Duke Quotes in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

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Duke Quotes:

  • Duke: This is Captain Duke Hauser, prepare to be boarded.

    Viper Guard: Sir.

    Cobra Commander: You are relentless, Duke, I'll give you that much. And what's to stop me from blowing you out of the water?

    Duke: Self preservation. I'm taking you in, Rex.

    Cobra Commander: [laughs evilly] You and what army?

    Duke: My army.

  • General Hawk: Looks like your mission is complete here, Duke.

    Duke: [regarding the Baroness] When you move then, she's gonna come after you. You know that, right? And with her Intel and toys, she'll find you.

    General Hawk: What's your point?

    Duke: You're going after her first and we want in.

    Ripcord: General, it was our team that got wasted out there. We deserve payback.

    General Hawk: You don't ask to be part of G.I. Joe. You get asked.

  • Duke: [to Snake-Eyes - inquiring where he is from] What about you?

    Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara: He doesn't speak.

    Ripcord: Why?

    Breaker: He doesn't say.

  • The Baroness: [smiles] Hello, Duke.

    Duke: [surprised] Anna?

    The Baroness: [kicks him] Now you have to admit, you had that coming.

  • Duke: [after crashing into cars while running in the accelerator suits] Okay, that was crazy. I didn't expect that. What happened to you?

    Ripcord: I went through the train. What happened to you?

    Duke: I jumped over it.

    [pause]

    Ripcord: You can do that?

    Duke: Yeah. I told you to read that manual.

    Ripcord: There's a manual?

  • The Baroness: Try this on for size, boys.

    [launches missiles at the Joes]

    Duke: Oh, shit!

  • Ripcord: [exercising] Hey, man, Breaker told me Scarlett graduated college at 12 years old. She's like some freaky little deadly genius.

    [Ripcord leans on bars]

    Duke: Rip. I get it, Rip. You like her.

    Ripcord: Sorry, my bad. To hell with it!

    [Ripcord lets go]

    Duke: Rip. Rip.

  • [as Storm Shadow prepares to kill Duke]

    Duke: [pointing his gun] Move and I'm gonna blow her away.

    The Baroness: [to Duke] Do it. You already killed me once.

  • McCullen: I'm gonna make you very unhappy.

    Duke: I'm already unhappy.

  • Duke: [after meeting Samantha] Please tell me you didn't let a fine piece of ass like that get away from you, Reaper.

    John Grimm: She's my sister.

    Duke: No shit?

    Destroyer: Don't do this again, man.

    Duke: Do what?

  • Female electronic voice: RRTS Special Ops clearance verified. Handle ID: Destroyer.

    Destroyer: Daddy's home.

    Female electronic voice: Handle ID: Mac. Handle ID: Portman. Handle ID: Goat. Handle ID: The Kid.

    The Kid: "The Kid"?

    Female electronic voice: Handle ID: Duke.

    Duke: Say my name, baby.

  • Samantha Grimm: You know, Duke, I bet secretly you've got a big heart.

    Duke: Oh, yeah? Well, that ain't the only secret big thing I got.

    Samantha Grimm: Little rusty, huh?

    Duke: [chuckles] Oh, lady, you have no idea.

  • Corporal Dean Portman: I don't believe this shit. Six months without a weekend, and the goddamn transporters are five minutes late. Now that's 5 minutes of R and R that I ain't gonna get back.

    Duke: Relax baby, we're on vacation!

  • Sarge: Eliminate the threat.

    The Kid: What threat?

    Duke: It goes that this see, if its trying kill ya. Its a threat

  • [after Sam closes the nanowall on a monster]

    Duke: And that's why I don't do nanowalls.

  • Duke: Where the fuck are we?

    Goat: Couple a million light years from breakfast.

  • Sarge: Listen up, men. Leave is canceled.

    [Groans and murmuring from the squad]

    Duke: [under his breath] Aw, man... I don't believe it. Fuck!

    Sarge: You got a problem with that, Duke?

    Duke: Me, Sarge? Hell, no! I love my job!

  • Duke: Who are you?

    Langral: Secret Service.

    Duke: I didn't hear anything about this.

    Harry Shaw: That will be why they call it secret, right?

  • Duke: I'm dying!

    Lt. Crowe: No you're not... But you are gonna have to stick your head between your legs to tell the time.

  • [last lines]

    Max: Welcome home, Duke.

    Duke: Thanks, Max.

  • Max: [after Duke accidentally causes a vase to crash to the floor] Oh, Duke. Duke, Katie is not... Katie's gonna be so upset when she sees that... Katie's... gonna flip out...

    [looks around mischievously]

    Max: ... when she sees how... you trashed her whole place.

    Duke: Oh, it's just...

    [scratches behind ear]

    Duke: It's just one vase.

    Max: Is it, Duke? Is it?

    [Kicks a vase off a table]

    Max: Oh that's a shame.

    [pushes a bunch of papers onto the ground]

    Duke: What are you doing?

    Max: Whoa, what am I doing? Nothing. I'm a cute little doggy. Katie knows I'd never do anything like this

    [pushes a table making it start to tip over]

    Duke: No, no. Whoa!

    [runs and manages to keep the table from falling over]

    Max: This can only be the work of...

    [pushes some books off a shelf]

    Max: ... a dangerous stray, Who hasn't laid down a foundation of trust.

    [walks along a counter-top, knocking things over]

    Max: You're the new dog. And, hey Duke, what'd you go and do this for?

    [pushes a bowl of fruit to the ground]

    Duke: Oh! I'm gonna...

    Max: What? Bite me? Rip my face off? Perfect. Wait till Katie finds out.

    [imitates an injured dog]

    Max: Oh! Help, Katie! Thank goodness you're here! I tried to stop him, but he's crazy!

  • Duke: Don't make me angry, because when I get angry, I do this...

    [Growls]

    Duke: ... and I hate doing that.

  • Elsa: [to a guard] The party is over. Close the gates.

    Guard: Right away, Your Majesty.

    Anna: What? Elsa, no! No, wait!

    [She tries to grab Elsa's hand, but instead yanks off her glove]

    Elsa: [gasps, desperately] Give me my glove!

    Anna: [also desperate] Elsa, please! Please! I can't live like this anymore!

    Elsa: [pauses] Then leave.

    [Anna looks at her with a hurt expression; Elsa then turns to leave]

    Anna: [calling after her] What did I ever do to you?

    Elsa: [impatiently] Enough, Anna.

    Anna: No! Why? Why do you shut me out? Why do you shut the world out? What are you so afraid of?

    Elsa: I said enough!

    [In her fury, she conjures up an icicle wall around herself. Everyone - including Anna - stares at her in fright. Elsa shrinks back at what she's done]

    Duke: Sorcery.

    [hides behind one of his bodyguards]

    Duke: I knew there was something dubious going on here.

    Anna: [shocked] Elsa.

    [Devastated, Elsa flees the ballroom]

  • Duke: [to Anna] You, is there sorcery in you, too? Are you a monster, too?

    Anna: No! No, I'm completely ordinary.

    Hans: That's right, she is.

    [Anna looks at him quizzically]

    Hans: In-in the best way.

    [Anna smiles at him]

  • [the Duke has volunteered his men to go with Hans to find Anna]

    Duke: Be prepared for anything. And should you encounter the queen, you are to put an end to this winter. Do you understand?

  • Dillhoefer: Now, here's what we do. We put her up on the wing...

    Duke: And she'll fake being afraid...

    Dillhoefer: Right.

    Duke: And the wind will blow her clothes off!

    Dillhoefer: Yes! Yes!

    Waldo Pepper: Wait! Why would the wind blow her clothes off? When I'm wing-walking, the wind doesn't blow MY clothes off.

    Dillhoefer: Fool! Nobody wants to come and see YOU with YOUR clothes off!

  • [Chester has the hiccups]

    Duke: Can't you suppress it somehow?

    Chester Hooton: Frighten me.

    Duke: I can't, I haven't got a mirror.

  • Duke: Experience is the best teacher.

    Chester Hooton: Oh, experience is the best teacher, huh?

    Duke: Naturally, and I'm a Ph.D.

    Chester Hooton: Yeah, a pin-headed dope.

  • Chester Hooton: Am I dead?

    Duke: I can't tell, you always look that way.

  • Duke: Chester, you'd better face it - the cards say "Alaska!"

    Chester Hooton: No wonder - it's a cold deck!

  • Chester Hooton: Everything is cold! My nose is an iceberg.

    Duke: Iceberg? That's a glacier.

  • Duke: You think being a crow is a big motherfucking ball? All you cats the same, man! You don't know where it is, and you don't have somebody to tell you where it is. You have to be where it is to find out what's happening!

  • Fritz: I know about the race problem - I've studied the race problem!

    Duke: You don't know nothing about the race problem! You've got to be a crow to know about the race problem!

  • Duke: It's just like what Coach says before every game: Be not afraid of greatness, some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. I think our best chance to be great here today, is to have you play.

  • Viola: Okay, who's your daddy?

    Duke: Huh?

    Viola: I got her to consider you! You're half way in man!

    Duke: Um, uh, ok, so, should I ask her out?

    Viola: No. You don't want to freak her out, you've got to have a casual conversation first, hello?

    Viola: [after Duke looks away in frustration] Why do I get the feeling you don't do this very often?

    Duke: Man, I just, I'm not really good at talking to girls.

    Viola: Why? You're hot!

    Duke: What?

    Viola: [clears throat] Ya know, you're an appealing guy- man- guy- guy man.

    Duke: Look, I don't know, I just always say the wrong- I just always say the wrong thing.

    Viola: OK. Alright, come on, get up. I wanna trying something where I'm gonna act like a girl and you're gonna talk to me, ok?

    Duke: Ew. Do, do I have to?

    Viola: Yes. Cause, "I'm Viola. Duke, nice to meet you."

    Duke: OK, that was creepy. You really just sounded like a girl just then.

    Viola: I used to imitate my sister all the time. I got really good at it. Come on, get up. Ask me some questions and if the chemistry's right, things will just start flowin'.

    Duke: Questions about what?

    Viola: Anything. Ask me if I like... cheese.

    Duke: [laughing] Um, ok. Do you... like... cheese?

    Viola: [Girl's voice] Why yes I do. My favourite's gouda.

    Duke: I like gouda too?

  • Viola: What does your heart tell you?

    Duke: What?

    Viola: I mean... which one would you rather see NAKED?

  • Viola: So, what brings you here?

    Duke: Well, a few days ago I kissed this girl at a kissing booth. And now, I just can't seem to stop thinking about it.

    Viola: Neither can she.

    Duke: Plus, I miss my roommate. I really liked him.

    Viola: Well, he's right in here.

    [pointing to her heart]

    Viola: Listen, I know I should have told you who I was, but I was afraid. I'm sorry.

    Duke: Well, you know maybe if I had known you were a girl, we wouldn't have talked like we did, and got to know each other the same way. And that would've been a shame.

    Viola: Just so you know, everything you told me when I was a guy, just made me like you so much more as a girl.

    Duke: Ok, but just from here on in, everything would just be alot easier if you stayed a girl.

  • [sees Olivia switch kissing booth places with Viola]

    Duke: Just my luck.

    [sees look on Viola's face]

    Duke: No, no, no, no. I didn't mean it like that. I just mean, she's... you know... Ok. Um, on the other hand you're also...

    Viola: I am? Thanks, I, guess.

    9 Year Old Boy: You don't have to flirt with her first, okay, genius? You're paying for it.

    Duke: Haha, why don't you just - relax.

    [to Viola]

    Duke: Um, um, um- maybe I should kiss you now, I gave that girl my ticket and I waited in line.

    Viola: Well, it's the least I can do.

    Duke: Uh, ok - here I go. Um - uh...

    [They kiss]

    Duke: Ok, I think that was one ticket's worth.

    Viola: Na-uh, you need a little bit more.

    [she kisses him again]

  • Viola: No man... if you wanna kiss her... You go right ahead and you kiss her! I mean, knock your self out! You just take her... then kiss her. Then kiss the crap out of her!

    Duke: Okay

  • Viola: I get to take a shower. I get to take a shower.

    Malcolm: [startled gasp then realizes he forgot to introduce himself] Malcolm Festes, Dorm Director. Shower shoes are to be worn in the bathroom at all times except when in the actual shower... Did you not read your "Dorm Life" pamphlet? It was in your cubby.

    [Duke walks in and hits Malcolm behind the head with a towel. Malcolm emits a high-pitched squeal]

    Viola: Sup dog?

    Duke: Yeah, what's kickin', homie?

    Viola: Later.

    Duke: Hey, you forgot, ew...

    [holding up Viola's chest bandage]

    Duke: This, coolio.

    Viola: Word, g-money.

  • Duke: I gotta go change my feet.

  • Duke: [Using one of Viola's tampons after getting into a fight with Justin at the carnival] Oh, yeah, I uh, borrowed one of your... yeah... and you're right, they really do work.

    Viola: Oh my god you're hurt...

    [clears throat]

    Viola: I mean, suck it up, be a man and rub some dirt on it

    Duke: Okay, I'll rub some dirt in it...

  • Duke: Why, why do you always talk about girls in such graphic terms?

  • Duke: I kinda got into it with your sister's ex.

    Viola: Really. Why?

    Duke: He kinda saw us making out at the kissing booth.

    Viola: Wait... you kissed her?

  • [to Eunice after Olivia and Sebastian/Viola leave Cesarios]

    Duke: So... do you like cheese?

  • Duke: What're you gonna do, drown me in your tears?

    Justin: I did not cry during that game. I had something in my eye.

  • Viola: Quit blushing! That's lame.

    Duke: Shut up, I'm not blushing.

  • Duke: Its not gonna be that bad, Olivia's gonna be there. the perfect opportunity for me to lay some groundwork.

    Viola: Oh, Olivia's gonna be there. And my sister, and Monique, and you, and my mom. great.

  • Duke: Yeah! You did it!

    [singing]

    Duke: I'm going out with Olivia...

    Viola: What the hell, I thought you like Viola now!

    Duke: Dude, come on, you're a guy. What would you do?

    [sings again]

    Duke: If the hottest girl in school came to you and asked you on a date?

    Viola: I'll be right back!

  • Duke: [after being left with Eunice in Cesario's] So, uh, do you... like cheese?

    Eunice: More than almost any other animal by-product.

  • Viola: So what about the thing... we talked about it... that you're gonna do later?...

    Duke: What thing? I'm... I'm thingless...

  • Duke: You know... it's crazy how wrong you can be about a person... just crazy... You think that they are one thing and then they turn out to be the exact opposite. You know what? Save it. We were suppose to be friends.

    Viola: We are friends.

    [Duke showes Viola/Sebastian against the wall]

    Duke: You dont even know the meaning of the word.

  • Viola: [as Sebastian] Hey. HEY! What up? You must be my room-mates.

    Duke: [laughs]

    [Viola clears throat]

    Duke: What-what's your name?

    Viola: Sebastian Hastings.

    Duke: Duke Orsino.

    Viola: [grunts]

    Duke: Um, ok, ok, ok, ok! Um, this is Andrew and Toby. They live next door.

    Andrew: Yeah, freshman dorms thattaway, twiglet.

    Toby: Seriously, how old are you?

    Viola: I skipped a couple of grades. I'm brilliant, shh! Anyway, you know when our soccer try-outs start?

    Duke: Noon. You play?

    Viola: Absolutely. Centre-forward. You know it, bra. So, uh, you play the beautiful sport, bro? Brothers? Brethren?

    Duke: Yeah, I'm a striker. Andrew and Toby are half-backs.

    Viola: Schveet!

    Duke: Ok, w-why do you have tampons in your boot?

    Viola: Um, I get really bad nose bleeds?

    Andrew: So you stick 'em up your nose?

    Viola: Yeah! What, you've, you've never done that?

    [Boys shake head]

    Viola: Oh my! Beckhem does it all the time.

    Duke: Serious?

    Viola: Yes. Look, let me show you how to do it. Take that off and whatever that is, and, and you stick it right in. It absorbs right up!

    Duke: That's disgusting!

    Andrew: Oh my god! You're room-mates a freak!

  • Duke: Just because you wear a wig, doesn't mean you're a girl.

  • Duke: [at the kissing booth] What do you think its going to be like?

    Toby: It's going to be really special, she's just about kissed 300 guys at his point.

  • Duke: [after seeing Olivia nod at Viola and wave] Dude you know her?

    Viola: Talked to her for like a second.

  • Duke: This is perfect. You spend an hour with her every other day. You can convince her to go out with me!

    Viola: Dude, she's had that option for, like, three and a half years.

  • Viola: Be a man. Suck it up and rub some dirt in IT.

    Duke: All right, I'll rub some dirt on it...

  • Sebastian: Sebastian but actually Viola: Ask me if I like Cheese

    Duke: Duke: Um, ok. Do you like cheese?

    Sebastian: Sebastian but actually Viola: Why yes I do, my favorite's Gouda.

  • Duke: Will he kill me if I stop?

    Ben Jabituya: Who is to say?

    Duke: Will he kill me if I don't stop?

    Ben Jabituya: Again I am shrugging.

    Duke: I'm stopping.

