Dr. Lessing Quotes in Life Is Beautiful (1997)

Guido: Dr. Lessing!

Dr. Lessing: Hello!

[notices the flowers]

Dr. Lessing: What are the flowers for?

Guido: [thinks fast] Ah... for your departure!

[hands him the flowers]

Dr. Lessing: Thank you!

Dr. Lessing: [softly reciting riddle at Nazi concentration camp officers' mess] Fat, fat, ugly, ugly, all yellow in reality. If you ask me what I am, I reply "Quark quark quark".

[looks around surreptitiously]

Dr. Lessing: Walking along, I go "Por-por". Who am I? Tell me true.

Guido: [looks at Doctor Lessing in stunned silence]

Dr. Lessing: [smiles] Hmphh... a duckling, no?

Guido: [nods silently, still flabbergasted]

Guido: Is it not a duckling?

[angrily]

Guido: It's not! A veterinarian friend of mine sent it to me from Vienna. I can't send him mine, until I solve this one. I thought: Duck-billed platypus. But it doesn't go "Quark quark quark quark". A duck-billed platypus goes...

[pulls at corners of mouth with fingers, making a blowing sound]

Guido: "Ffrrr ffrrr-ffrrr ffrrr-ffrrr". Duck-billed platypus...

[steps forward and whispers into Guido's ear]

Guido: I translated it into Italian for you last night. Well, what do you say? Everything points to a duckling!

[assumes tragic tone and expression]

Guido: Help me, Guido. For heaven's sake, help me. I can't even sleep.

[turns to side counter, talking to self]

Guido: Fat, fat... ugly, ugly... that's me... quark quark quark... It's the duckling!

[wails and thumps side counter in frustration]

Guido: [slowly and silently walks away, crestfallen at Doctor Lessing's callous, comic-tragic behavior]

Dr. Lessing: I have something important to tell you. Wait for my signal.