Durward Lely Quotes in Topsy-Turvy (1999)
Durward Lely Quotes:
Wilhelm: Rest assured, Mr. Lely, my designs are properly researched and authentic to the last thread.
Durward Lely: No disrespect to you, Mr. Wilhelm, but your authentically tailored costume seems to have left me rather in the buff, somewhat!
Wilhelm: No more in the buff than Japanese peasants have been for the last eight hundred years, sir.
Durward Lely: May I draw your attention, Mr. Wilhelm, to the fact that I am not actually a Japanese peasant?
Gilbert: No, you are a Scotch actor who is taking the part of a Japanese prince who is posing as an itinerant minstrel.
Wilhelm: Mr. Grossmith, kindly oblige me by removing your hat.
George Grossmith: Why, sir? Are you ready for me?
Wilhelm: Would that I were, sir. And, I'll thank you not to refer to my designs as "vulgar", Mr. Lely.
Durward Lely: Mr. Wilhelm, to my eyes, your designs are not only vulgar, but obscene!
Wilhelm: How DARE you, sir?
Gilbert: Strong words, Lely - what the deuce do you mean?
Durward Lely: Mr. Gilbert, I am a respectably married man and I love my wife dearly. Now, one of the few pleasures that she has enjoyed since the untimely demise of my beloved mother-in-law is to watch me perform upon the stage. But, I am not prepared to allow her to suffer the embarrassment of seeing me flaunted before the public like a half-dressed, performing dog!
Gilbert: You have my sympathies, Lely. Unfortunately, your avocation as an actor compels you, on occasion, to endure the most ignominious indignities, to which Grossmith will doubtless testify.
George Grossmith: Without question, sir.
Richard Temple: [on wearing a sweaty costume during summer performances] I fear that dear Mr. Gilbert has run out of ideas.
Durward Lely: No!
Richard Temple: He doesn't know what to do with me. Ponder this: he thrusts me into a gamut of tight-fitting pots, pans, and pails, and poaches me like a fucking haddock! Forgive my Anglo-Saxon, Mr. Butt.
George Grossmith: I have a meeting with Carte this afternoon.
George Grossmith: At what hour?
Rutland Barrington: Five o'clock.
George Grossmith: Curious. I am to meet with him at half-past four.
Durward Lely: Strange, I DON'T have a meeting with him at four o'clock.
Rutland Barrington: It is my firm intention to prise open his purse.
George Grossmith: It will take a far stronger man than you, Mr. Barrington, to fulfill that herculean labour.
Rutland Barrington: [chuckles] And what's your mission, Captain Grossmith?
George Grossmith: Oh, there are certain little matters.
Durward Lely: Dickie, have you heard the real news of the day?
Richard Temple: Yes, the Fenian bomb. Oh, dreadful.
Durward Lely: No - Grossmith and Barrington.
Richard Temple: [shocked] What?
Durward Lely: They're off tonight.
Richard Temple: No!
Durward Lely: Yes.
Richard Temple: Both of them?
Durward Lely: Yes.
Richard Temple: Why?
Durward Lely: Oysters...
Richard Temple: [gasps]
Durward Lely: We shared luncheon together.
Richard Temple: Did you swallow?
Durward Lely: No, I chose the sole!
Richard Temple: Off the bone?
Durward Lely: Yes, it was rather succulent.
Richard Temple: Wise man. Oysters can kill, you know.
Durward Lely: Oh, unquestionably!
Richard Temple: I had an aunt, choked on a scallop at Herne Bay.
Durward Lely: Really?
Richard Temple: Tragic.
Wilhelm: Will you remove your corset.
Durward Lely: I beg your pardon?
Wilhelm: Kindly remove your corset, Mr. Lely, it will spoil the hang of the cloth.
Durward Lely: Mr. Gilbert, I never perform without my corset!
Gilbert: What, never?
Richard Temple: Shocking news from Khartoum. Something will have to be done tout-de-suite. Mrs. Temple hit the nail on the head as usual.
Durward Lely: Oh, really? What did she say?
Richard Temple: "The nation loses a hero, but the family loses a loved one."
Durward Lely: Oh, how apt.
Browse more character quotes from Topsy-Turvy (1999)
Characters on Topsy-Turvy (1999)
- Helen Lenoir
- Lucy Gilbert (Kitty)
- George Grossmith
- Richard Barker
- Mr. Seymour, Production Manager
- Fanny Ronalds
- Mr. Price
- Female Chorus Member
- Male Chorus Member
- Chorus Members
- Mr. Kent
- Richard Temple
- Maude Gilbert
- Rutland Barrington
- Jessie Bond
- Madame Leon
- Leonora Braham, Lead Soprano