    Ben Jabituya: Good choice.

  • Duke: Dr. Warmonger - I mean, Dr. Marner!

  • Debbi: Duke, let's go do some crimes.

    Duke: Yeah. Let's go get sushi and not pay.

  • Duke: The lights are growing dim Otto. I know a life of crime has led me to this sorry fate, and yet, I blame society. Society made me what I am.

    Otto: That's bullshit. You're a white suburban punk just like me.

    Duke: Yeah, but it still hurts.

  • Duke: You say our names, we're going to have to kill all these people, Archie.

  • Archie: Awww. Dukie Wookie hurt his widdle hand.

    Duke: Fuck you, Archie. Just for that you're not in the gang anymore.

  • Duke: My brother loved the land, I loved the sea.

    Mitch: Oh. Like surf and turf.

    Duke: Ha ha ha.

    Mitch: Thought that was funny?

    Duke: No, just thinking about what I'd like to do to you.

  • Ira: Hi. We're Ira and Barry Schalowitz.

    Barry: We helped bury your brother.

    Duke: Oh. Maybe someday I can do the same for you.

  • Mitch: Don't mess with us! We're from New York.

    Duke: If you ever talk to me like that again, I'm gonna turn your balls into earrings.

    Mitch: Go for it.

  • Mitch: Eat you? What a lovely image. "Eat me!" Hey, Glen, I'm still hungry, is there any more Phil? Oooh, pass the Phil. Mmmmm, it's even good cold. Great party, thanks to Phil!

    Phil: Alright, so DON'T eat me!

    Duke: Jesus Christ, what a bunch of little piss pots.

  • Duke: 'The hell you lookin' at?

    Mitch: I can't get over it. Curly's twin.

    Duke: Well get over it. Or I'll turn you into twins.

  • Duke: If you guys wanna go home, go ahead. But that gold, that's the only dream I've got left.

  • Duke: My Ma died last year, she was 95. Stabbed in a bar fight.

  • Suzie Q: How about a kiss?

    Duke: Sure, those never cost anything.

    Suzie Q: Yes they did. I got used to them.

  • Duke: [looking at Jimmy Shines newly finished hot rod, joking] Is this piss yellow?

    Tony Nancy: [with mock shock] It's 'Tony Nancy' yellow!

  • Duke: I don't know how to explain this. Your words go in my ears, but then they don't make it to the processor.

  • [last lines]

    Duke: [shouting] Write a book about what?

  • Duke: Can you feel it! This is where music happens, do you understand what I'm saying! In your guts! In your organs! AFRICA! Do you understand!

  • Duke: Uuuuuuhh, look at me: I'm Duke, the horny ghost.

  • Duke: [to Carolyn] What kind of a mother are you? Spread out all over the world! You can't raise your kids long distance, or by teachers, a maid, or a grouchy grandpa!

    Bert: Or a Bert! Your kids are a real handful you know!

  • Carolyn: What would you know about raising my children?

    Duke: We've just spent three whole days with your kids, when was the last time you could say the same thing?

  • DukeJay: [in a cab] Take off, driver.

    [look at each other]

    Duke: This cab is taken!

    Tracy: Yes it is, we're taking it.

  • Duke: [to Carolyn] Your children are looking for attention and affection and they're going to get it from anybody they can, even two 'kind of' kidnappers.

  • Bert: [hears sirens] THEY'RE HERE, IT'S THE COPS!

    Duke: It's fire engines, and they're passing by.

  • Duke: Oh, you give a fuckin' aspirin a headache, pal!

  • Paul the Boatman: [seeing Brian delirious after taking an ecstasy pill] What's with him?

    Duke: [chuckling] He's just had one of these. These are super e's mate, we're gonna make millions!

    Paul the Boatman: I don't care, this is my boatyard. Now, I want those pills and that fucking idiot out of here, I can't afford to get nicked!

    Duke: Paul, Paul, calm down mate. What's the matter with you, I've got Gene coming down with a buyer tomorrow. You'll be in your whack. Here, chill, have a pill.

  • Duke's Girlfriend: You know what? I'm thinking of getting the law on you.

    Duke: She didn't mean that!

    Duke's Girlfriend: Yes, I swear to God the bloody law!

    [Shot in the head]

    Duke: [Shot in the chest]

  • Duke: Keep it moving, there 's no sandcastles on Margate beach. Come on Archer, no slaggin' for you, you long streak of cabbage.

