Drew Quotes in I Am Number Four (2011)


Drew Quotes:

  • [first lines]

    Drew: [to Daniel] You know, showboating like that just make you look desperate.

    Kern: Yeah, "Look at me. I can flip my ski."


    Kern: Pathetic.

  • Dallas: All right, listen, whatever happens inside, the only person that can't get hurt is Kelly, all right? We all protect Kelly.

    Drew: What is this, the Titanic? Screw the women and children first shit, man.

    Dallas: Look, asshole, unless you can fly the helicopter, shut the fuck up.

  • Drew: [the mercenaries are caught in the middle of a fire fight] What happened to us just providing tactical and logistical support?

  • Drew: [Shannon is recruiting men] Count me in; I'll go.

    Shannon: Don't you want to know where and what?

    Drew: Doesn't matter. My wife's six months pregnant. Wherever we're going, it's gotta be better than sittin' around watchin' her get fat.

  • [Lewis and Drew are arguing about whether to bury the dead mountain man]

    Drew: It is a matter of the law!

    Lewis: The law! Ha! The law! What law? WHERE'S THE LAW, DREW? HUH?


    Lewis: You believe in democracy, don't you?

    Drew: Yes, I do.

    Lewis: Well, then we'll take a vote. And I'll stand by it. And SO WILL YOU.

    [points menacingly at Drew]

  • Lewis: Now you listen, Ed. Damn it, we can get out of this thing, without any questions asked. We get connected up with that body, and the law, this thing's gonna be hangin' over us the rest of our lives. We've gotta get rid of that guy.

    Drew: Just how're you gonna do that, Lewis? Where?

    Lewis: Anywhere. Everywhere. Nowhere.

  • Lewis: Anybody know anything about the law?

    Drew: I was on a jury once.

  • Drew: I'm a-goin' with you, Ed, and not with Mister Lewis Medlock, 'cause I done seen how he drives these country roads he don't know nothin' 'bout.

  • Drew: Goddamn, you play a mean banjo.

  • Drew: What are you doing?

    Jesse: Making a call. Willy likes the sound of my harmonica playing. When he hears it, he knows it's me.

    Drew: Oh, so you think your gonna play that sound on the hydrophone

    Jesse: Uh huh.

    Drew: And he's just gonna come running.

    Jesse: Uh huh.

    Drew: From miles away.

    Jesse: Yeah.

    Drew: Okay.

  • Drew: That's not what I would've done. If someone tried to kill me I wouldn't have saved him. I would've bit his butt.

    Jesse: Maybe he's smarter than we are.

    Randolph: Or more human.

  • [Stu is working on his latest invention to enter in a contest]

    Drew: What is it, an electric sponge?

    Stu: Of course not... That was last year.

  • Drew: I'm thinking I might take that new chick from Logistics. If things go well I might be showing her my O-face. "Oh... Oh... Oh!" You know what I'm talkin' about. "Oh!"

  • Drew: Hey, isn't that the girl that works over at Chotchkie's?

    Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

    Drew: Hmmm. Who's SHE here with?

    Peter Gibbons: She's with me.

    Drew: Really?

    Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

    Drew: All right, Peter! Ooh! Ooh! Right on... Make sure you wear a rubber, dude.

    Peter Gibbons: Why is that, Drew?

    Drew: Are you kidding me? She gets around. All right?

    Peter Gibbons: She does, does she?

    Drew: Oh, yeah. Like a record.

    Peter Gibbons: Like, with who?

    Drew: Oh, let's see, uh... Hell, Lumbergh fucked her. Ha ha ha. Oh, let me see who else...

  • Drew: Coffee.

    Drugstore Owner: There's no coffee in Nilbog. It's the devil's drink.

    Drew: Eggs.

    Drugstore Owner: Bleah!

    Drew: Bacon.

    Drugstore Owner: Are you crazy, boy? We're vegetarians here in Nilbog. Didn't you know that? Here's some Nilbog milk. Special milk. High in vitamin content. Here, it's free.

    Drew: Free?

    Drugstore Owner: Of course it's free. We love tourists here in Nilbog. Try some, boy, and have some of your friends drink some also.

