thought you called it your pecker.

Earl Bassett: Damn it Valentine, you never plan ahead, you never take the long view, I mean here it is Monday and I'm already thinking of Wednesday... It is Monday right?

Rhonda LeBeck: They only respond to vibration, right? Couldn't we... distract them somehow?

Valentine McKee: Yeah, something to keep 'em busy, like a... like a decoy!

Earl Bassett: Hey Melvin... wanna make a buck?

Earl Bassett: Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do, once a plan fails!

Earl Bassett: They must be long gone by now.

Valentine McKee: Yeah. Hey, why don't you go take a little stroll and find out?

Earl Bassett: No breakfast?

Valentine McKee: I did it yesterday. It was baloney and beans.

Earl Bassett: No, it was eggs. I made eggs. Over easy.

Valentine McKee: The hell you did! Baloney and beans. It's your turn!

[They go through a quick game of paper-rock-scissors, which Valentine loses]

Valentine McKee: Well, I guess when I'm your age, I'll forget what I eat, too.

Earl Bassett: [Valentine has just freed the truck from a hangup, after a struggle] Y'know, that's a good way to break an axle.

Valentine McKee: Could you shut up?

Earl Bassett: Hey, I don't need to spend the night out here!

Valentine McKee: [long pause] Crybaby.

Valentine McKee: Good luck shithead.

Earl Bassett: Don't worry about me jerkoff.

Earl Bassett: You little asswipe! You don't knock it off you're gonna be shittin' this basketball... pardon my French!

[Monster slams into a concrete retaining wall]

Earl Bassett: Stupid son-of-a-bitch, knocked itself cold!

Valentine McKee: Cold, my ass, he's dead! We killed it. We killed it! *Fuck you!*

Earl Bassett: What're you bringin' that vacuum cleaner, for?

Valentine McKee: I like this vacuum cleaner.

Earl Bassett: Y'never use it.

Valentine McKee: Well, it's good for parts.

Earl Bassett: [after digging out the dead graboid] There's no way Walter Chang's getting his slick mits on this for no 15 bucks.

Valentine McKee: You got that right!

Walter Chang: That's what I like... Graboids. That's it, Graboids!

Earl Bassett: Jesus, Walter.

Walter Chang: You're gonna be sorry if you don't give it a name.

Earl Bassett: We gotta run. We've got a schedule to keep.

Valentine McKee: Yeah. See, we plan ahead, that way we don't do anything right now. Earl explained it to me.

Valentine McKee: STAMPEDE! Stampede, Earl! Get out of the way, get out of the way!

Earl Bassett: [waking up] You dumb shit. I was in a stampede once. Five hundred head, all hell-bent for the horizon.

Valentine McKee: Now, exactly how many cattle are required for a stampede, Earl? Is it three or more? Is there a minimum to 'pede?

Earl Bassett: I wish they'd stampede up your ass.

[Melvin has a Graboid snake tongue wrapped around his neck]

Melvin Plug: [screams] It's got me! It's got me!

[Melvin bursts into laughter. Everyone realizes he was playing a joke]

Walter Chang: Melvin!

Burt Gummer: Damn it, Melvin!

[gets in Melvin's face and Melvin stops laughing]

Burt Gummer: You came that close, too close. No more games.

Earl Bassett: Melvin, one of these days, somebody's gonna kick your ass.

[repeated line]

Earl Bassett: Pardon my French!

Earl Bassett: [yelling] AHHH! AHHH!

Valentine McKee: What? What is it?

Earl Bassett: Damn prairie dog burrow.

Valentine McKee: Sons a bitches.

Earl Bassett: Melvin! One of these days someone's gonna kick your ass!

Earl Bassett: So we're stuck here. That pisses me off.

Valentine McKee: So what if we make it back to the rocks? We'll only last for 3 days!

Earl Bassett: Well I wanna live for the 3 days!

Valentine McKee: Was it a heart attack, Doctor?

Dr. Jim: No, died of dehydration, thirst.

Valentine McKee: That doesn't make any sense, that takes a couple days, doesn't it?

Dr. Jim: Maybe even three or four.

Earl Bassett: You mean he sat up there three or four days? He just sat up there and died of thirst?

Earl Bassett: You suppose he wanted to kill himself?

Valentine McKee: Come on, somebody must'a chased him up there.

Earl Bassett: You mean someone that ain't scared of a Winchester rifle? Then what'd they do? Camp out down below and wait for him to die?

Valentine McKee: What the hell are those things? And how can they bury a whole station wagon?

Earl Bassett: WHY would they do it?

Earl Bassett: Well, there sure as hell ain't nothing to stop us now... everybody we know between here and Bixbe's already dead.

[Ground Starts to bulge]

Earl Bassett: Must be a million of them!

[Grabiod breaks through the surface of the ground]

Valentine McKee: Nope, just one!

Earl Bassett: Here's the plan. We don't even stop. Ride like hell. Tonight we keep right on going. We'll walk the horses.

Earl Bassett: You guys gotta get the hell out of here! There's a killer on the loose!

Howard - Roadworker: [shuts off jackhammer] What?

Earl Bassett: A murderer! Man a real psycho! He's he's cutting people's heads off! I'm not kidding!

Earl Bassett: [Graboid eats Rhonda's shovel] Don't he have a home to go to?

Valentine McKee: That's why Edgar never got down off that damn tower.

Rhonda LeBeck: I think I have an idea.

Earl Bassett: You know, we're gonna have to come up with some sort of plan, he's just going to wait us to death.

Earl Bassett: You're hung up I tell you.You're gonna burn the clutch!