Drug Dealer #1 Quotes in Lethal Weapon (1987)

Drug Dealer #3: [Riggs is in a Christmas tree lot, and pretends to sample some coke for a buy] Good, huh? Tasty? Smooth?

Martin Riggs: Yeah, that's good...

Drug Dealer #1: [walking up with a beer] Here ya go, pal...

Martin Riggs: Thanks. Okay, so let's do it. How much?

Drug Dealer #3: How much for how much?

Martin Riggs: For all of it.

Drug Dealer #3: You want it all. He wants it all.

Drug Dealer #1: He wants it all, beautiful. Congratulations!

Drug Dealer #3: All right!

Martin Riggs: Maybe a nice six footer to put it under, huh?

Drug Dealer #2: You want a tree? I'll tell you what. I'll give you the best tree I got on the lot, for nothin'. But the shit's gonna cost ya... a hundred.

Martin Riggs: What, that much?

Drug Dealer #3: Hey, you said you liked it, that's a fair price.

Martin Riggs: Yeah... yeah! Hell, you only live once... get this together here...

[takes out his wallet, starts counting out a hundred dollars]

Martin Riggs: Twenty, forty, sixty, seventy...

Drug Dealer #1: Hey, what the fuck...

Drug Dealer #2: Hey, man... Hey!

Martin Riggs: C'mon, shut up man, I'm losin' count... Ninety-three, ninety-four, ninety...

Drug Dealer #2: Forget it, you dumbshit. One hundred THOUSAND. One hundred THOUSAND, DOLLARS!

Martin Riggs: A hundred thousand?

[laughs]

Martin Riggs: I'm sorry, I can't afford that, not on my salary. But I'll tell ya what, I got a better idea, here. Let me say I take the whole stash of your hands for free, and you assholes can go to jail.

[takes out his badge and puts it on the table in front of them]

Martin Riggs: What do you say about that? Now I could read you guys your rights, but ah, you guys already know what your rights are, don't you?

Drug Dealer #2: [drug dealers stare, then start to laugh] This badge ain't real. YOU ain't real.

Drug Dealer #1: No, but you sure are a crazy son of a bitch!

Martin Riggs: [They all laugh] You think I'm crazy? You call me crazy, you think I'm crazy? You wanna see crazy?

[Riggs starts slapping him self on the head, Stooges style, then pokes their eyes and slaps them, and pulls out his gun]

Martin Riggs: . Now that's a real badge, I'm a real cop, and this is a real fucking gun!

Drug Dealer #2: [menacing] Okay, pal...

Martin Riggs: Hey, noses in the dirt, asshole...

[And the guns start blazin']