  • Duke: You might be a smart ass, Archer, but your nothing but a fool to yourself.

    Archer: I get by.

  • Jackson: Oh look at that all over my hair!

    Duke: Quiet, Jackson, or do we want Mr. Teasy Weasy in there with ya?

    Jackson: Only washed it last night, Sir.

    Duke: Quiet, you little poof and keep shoveling.

  • Duke: Woods!

    Woods: Sir?

    Duke: What are you supposed to be doing?

    Woods: What Sir?... Oh, shoveling Sir.

    Duke: Than shovel it in the barrow, savvy. When we want it the other side of the Channel we'll let you know, lad.

  • Duke: Look at you sitting there with that daft smile on your face. Why aren't you over there with the rest of them?

    Archer: I'm an atheist.

    Duke: What do you think that lot are, Disciples?

  • Duke: Time!

    [Max pauses, then whips the sock into Fish's face one more time]

    Duke: Max! I said time!

    Max: F***! I HATE THIS GAME!

    Crow: Aw, now your sock is all wet.

    [Max hucks the sock at Crow]

    Crow: Well, don't have a hissy fit! Jesus Christ!

    Max: Sit on my f***ing fist, you pansy!

    Crow: Ha. You wish.

  • Duke: What's the matter? You gettin' yellow?

    Dan Quigley: No, getting smart.

    Duke: Well, what are you squawkin' about? Pete and Smiley and I take all the chances, while you lay around waitin' for somethin' to happen... lady fingers.

  • [last lines]

    Allie: Do you think our love, can take us away together?

    Duke: I think our love can do anything we want it to.

    Allie: I love you.

    Duke: I love you, Allie.

    Allie: Good night.

    Duke: Good night. I'll be seeing you.

  • Duke: That's my sweetheart in there. Wherever she is, that's where my home is.

  • Allie: Do you think our love can make miracles?

    Duke: I do.

  • Duke: How's it hangin' Harry?

    Harry: I keep trying to die, but they won't let me.

    Duke: Well, you can't have everything.

  • Duke: Science only goes so far and then comes God.

  • Duke: They didn't agree on much. In fact they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time and they challenged each other everyday...

    Young Noah: [Allie and Noah are fighting] Don't push me!

    [Allie pushes Noah anyway]

    Duke: ...But in spite their differences, they had one important thing in common, they were crazy about each other.

  • Duke: I was just going for a walk. I couldn't sleep.

    Nurse Esther: You were going to see Miss Allie. Now you know you're not allowed. It's against the rules. You go back to your room. And as for me, I'm going downstairs to get a cup of coffee and won't be back for a while. Stay out of trouble.

    [Duke walks over to Nurse Esther's counter and sees a full cup of coffee]

  • Duke: I am no one special. Just a common man with common thoughts. I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but in one respect I've succeeded as gloriously as anyone who ever lived. I've loved another with all my heart and soul and for me that has always been enough.

  • Duke: It was an improbable romance. He was a country boy. She was from the city. She had the world at her feet, while he didn't have two dimes to rub together.

  • Duke: She had come back into his life like a sudden flame; blazing and streaming into his heart. Noah stayed up all night contemplating the certain agony he knew would be his if he were to lose her twice.

  • Allie: They fell in love, didn't they?

    Duke: Yes, they did.

  • Allie: Did you write that?

    Duke: No, that was Walt Whitman.

    Allie: I think I knew him...

    Duke: I think you did too.

  • Duke: Allie was surprised how quickly she fell in love with Lon Hammond. He was handsome, smart, funny, sophisticated, and charming. He also came from old Southern money and was fabulously wealthy.

  • Duke: Southern summers are indifferent to the trials of young love. Armed with warnings and doubts, Noah and Allie gave a remarkably convincing portrayal of a boy and a girl traveling down a very long road with no regard for the consequences.

  • Duke: What you lookin' at old man?

    Walt Kowalski: Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me.

  • Duke: What's happening out there?

    Rocky: He's winning... I see three of him out there!

    Paulie: Hit the one in the middle.

    Duke: Right! Hit the one in the middle.

  • Duke: Hey, Champ.

    Rocky: Hey.

    Duke: Can I come up?

    Rocky: Yeah sure.

    Duke: Some weather we're having here huh?

    Rocky: Yeah it's pretty rough.

    Duke: But it's perfect for what you gotta do it's good. Toughen you up.

    Rocky: I guess.

