Dusty Quotes in Twister (1996)

Melissa: [at Meg's home at her dining table, eating steak and eggs] Why do you call Billy "The Extreme?"

Dusty: Because Billy *is* "The Extreme."

Jason 'Preacher' Rowe: Bill is the most outta control son of a bitch in the game!

Bill: [looking at Jo] No, I think I came in second.

Dusty: So we get this one near Daleton, right?

Rabbit: Oh, God.

Jo: You guys have got to get some new stories. I'm gonna go wash up.

Dusty: And we are way too close. And Jo's got the vid on it right, she's filming it. And all of the sudden outta nowhere, this shitty lookin' green Valiant comes pulling up right in the way.

Beltzer: [points to Bill] And this loser stumbles out of the car, he's got like a bottle of Jack Daniel's in his hand...

Dusty: He's naked!

Rabbit: He is *butt* naked!

Beltzer: Naked!

Bill: NOT naked! I was NOT naked!

Beltzer: [whispering & laughing in Melissa's ear] He was without apparel.

Bill: Half naked.

Dusty: Naked. Ok, so Jo's yelling at him to get out of the way, right?

[all laugh]

Dusty: And he just strolls up to the twister, says 'have a drink', and he chucks the bottle into the twister, and it NEVER hits the ground.

Jason 'Preacher' Rowe: The twister caught it, and sucked it right up!

Bill: [directing towards Melissa] Honey, this is a tissue of lies. See, there was another Bill, an evil Bill, and I killed him.

Dusty: [seductively to Melissa] "The Suck Zone". It's the point basically when the twister... sucks you up. That's not the technical term for it, obviously.

Dusty: [after a pair of tornadoes spun Bill's truck around a few times] Red meat. We crave sustenance.

Jo: No, guys. We are not invading my aunt.

Dusty: Food.

Dusty, Rabbit: [others join in] Food.

Dusty, Rabbit, Beltzer: [the rest join in] FOOOOOOOOD!

Jo: Hey! We are absolutely not going.

Rabbit: [at her home at the dining table, eating steak and eggs] God, Meg, you've got a lot of beef. Where did you get all this beef?

Meg Greene: Did you see my cows out front?

Rabbit: No.

Meg Greene: Oh!

Dusty: You slaughter your own cows, Meg, nice.

Beltzer: [over the radio] Normal man spends his life avoiding tense situations.

Dusty: [over the radio] Repo Man spends his life getting into tense situations, Beltzer!

Dusty: [to Mellissa, at Meg's home at her dining table, eating steak and eggs while pouring gravy onto her mashed ]

[potatoes]

Dusty: ] Meg's gravy is famous. It's practically a food group.

Dusty: Jo! Bill! Did you see that explosion?

Jo: [having just driven through the exploding petroleum truck with Bill] Yeah, we saw it.

Dusty: Jo, Bill, it's coming! It's headed right for us!

Bill: It's already here!

Dusty: Ha Ha! It's the wonder of nature, baby!

[to a terrified Melissa]

Dusty: Did you just miss that truck? That's awesome! That's AWESOME!

Dusty: He strolls up to the twister, and he says, *have a drink*. And he chucks the bottle into the twister, and it never hits the ground.

Dusty: He's gonna rue the day he came up against The Extreme, baby. Bill, I'm talkin' imminent rueage.

Dusty: [holding onto the drivers side window] Fashionably late again, eh Jonas? Fashionably late. Gimme kiss baby!

[kisses Eddies cheek]

Eddie: Get outta here!

Dusty: [laughing; points at Eddie as they drive by] Loser! Move on!

Dusty: [after first tornado, Dusty walks over to Joe's crashed truck while she's grabbing things out of it, laughing and noticing DOROTHY I still strapped in the bed, damaged] Well there's some good news, it *did* fly. What was it like?

Jo: It was windy.

Dusty: Windy.

[snorts]

Dusty: That's intense.

Jo: [before breaking one of the windows in her truck by kicking it] All right, move it, Dusty!

Dusty: [jokingly, raises his arms defensively] That's intense!

Dusty: [while watching Jonas on television at Meg's home at her dining table, eating steak and eggs] Oh God, he sucks.

Rabbit: Oh, shut up. Get him off.

[Bill turns off the televsion]

Jo: [about Jonas] He is so in love with himself. I thought it was just a summer thing.

Dusty: [seeing Bill for the first time in a long time] The extreme! IT'S THE EXTREME!

Bill: Oh, man. Don't start that shit.

[Watching Jo and Bill approaching a tornado on a video camera]

Dusty: They're in the bear cage!

Dusty: [to Melissa] Jo's gonna flip when she sees he's back!

Bill: [while walking away to find Jo] I'm not back!

Dusty: American saw cuts on a push stroke, Japanese saw cuts on a pull stroke. When an American cracks up, he opens up the window and shoots up a bunch of strangers. When a Japanese cracks up, he closes the window and kills himself. Everything is in reverse.

Dusty: That guy doesn't like you.

Harry Kilmer: No, not much.

Dusty: So how come you figure you can trust him?

Harry Kilmer: Giri.

Dusty: Gitty?

Harry Kilmer: Giri. Obligation.

Dusty: You mean he figures he owes you something?

Harry Kilmer: Yeah, sort of.

Dusty: Well, that can work two ways, Kilmer. If you ain't alive tomorrow, he don't owe you shit.

Dusty: This Giri...

Tanaka Ken: Giri? Aye.

Dusty: It means obligation, right?

Tanaka Ken: Burden.

