Dr. Watson Quotes in The Great Mouse Detective (1986)

Sherlock Holmes: I observe that there is a good deal of German music on the program. It is quite introspective, and I want to introspect.

Dr. Watson: But, Holmes, that music is so frightfully dull.

Sherlock Holmes: While Sherlock is gone, he will pass on one or two of his less urgent assignments to his brother, Sigerson.

[clock goes off]

Dr. Watson: Holmes! You never told me you had a brother, Sigerson.

Sherlock Holmes: I never told you I had a brother Mycroft... until the occasion arose.

Dr. Watson: Well, who is the fellow?

Sherlock Holmes: Sigerson is my younger brother. And he has spent the past thirty years getting hopelessly twisted in my shadow.

Dr. Watson: Extremely jealous, is he?

Sherlock Holmes: Mm, something of the sort.

Dr. Watson: Love and hate, eh?

Sherlock Holmes: I should say hate... and dislike.

Dr. Watson: Holmes, how will you ever repay him?

Sherlock Holmes: By playing the violin, Watson. By playing the violin.

Dr. Watson: Believe it or not, I'm every bit Holmes's equal as a detective.

Lord Smithwick: [scoffing] Dr. Watson...

Dr. Watson: Ha ha, I happen to know that you recently recovered from an illness; that you smoke a pipe, ah!, probably, uh, rosewood; and you spent time in China...

Inspector Lestrade: [interrupting] Sorry, doctor, this is no time for parlor games.

Dr. Watson: I'm not playing parlor games-...

Inspector Lestrade: Doctor, this is a matter for professionals!

Sherlock Holmes: [bursting in] You've got to help me! There's two big men...

Dr. Watson: Holmes, you're back - so good to see you! My, this is a clever disguise - a drunken lout. Ha, very realistic.

Sherlock Holmes: There's two - this one big fellow...

Dr. Watson: Ah, excuse us just a moment.

[He whisks Holmes into the next room; after some banging about they return, now calm]

Dr. Watson: Gentlemen, Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes: Ah, Lestrade. It's good to see the department's letting you out at night again. Lord Smithwick - trouble at the exchequer?

Lord Smithwick: Well, to be honest - Wait, how did you know?

Sherlock Holmes: The same way that I can tell you recently recovered from an illness; smoke a pipe, probably rosewood; and have spent some time in...

Dr. Watson: [prompting] China.

Sherlock Holmes: China.

Lord Smithwick: AMAZING!

Sherlock Holmes: Thank you. Uh, uh, Lord, uh, Smithwick, um, before we start, perhaps a... little sherry?

Lord Smithwick: I wish we could. But the matter which brings me here involves the fate of the entire Empire.

Sherlock Holmes: I see. Perhaps a whiskey, then?

Sherlock Holmes: What are you doing?

Dr. Watson: Thinking.

Sherlock Holmes: Right. I'm going to think too.

[Long pause]

Sherlock Holmes: What shall we think about, Watson?

[Watson reveals the ongoing deception to his publisher]

Greenhough: We'll start at the beginning, shall we?

Dr. Watson: It was about nine years ago. One of my patients was a Scotland Yard inspector investigating the Paxton murder case. I give him the name of the murderer, but gave credit to a, heh, nonexistent detective. At the time, I was hoping for an appointment to the staff of a rather conservative medical college; I... knew that they'd frown on my little, uh...

Greenhough: Hobby...

Dr. Watson: Exactly. Well, I didn't get the appointment. Instead, what I got was a quite unanticipated public demand to meet this "Sherlock Holmes."

Greenhough: So you hired this Reginald Kincaid.

Dr. Watson: He was an actor. Unfortunately, he was also a gambler, a womanizer, and a drunkard.

Greenhough: John, you have jeopardized the integrity of English literature! Still, I should have known. He was always borrowing large sums of money off me and, uh, never paying me back.

Dr. Watson: The cad!

Greenhough: Oh, don't worry, we deducted it from your royalties.

[Watson tries working without "Holmes"]

Dr. Watson: That's right. John Watson, the Crime Doctor.

Bobby at Warehouse: Crime Doctor? Never heard of him. Though, uh, your name sounds a bit familiar.

Dr. Watson: [grudgingly] All right. I am Dr. John Watson, author of the Sherlock Holmes mysteries.

Bobby at Warehouse: [warming] Sherlock Holmes?

Dr. Watson: Yesssss.

Bobby at Warehouse: THE Sherlock Holmes?

Dr. Watson: Yesssss.

Bobby at Warehouse: Me and the wife... has read every one of his stories.

Dr. Watson: All right. Now, if you'll excuse...

Bobby at Warehouse: But I'm sorry, doctor. I still can't let you in. Strict orders about that, I'm afraid. Uh, Mr. Holmes, did he, uh, send you here?

Dr. Watson: He certainly did not!

Bobby at Warehouse: Well, perhaps the next time you should check with him first, eh? Save yourself a trip.

Inspector Lestrade: His Lordship wishes to see Mr. Holmes.

Dr. Watson: I'm sorry to say he's not here at the moment.

Lord Smithwick: Oh, how disappointing.

Inspector Lestrade: Sir, as I said before, I really don't think Mr. Holmes' involvement in this case is at all necessary.

Dr. Watson: I quite agree.

Inspector Lestrade: You do?

Dr. Watson: However, the Crime Doctor is at your disposal.

Inspector Lestrade: Who the deuce is the Crime Doctor?

Sherlock Holmes: Ah, now, now, we know for a fact that Giles was on the boat.

Dr. Watson: No, we don't.

