Drix Quotes in Osmosis Jones (2001)

Osmosis: We were so poor, we lived off peanut butter and cellulite sandwiches! You ever try to blow-dry your hair with a fart?

Drix: OK, I get it. You were poor.

Osmosis: You bet I was! You ever try to make a snowman out of toilet paper cling-ons? Now that's poor!

Drix: OK, please, you're going to make me vomit!

Osmosis: Vomit? We couldn't afford no vomit; that's for rich folk.

Drix: Excuse me while I wipe my eyes.

Osmosis: Oh, you wanna talk about wiping?

Drix: NO!

Osmosis: Next time, I'll be the bad cop.

Drix: You ARE a bad cop!

Osmosis: Yo, who you calling a bad cop?

Osmosis: In the words of the immortal James Brown - GET DOWN!

Drix: James who?

[Osmosis and Drix arrive at the zit]

Drix: My, what big zits he has. How does this happen?

Osmosis: You wash your face with fried chicken, that's how!

Drix: Where did you study?

Osmosis: Study? When you grow up on the wrong side of the digestive track, you ain't got no money for no fancy schools.

Drix: Oh...

Osmosis: I'm not kiddin', man. My school was Crack Central.

Drix: Oh?

Osmosis: No, it was IN the crack. Right in the stanky, puckered center.

Drix: Special Agent Drixobenzometaphedrimine... Drixenol! The brand that eases your coughs and sneezes. Warning - do not exceed recommended dosage. If symptoms persist, consult a physician. May cause drowsiness. Do not attempt to operate heavy machinery. Pregnant women should not handle broken tablets.

Osmosis: Wow! I'm feeling better already.

Osmosis: I never thought you'd be on MY side!

Drix: I never thought you'd be right.

Drix: I'd like to examine your irritated areas.

Osmosis: Wooh, never on the first date, Drips!

Drix: That's Drix.

Osmosis: That's what I said.

Drix: No, I believe you said Drips, with a P.

Osmosis: So, where you from, tough stuff?

Drix: I was developed at the University of Chicago, where I graduated Phi Beta Capsule.

Osmosis: Great, got me a college boy...

Drix: Attention, germs! You are surrounded! Uh-huh! Uh-huh, uh-huh, surrounded!

Osmosis: Yo, Hammer! You can stop dancing now!

Osmosis: Yo, where do you think you're going?

Drix: To get our cootie.

Osmosis: Looking like that? They'll tear you apart. You gotta get spiffy.

Drix: Spiffy?

[Osmosis rearranges himself to look like a germ]

Osmosis: Check it out!

Drix: Hmm. Flexible cellular dynamics. What an ingenious defense mechanism. Ooh, let me try!

[Drix tries, only succedes in mangling his face]

Drix: What do you think?

Osmosis: I think you should guard the car.

Thrax: What is that nasty smell?

Drix: Cherry. Wild cherry. Now let her go.

Thrax: Why? So you can ice me again?

Osmosis: No, so I can!

Drix: Virus con Dios!

Drix: I don't dance. I... I have no left feet.

Mayor Phlegming: Son, do me a favor and read what it says on your arm.

Drix: 'For the temporary relief of symptoms associated with... '

Mayor Phlegming: Exactly! Temporary. You're nothing but a wannabe, a placebo, a generic brand. Marked-down, over-the-counter, useless Tic-Tac!

Osmosis: Goodbye, Drips.

Drix: That's Drix.

Osmosis: Whatever.

Osmosis: You want Osmosis?

Drix: You've got Osmosis!

Drix: Funny. He doesn't look fluish.

Police Chief: Hey, Ozzy, can I count on you to keep Frank in shape? You know we've got that big insurance exam next month.

Osmosis: I don't know. You'll have to talk to my new parter... if he feels like hanging around for a while.

Drix: But my work visa has expired.

Osmosis: Well, we'll go down to the hemorrhoid and get you a good lawyer.

Osmosis: Man, what you been eatin'?

Drix: That's my effervescent propulsion.

Osmosis: A'ight. But we're drivin' with the windows open. I don't want none of those fruitybubbles stinking up my ride. You got that?

[Drix is at the bladder, about to board the next barge out]

Osmosis: Drix! Yo, Drix! Get your time-released butt off this boat. Thrax is alive! Let's go!

Drix: I'm sorry, Osmosis, I can't help you.

Osmosis: Excuse me?

Drix: I wasn't designed to combat a virus. Read my label.

Osmosis: You gotta learn to think outside the pill box, man. I've known sugar pills who cured cancer, just because they believed they could.

Drix: Oh, I don't know, Ozzy. Look at me. I'm cherry flavored.

Conductor: Hey, pal. You on or off?

Osmosis: Fine. Flush your life down the toilet.

Conductor: The zipper's down. All ashore who's going ashore.