  • Drew: Damn. there's no milk, there's no coffee. there's nothing. Guys, didn't anyone remember to bring supplies?

    Elliott: [Elliot and Brent laying in bed together] We left in too much of a hurry Drew. Go into town and do the shopping now.

    Drew: Yeah, with what? i don't have any money.

    Brent: Just take it out of the group fund.

  • Drew: Thank you for calling Vantage Lightbulb, how may I brighten up your day?

  • [about a motorcycle]

    Janey: Is it safe?

    Drew: It's the safest thing you'll ever have between your legs.

    Janey: What?

    DrewJeff: Nothing!

  • [Jeff is pushing Drew's old, corroded, smoking, brown Mercedes until the engine will start up]

    Drew: You don't understand that this car makes a statement.

    Jeff: Yeah, it says, 'Hi, I'm garbage.'

  • Drew: Patty and I have a little business to attend to. The term papers are in- Eisonhower, Johnson, Kennedy...

    Patty: Kennedy! Oh, he was so cute! How much?

    Drew: A date with me.

    Patty: I'll take Johnson.

  • Tailor: You dress left or right?

    Drew: Ughh... well, my closet's on the left side of my bed, So I guess I dress left. Except if I have to wear something out of the hamper, cause that's on the right side of the sink...

    [Straightens up and nervously talks]

    Drew: LEFT!

  • Drew: Nice car. I drive exotic wheels myself.

    Natalie: What is it? A Schwinn ten-speed?

  • Drew: Mr. Sands, Drew Gorman. Gorman Enterprises. A pleasure to make your acquaintance.

    J.P. Sands: [shaking hands] How do you do?

    Drew: Oh fine. This is a beautiful party. Must have cost a bundle though.

    J.P. Sands: Well, I'll probably recover.

    Drew: Oh, I know you will. Natalie is worth every penny of it.

    J.P. Sands: Yes, yes. Wonderful girl.

    Drew: Oh, she's terrific.

    J.P. Sands: Well, Mr. Gorman, it's certainly nice to see you.

    Drew: It was a pleasure to meet you sir.

    [they shake hands again]

    J.P. Sands: Thank you.

    Drew: [still hanging around Mr. Sands] So! How about them Cubs? I think it's their year!

  • Drew: [At The Court] You'd be great at a game called Tune in Tokyo. Now you must put your hands behind your head and say, beep, beep, beep... and twist at the waist

    Tiffany: beep... beep... beep

    [as she moves waist from side to side]

    Drew: Picture this: it's WWII and our ship is going down in the middle of the Pacific and our only hope is the short wave radio.

    [Drew puts his hands on Tiffany's breasts and twists them as if they were radio knobs]

    Drew: Tune in, Tokyo! Tune in Tokyo!...

    Tiffany: [Tiffany hits him with her purse and stomps off]

  • Drew: I can only assume by your cavalier attitude that you have yet partake in the wonderment that is the Pancakewich. Allow me to enlighten you. What happens is the one true god grows Panecakewiches on trees in the Elitian fields using a mystical incantation, he then proceeds to magick them down to your local eatery where whatever societal reject Griddlworld has rescued off the dole that week gently wraps them in cellophane and passes them along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched tastebuds can somehow comprehend the delectable intricacies that face them. Is that egg? Why yes, yes it is. And bacon too. But wait, did they...? They didn't. Yes, they did, they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friend, they wrapped it in a sumptuous pancake bun. As your tastebuds try to process that amazing piece of information, it hits them: the syrup nugget. The motherfucking syrup nugget. It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your pallet has never seen!

  • Club Patron: That'll be another $120!

    Tucker Max: [to the Feminist girls] Holy shit! You guys aren't worth that much

    Melissa: [smugly] Oh our company is priceless.

    Drew: If it lacks a price... It's probably worthless.

  • Drew: Oh, I'm onto your game, De Nils. Diamonds are worthless other than the value attached to them by the silly tramps you have brain washed into thinking that diamonds equal love. Guess what, sluts? Your quest for the perfect princess cut supports terrorism and genocide. Congratulations, your avarice has managed to destroy an entire continent!