Dusty: Burden?

Tanaka Ken: It's called, 'the burden hardest to bear.'

Dusty: Yeah, well, suppose you don't bear it. I mean, no one's going to come down on you?

Tanaka Ken: No.

Dusty: Well, you guys believe in some kind of Heaven and Hell?

Tanaka Ken: No.

Dusty: Then what is it you believe in that makes you do it?

Tanaka Ken: Giri.

Chris' Mom: Dusty, what kind of car is this?

Dusty: Carol, this little Japanese princess here is called the Prius.

Chris' Mom: I think it's so neat that you kids care about the environment.

Chris: I love the environment.

Chris' Mom: But honey, don't you drive a Range Rover? Aren't those bad?

Chris: [pause] Well, I had a really nice time tonight, and I hope we can do it again soon. Hey, Dusty, thanks for comin'.

Dusty: Oh, listen, man, it was my pleasure, really. Thank you all for having me. It was so nice.

[Chris takes out his retainer]

Dusty: And hey, before I forget, make sure to that you rinse that thing at least twice a day, okay? Your mouth is a disgusting open cesspool with germs and bacteria. Now put that back!

Dusty: I mean, listen, I know it might sound a little corny, maybe even a little femme, but I find something so resplendent in the simplicity of Nicholas Sparks' writing, you know what I mean?

[Looks at Chris's completely feminine Christmas sweater]

Dusty: Nice outfit, by the way. Rock and roll.

Frederick: I'm not interested in what your interior decorator thinks, okay?

Dusty: I can't commit to anything without consulting her first. That's what I have her for, okay?

Frederick: This is degrading. You don't buy paintings to blend in with the sofa.

Dusty: It's not a sofa - it's an ottoman!

Dusty: [singing] I used to work in Chicago, at a convenience store. / I used to work in Chicago. I did but I don't anymore. / A lady walked in with some porcelain skin and I asked her what she came in for. / "Liquor," she said, and lick her I did, and I don't work there anymore.

Lefty: Did you know that diarrhea was hereditary?

Dusty: No, I didn't.

Lefty: Yeah, it runs in your genes.

Dusty: [singing] When God created woman / He gave her not two breasts but three. / When the middle one got in the way, / God performed surgery. / Woman stood before God / With the middle breast in hand / Said,"What do we do with the useless boob?" / And God created man.

Dusty, Lefty: [singing] Bad jokes, Lord, I love 'em. / Bad jokes, can't get enough of em. / O-o-o-whee, / Bad jokes for me.

Lefty: What do you get when you cross holy water with castor oil?

Dusty: I don't know, Lefty. What do you get?

Lefty: A religious movement.

[from trailer]

Dusty: Why do they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow was already taken.

Al, Stage Manager: About that obscene song you sang last week...

Dusty: "I'll give you my moonshine if you show me your jugs?"

Dusty: Hey, uh... hey, Lefty. What did the elephant say to the naked man?

Lefty: What'd he say?

Dusty: It's cute, but can you really breathe through that thing?

Dusty: Did you hear about the Viagra shipment that got stolen?

Lefty: No. Who do they think did it?

Dusty: Well, they don't know, but they're on the look out for hardened criminals.

[Dusty is trying to beat him up]

Donovan: Dusty, will you just let me say one word?

Dusty: One!

Donovan: Dusty...

Dusty: That's it!

Donovan: You always kiss like that?

Dusty: I've been saving up.

Dusty: Donovan? Yes you, you snake oil salesman! Are you coming out here or am I coming in there?

Russell Donovan: What's the matter, Dusty? Is there some trouble?

Dusty: Yes, there's trouble all right! And you're in it!

Russell Donovan: [coming to after Dusty knocks him out with a spitoon and sees her coming at him again] Dusty! Dusty! Would you just tell me what's bothering you?!

Dusty: [grabbing Donovan by the jacket] That bed! That great, big, brass bed! If you had no intention of exercising your husbandly prerogatives, why'd you buy that bed?

Russell Donovan: That's it? The *bed*?

Dusty: *Yes*!

Russell Donovan: [holds her hands away from him] The bed happens to be for the kids, Dusty. When the nights are getting colder, they'll need a *warmer* place to sleep. So the brass bed is for the boys, and the smaller bed is for *Celia*!

Dusty: [sweetly] Well, why didn't you say so in the first place, then we could have avoided this little misunderstanding.

[frees her hands and walks through the mess in the bar over to the door where Celia is sitting]

Dusty: [takes her hand] Come along, Celia. This is no place for a lady.

Dusty: Donovan? I'm sorry I hit you in the head with the spitoon.

Russell Donovan: [smiles] A perfectly logical misunderstanding. And I'm sorry I offered to buy you a drink in the saloon, too.

Dusty: A perfectly logical misunderstanding.

Russell Donovan: Well, I wouldn't make that mistake again.

Dusty: You wouldn't?

Russell Donovan: [steps closer, looks as if he's about to kiss her - then he shakes her hand instead] Good luck, Dusty.

The Sheriff: To Zanti after he shackles him to a bed frame: Reckon that'll hold ya.

John Tobin: I'm not so sure.

The Sheriff: This is my business. I ain't never lost a prisoner yet.

Dusty: Heh... You never had one to lose.

Dusty: Violence is like an A Bomb. It ripples out.

Kelly: When does it stop?

Dusty: Whadda ya mean, stop?

Dusty: Gee, that was a bright idea. Wonder why I didn't think of it!

Wagonmaster Callahan: Because it was a bright idea.