Dudley Dursley Quotes in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
Dudley Dursley Quotes:
-
Dudley Dursley: [on Dudley's birthday] How many are there?
Uncle Vernon: 36, counted them myself.
Dudley Dursley: 36! But last year, last year I had 37!
Uncle Vernon: Yes, yes, but some of them are quite a bit bigger than last year.
Dudley Dursley: I don't care how big they are!
-
Dudley Dursley: Daddy's gone mad hasn't he?
-
Harry: [writing HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY on the sand-like floor of the boat he and the Dursley's are in] Make a wish, Harry.
[looks at Dudley's watch, it is now his birthday, and blows on the dusty, sand-like floor, when someone is trying to break in, which wakes Dudley up]
Uncle Vernon: [come's into Dudley and Harry's room with a rifle and Aunt Petunia] Who's there?
[the door breaks open, and everyone screams in terror]
Hagrid: Sorry about that.
[puts door back on]
Uncle Vernon: I demand that you leave at once! You are breaking an entry!
Hagrid: [walks over to Vernon] Dry up, Dursley, you great prune!
[bends the rifle's end up and Vernon shoots and walks over to Dudley]
Hagrid: Boy, I hasn't seen yeh since you was a baby, Harry, but you're a little bit longer that I expected, especially right in the middle.
Dudley Dursley: I-I'm not Harry.
Harry: [walks over to Hagrid] I am.
Hagrid: Well, of course you are. Got somethin' for yeh, 'fraid I may have sat on it at some point, but I imagine it'll taste just the same.
[gives Harry a box]
Hagrid: Painted it myself, words and all.
[Dudley looks jealous]
Harry: [opens the box, to reveal a cake that says HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY on it] Thank you.
Hagrid: It's not every day your young man turns eleven, eh?
-
Dudley Dursley: [about presents] How many are there?
Uncle Vernon: 36, counted them myself.
-
Uncle Vernon: And Dudley, you will be?
Dudley Dursley: I'll be waiting to open the door.
Uncle Vernon: Excellent. And you?
Harry: I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don't exist.
-
Harry: But I haven't had any messages, from any of my friends. Not one, all summer.
Dudley Dursley: Who'd want to be friends with you?
-
Harry: [about Hedwig rattling in cage] But she's bored! If I could only let her out for an hour or two...
Uncle Vernon: [chuckles] So you can send secret messages to your freaky little friends, no sir.
Harry: I haven't gotten any messages... from any of my friends. Not one.
Dudley Dursley: Who'd want to be friends with you?
[nudges Harry out of way]
Uncle Vernon: I wish you'd be a little more grateful. We've raised you since you were a baby. We've given you the food at our table, you even have Dudley's second bedroom, clearly out of the goodness of our hands.
Aunt Petunia Dursley: [as Dudley tries to steal some cake] Not now, Popkins! It's for when the Msons are on.
Uncle Vernon: Which should be any minute!
[gestures everyone towards him]
Uncle Vernon: Now, let's go over our schedule once again, shall we? Petunia, when the Masons arrive, you will be-?
Aunt Petunia Dursley: In the lounge, waiting to welcome them graciously to our home!
Uncle Vernon: Good. And Dudley, you will be-?
Dudley Dursley: [in an accent] I'll be waiting to open the door.
Uncle Vernon: Excellent!
[he, Aunt Petunia, and Dudley walk toward Harry]
Uncle Vernon: And you?
Harry: I'll be in my bedroom. Making no noise and pretending I don't exist.
Uncle Vernon: Too right you are. This could well be the biggest day of my career. And you will not mess it up.
-
Harry Potter: Hey Big D. Beat up another 10 year old?
Dudley Dursley: This one deserved it.
Harry Potter: Five against one. That's very brave.
Dudley Dursley: Well you're one to talk, moaning in your sleep every night. At least I'm not afraid of my pillow. "Don't kill Cedric!" Who's Cedric, your boyfriend?
-
[deleted scene; the dursleys are departing their home]
Vernon Dursley: This isn't just goodbye, boy, is it? This is farewell.
Dudley Dursley: I don't understand. Isn't he coming with us?
Vernon Dursley: Who?
Dudley Dursley: Harry.
Vernon Dursley: Absolutely not.
Dudley Dursley: Why?
Vernon Dursley: Why?
[stammering]
Vernon Dursley: Because he doesn't want to. Do you, boy?
Harry Potter: Absolutely not, no. Besides, I'm just a waste of space. Isn't that right, Vernon?
Vernon Dursley: Come on Dudley. We're off.
[Dudley shakes Harry's hand]
Dudley Dursley: I don't think you're a waste of space.
Harry Potter: Thanks.
[Dudley goes back to the car with his parents]
Harry Potter: [Smiles at Dudley] See you, Big D.
-
Vernon Dursley: Come on Dudley, hurry up!
Dudley Dursley: I still don't understand why we have to leave.
Vernon Dursley: Because, it's not safe for us here anymore.
Browse more character quotes from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
Characters on Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
- Hermione
- Professor Severus Snape
- Hagrid
- Professor McGonagall
- Mr. Ollivander
- Molly Weasley
- George Weasley
- Fred Weasley
- Neville Longbottom
- Professor Quirrel
- Oliver Wood
- Sorting Hat
- Draco Malfoy
- Seamus Finnigan
- Uncle Vernon
- Percy Weasley
- Caretaker Argus Filch
- Dimpled Woman on Train
- Aunt Petunia
- Station Guard
- Nearly Headless Nick
- Lee Jordan
- Madame Hooch