  • Drew: Greetings. Uh... the army men the good guys? I see you have some robot truck men here too. You shouldn't mix genres like that. It screws up your morale and jeopardizes the efficacy of your tactics. Okay, I guess we can work with it. What exactly are you playing?

    Jack: Well, the GI Bobs are gonna surprise attack those Legos.

    Drew: I know that you are but 7 years old. This rigmarole you have here just won't work. Your flanks are exposed. You're vulnerable to an enfilade from Lego artillery. I think it's time that you learn the proper way to set up an L-shaped ambush.

    Jack: What's a flank?

    Drew: It's a good thing I came.

  • Drew: Dance monkey! Dance for your dollar!

  • Tucker Max: Exercise is supposed to be good, let's play some hoops.

    Drew: We have class... That place we pay 35 grand a year to attend between happy hours.

    Tucker Max: Eh, that place is dumb.

  • Bruce: I have something you don't have. Do you know what that is?

    Drew: Type 2 diabetes.

    Bruce: Heart. Corazón... You know.

  • Drew: Women like that use guys like you to get advise about guys like me.

  • Drew: [discussing what could happen in Paul were in the psych ward permanently] I definitely don't want any bloody kids coming here and stealing cars and such.

    Graham: Well that's exactly what might happen. Or worse.

    Mary: What could be worse?

    Graham: What if the place were bought by an American?

    [everyone gives a horrified gasp]

    Drew: It's our duty as a community to gather round one of our number who has hit a dark patch on life's long and winding road.

  • Drew: Pretending to be a loony's wife to spring him from hospital? Yes, I suspect that's highly illegal!

    Graham: Oh, so we could have you arrested for not arresting us.

  • Graham: So, don't go trying to kill yourself again.

    Drew: Apart from anything else, it's against the law.

    Graham: It's illegal see?

    Paul Kerr: No, I won't. Too many interesting things going on.

  • Drew: There's no reason for you not to try.

    Elizabeth: That's such a silly idea.

    Drew: But, is it a bad one?

  • Drew: I was you once. You just gotta live. Feel it out. You know, this isn't some giant test. There is nothing to study for. So... there's no right answers. Life's gonna take you a lot of places. Just don't forget the people you love.

  • Drew: And who would've thought... you, an IRS agent.

    Joe Black: Death and Taxes.

  • Drew: We all know this deal is as certain as death and taxes.

    Joe Black: Death and taxes?

    Drew: Yes.

    Joe Black: *Death* and taxes?

    Drew: Yes.

    Joe Black: What an odd pairing.

  • Drew: It's just life, Quincie. Wake up and smell the thorns.

  • Drew: THAT'S my BITCH!

  • Drew: You really think you can surf it for real out there?

    Anne Marie: Well, Drew, I dated you, I guess I can do anything.

  • Drew: [to Matt] Sorry if my pits stink man, but that's just the way it goes!

  • Drew: [kicking Flipper out after his infidelity] There will be no penis between us!

  • Drew: It did that to your face?

    Brad: I'd take a guy with a gun any day.

  • Kelly: Oh Drew, there was this horrible voice, on the telephone...

    Drew: A heavy breather?

    Kelly: No, worse than that!

    Drew: He turned you on, didn't he? I ought to try that sometime.

    Kelly: I'm serious!

    Drew: So am I!

  • Drew: It seems that most people are trying to find something... or someone.

  • Drew: Isaac says we can't know what will happen.

    Ofelia: Forget about Isaac. The line is a delicate chain of cause and effect too precious to break. You live the life, you pay the price. And the price of seeing the future... is seeing the future.

  • Drew: I don't do dairy.

    Tucker: Do what to dairy?

    Drew: Is this meatloaf? I don't eat meat.

    Tucker: Why not, are you a Buddhist?

  • Tucker: What is this?

    Drew: Soy milk.

    Tucker: This is disgusting.

    Drew: You get used to it.

  • Drew: I'm hungry. Are you hungry?

    Tucker: Haven't had a decent meal in fifty years.

  • [last lines]

    Drew: I still don't like the ending.

    Tucker: Then change it.

Browse more character quotes from I Am Number Four (2011)