    Duke: I know you think you're gonna have to do everything by yourself but you know I'll be with you.

    Rocky: Yeah

    Duke: Apollo was like my son. I raised him. And when he died a part of me died. But now you're the one. You're the one that's gonna keep his spirit alive. You're the one that's gonna make sure that he didn't die for nothing. Now you're gonna have to go through hell. Worse than any nightmare you ever dreamed. But in the end, I know you'll be the one standing.

    Rocky: I'll try.

    Duke: You know what you have to do. Do it. Do it.

    Rocky: Thanks, Duke.

  • Duke: All your strength, all your power, all your love. Everything you've got. Right now!

  • Duke: He's worried! You cut him! You hurt him! You see? You see? He's not a machine, he's a man!

  • Duke: Throw the damn towel!

  • Duke: You know all there is to know about fighting, so there's no sense us going down that same old road again. To beat this guy, you need speed - you don't have it. And your knees can't take the pounding, so hard running is out. And you got arthritis in your neck, and you've got calcium deposits on most of your joints, so sparring is out.

    Paulie: I had that problem.

    Duke: So, what we'll be calling on is good ol' fashion blunt force trauma. Horsepower. Heavy-duty, cast-iron, piledriving punches that will have to hurt so much they'll rattle his ancestors. Every time you hit him with a shot, it's gotta feel like he tried kissing the express train. Yeah! Let's start building some hurtin' bombs!

  • Duke: To beat this guy, you need speed. You don't have it. And you've got calcium deposits on most of your joints, so sparring is out.

    Paulie: I had that problem.

    Duke: So what we'll be calling on is blunt force trauma. Let's start building some hurtin' bombs

  • Duke: Let's start building some hurting bombs.

  • Duke: Gettin' stronger!

  • [to Apollo, about a rematch with Rocky]

    Duke: He's all wrong for us, baby. I saw you beat that man like I never saw no man get beat before, and the man kept coming after you. Now we don't need no man like that in our lives.

  • Apollo: Do you think I beat him the last time?

    Duke: You got the decision.

    Apollo: Man, I won! But I didn't beat him!

  • Duke: [after round 1 of rematch with Balboa who is fighting right handed] Alright, did the switching bother ya?

    Apollo: Nothin' bothered me, man, nothin' bothered me.

    Duke: Well then, you should've had him! Now don't let up on this man. This man is dangerous. This man is DANGEROUS!

    Apollo: This man is dangerous? I'm dangerous! I'm dangerous!

  • [an exhausted Rocky lands a knockout punch at Apollo but sends them both falling onto the ring]

    Adrian: [shocked] Oh!

    Referee: One! Two!

    Bill Baldwin: If he gets up, Creed will regain the title! If neither of them gets up, it's a draw and Creed will win the title automatically! The count...

    Referee: Four...

    Duke: [calling to Apollo] Get up, my Man!

    Mickey: GET ON YOUR FEET!

    Adrian: [whispers] Get up.

    Referee: [Pandemonium in the stadium grows] Six! Seven!

    Paulie: [Screams] Get up!

    Referee: Eight!

    Mary Anne Creed: GET UP!

    Referee: Nine...

    [Apollo collapses; Mary Anne moans]

    Referee: [Rocky at the last second stands up] TEN! YOU'RE OUT!

    [Paulie and Adrian screams in happiness; Mickey yells]

    Bill Baldwin: He made it at the last second! Rocky Balboa has shocked the world! He is the new heavyweight champion of the world!

  • [Duke, Apollo's trainer, is finishing putting tape around Apollo's arm]

    Duke: [whispers and growls] You're the Man. You're number one. The Champ, the best of all time. Girls love you - Men, old people love you. Young people love you. You're the best. You're the Man, and he's yours. He's yours, he's yours. This bum shouldn't be in the same ring with you. I want you to show him who you are tonight.

    [Apollo practices punching on his right hand]

    Duke: Show him who you are tonight. Stick him!

  • Duke: [Fantasy sequence] What's your name?

    Séverine Serizy: Belle de jour.

    Duke: Charming. I once had a cat named Dark Beauty. Do you come here often?

    Séverine Serizy: Everyday in my thoughts.

  • Duke's Butler: [Fantasy sequence] Monsieur Duke, shall I let the cats in?

    Duke: To hell with you and your cats!

  • [last lines]

    Duke: [referring to Sefton's safe escape with Dunbar] Whadda ya know? The crud did it.

    Shapiro: I'd like to know what made him do it.

    Animal: Maybe he just wanted to steal our wire cutters. You ever think of that?

  • Hoffy: They ought to be under the barbed wire soon.

    Shapiro: Looks good outside.

    Animal: I hope they hit the Danube before dawn.

    Price: They've got a good chance. The longest night of the year.

    Duke: I'll bet they make it to Friedrichshaven.

    Animal: I bet they make it all the way to Switzerland.

    Sefton: And I bet they don't get out of the forest.

    Duke: Now what kind of crack is that?

    Sefton: No crack. Two packs of cigarettes say they don't get out of the forest.

    Hoffy: That's enough, Sefton. Crawl back in your sack.

    Shapiro: He'd make book on his own mother getting hit by a truck.

    Sefton: Anybody call?

  • [after hearing gunshots, Sefton, who bet against the escapees, glumly collects]

    Duke: Hold it, Sefton. I said hold it! So we heard some shots. So who says they didn't get away?

    Sefton: [sadly] Anybody here want to double their bet?

  • Sefton: What is this anyway, a kangaroo court? Why don't you get a rope and do it right?

    Duke: You make my mouth water.

    Sefton: You're all wire-happy, boys. You've been in this camp too long. You put two and two together and it comes out four - only it ain't four.

    Hoffy: What's it add up to you, Sefton?

    Sefton: It adds up that you got yourselves the wrong guy. Because, I'm telling you, the krauts wouldn't plant two stoolies in one barracks. And whatever you do to me, you're gonna have to do all over again when you find the right guy.

  • Duke: Come on, Trader Horn, let's hear it. What'd you give the krauts for that egg?

    Sefton: 45 cigarettes. Price has gone up.

    Duke: They wouldn't be the cigarettes you took us for last night?

    Sefton: What was I gonna do with them? I only smoke cigars.

    Duke: Niiice guy. The krauts shoot Manfredi and Johnson last night, and today he's out trading with them.

    Sefton: Look. This may be my last hot breakfast on account of they're going to take that stove out of here, so would you let me eat it in peace?

    Animal: Now ain't that too bad? Tomorrow you'll have to suck a raw egg.

    Shapiro: Oh, he don't have to worry. He can always trade the krauts for a six-burner gas range. Maybe a deep freeze, too.

    Sefton: What's the beef, boys? So I'm trading. Everybody here is trading. So maybe I trade a little sharper. That make me a collaborator?

    Duke: A lot sharper, Sefton. I'd like to have some of that loot you got in those footlockers.

    Sefton: Oh you would, would you? Listen, stupe. The first week I was in this joint, somebody stole my Red Cross package, my blanket, and my left shoe. Well, since then I've wised up. This ain't no Salvation Army - this is everybody for himself, dog eat dog.

  • The Emperor: [the tailors use strange measurements] Duke, you realize I have bigger whoopets than the Maharajah?

    Duke: Oh, congratulations, Your Majesty.

    The Emperor: Thank you. I wonder what they are. I hope it's nice.

  • Duke: I can't see a thing. I AM unfit for my office. My wife was absolutely right!

  • The Emperor: It's diamond thread! Diamond makes a spectrum, and blue and red make...

    Duke: Uh... reddy-blue?

    Prime Minister: Uh... bluey-red?

    The Emperor: Blue and red make PURPLE!

  • [first lines]

    Cody: [wielding harpoon] Let's do it!

    Otis: Hey, I think we oughta wait a minute.

    Duke: Don't go pussy on me.

    [cocks his gun]

    Otis: I'm not man, I just think...

    Duke: Don't!

    Otis: This is the stupidest goddamn thing I've ever done.

  • Duke: Now that just wasn't cricket!

    Maxx: [sneering over-exagerated British accent] Now. THAT. Just. Wasn't. CRICKET!

    [laughing snidely]

    Maxx: I can't believe you pass yourself off as a Duke!

  • Willoughby: It's all our fault. Duke and I went running to hide from the boss and I let the cow's husband out.

    Duke: He means the bull.

    Willoughby: Bull nothin' it's a fact.

  • Tim Clark: [about his eviction by Russell] Just remember Russell was acting within his legal rights.

    Duke: Legal be hanged! He promised to renew that note of yours and then wouldn't. It may be legal, all I can wish for Russell is a rough horse, a cactus saddle, and a long journey.

Browse more character quotes from G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

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