Sherlock Holmes: Oh. Well, we do know for a fact that Giles arrived in Windermere.

Dr. Watson: No he didn't.

Sherlock Holmes: (He didn't? I thought he did.) Ah. Well, we really know that Giles was behind the theft of the printing plates.

Dr. Watson: No, he wasn't.

Leslie: Oh, you brave, brave man!

Sherlock Holmes: Danger is my trade - but not yours. It's unsafe for you to sleep alone tonight, unattended.

Dr. Watson: Yes, we insist you stay with us.

Leslie: Oh, but, but surely I'd be an imposition.

Sherlock Holmes: Think nothing of it, my dear.

Dr. Watson: Indeed. Holmes will be working... all night anyway, so you can have his room.

[Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty prepare to have a swordfight on the stage of the Orpheum Theater]

Professor James Moriarty: Ordinarily I do not bother with half-wits and buffoons.

[Holmes reaches to draw a sword from nearby, but grabs Mrs. Hudson's umbrella by accident]

Holmes: Buffoons, is it?

[Moriarty looks annoyed. Realizing his mistake, Holmes quickly tosses the umbrella aside and draws a sword for real this time]

Holmes: Buffoon, is it?

Mrs. Hudson: [Looking on with Dr. Watson] He'll be killed!

Dr. Watson: I quite doubt it, Mrs. Hudson. He's in his element now.

[Holmes and Watson enter a home and Watson picks up the mail]

Dr. Watson: Oh, a French postcard.

Holmes: Really?

[he takes the card from Watson]

Holmes: I know a chap who collected these once. He had this wonderful one... two women... oh, it's just a picture of the Eiffel Tower.

Dr. Watson: But it's time now for the public to learn the truth!

Greenhough: The - truth?

Dr. Watson: Certainly. No one will want to read of that twit again. His popularity will plummet. They'll be desperate for my new creation.

Greenhough: What new creation?

Dr. Watson: John Watson, the Crime Doctor! I can have it ready for your very next issue.

Dr. Watson: How do you know that?

Sherlock Holmes: Don't you ever read the Times, Watson? I've often advised you to do so, if you want to know something.

Dr. Watson: What do you suppose that is?

Sherlock Holmes: It looks remarkably like a grave.

Dr. Watson: A grave? But that's not large enough to burry a dog in.

Sherlock Holmes: Be careful, Watson, don't spoil the footprints. Leave that to the Inspector.

Dr. Watson: What could possibly be is buried there?

Sherlock Holmes: Clothes... very old clothes.

Inspector Cooper: Whiskey in the handle of a walking stick.

Prof. Moriarty: I always find it helps to take a small drink when it's chilly in London, Mr. Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes: Thank you, I never drink before six.

Prof. Moriarty: Would the Inspector like one?

Inspector Cooper: [about to take a sip, but changes his mind] No, never on duty.

Prof. Moriarty: Doctor Watson?

Dr. Watson: No thanks, I am not in the least chilly today.

Prof. Moriarty: What a shame.

Sherlock Holmes: There are still some gaps to be filled in, but all in all, things are becoming a little clearer.

Dr. Watson: Not to me, I assure you. It's still a hopeless jumble. Mr. Franklin, Doctor Mortimer, the Barrymans... put it all together and what have you got?

Sherlock Holmes: Murder, my dear Watson. Refined, cold-blooded murder.

Dr. Watson: Murder?

Sherlock Holmes: There's no doubt about it in my mind. Or perhaps I should say, in my imagination. For that's where crimes are conceived and where they're solved... in the imagination.

Dr. Watson: It's a pity you didn't think about bringing that infernal violin of yours... to regale me with some of your enchanting music!

Sherlock Holmes: I *did*, my dear Watson! Anything to oblige!

[he whips out the violin and begins to play]

Dr. Watson: Then, why are we rushing up to London, leaving Sir Henry entirely unprotected?

Sherlock Holmes: We're not, my dear Watson. We're just giving the impression of rushing up to London.

Sherlock Holmes: The only way is to catch him red handed. To catch him in such a way that there's no escape, no alibi. That means gambling with Sir Henry's life.

Dr. Watson: [horrified] But you can't poss...

Sherlock Holmes: Gambling to save his life. But we've got to take that chance.

Sherlock Holmes: Do you remember that missing boot, Watson? Why do you suppose the brown one, the one that had never been worn, was so mysteriously replaced and the black one taken?

Dr. Watson: Why?

Sherlock Holmes: Because a boot that had never been worn wouldn't have had the scent of the owner... and the black one had!

Sherlock Holmes: [a portrait that he has just seen fascinates him] You must... you must dine with us before you sail.

Sir Henry Baskerville: Well, there's the old boy himself... Sir Hugo. Hugo, the Beast of the Baskervilles.

Dr. Watson: Not a bad bit of brush work. By Ransome, one of the minor painters.

Sir Henry Baskerville: Oh, I don't imagine it's very valuable.

Sherlock Holmes: I can't quite agree with you, Sir Henry.

Sherlock Holmes: [ominously] One day, it might prove to be of the greatest value.

Dr. Watson: Holmes, my good man. You're in love!

Dr. Watson: I say, Holmes, you are an odd chap, why have you kept that photograph all these years?

Sherlock Holmes: Oh, I don't know - there was a familiar - charming something - about the eyes - that reminded me of her sister - the girl I met on the roadside that day. I don't know what ever became of her. After her sister's death, I wrote, asking if I could be of assistance - but she never answered - I...

[last lines]

Dr. Watson: Amazing, Holmes!

Sherlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary.