Dr. Keats Quotes in 50 First Dates (2004)

Dr. Keats: And now ladies and gentlemen I would like to introduce you to our most distinguished clinical subject: Tom

Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom.

Henry: Henry.

Marlin: Marlin.

Doug: Doug.

Lucy: Lucy.

Ten Second Tom: Hi. Oh, those are cool flip flops. Where did you get them?

Doug: You like those? It's interesting story. I was over on the North Shore the other day...

Ten Second Tom: Hi, I'm Tom.

Henry: Henry.

Ten Second Tom: Hi.

Marlin: Marlin.

Dr. Keats: [to Marlin] Sometimes I wish my wife had Goldfield Syndrome. That way she wouldn't remember last night when I called her mother a loud, obnoxious drunk with a face like J. Edgar Hoover's ass.

Dr. Keats: All I know about walruses is that out of all mammals they have the second largest penis. I have the first.

Henry: That's my joke.

Dr. Keats: It could be worse.

Lucy: Yeah? How?

Dr. Keats: I think you should meet ten second Tom.

Dr. Keats: Tom lost part of his brain in a hunting accident. His memory only lasts ten seconds.

Ten Second Tom: I was in an accident? That's terrible.

Dr. Keats: Don't worry, you're totally gonna get over it in about three seconds.

Ten Second Tom: Get over it? I mean, what happened? Did I get shot in the brain... Hi. I'm Tom.

Dr. Keats: Little Sammy Sosa's a bit shook up, but she'll be okay. She's watching the tape as we speak.

Henry: Good. How's my temporal lobe looking there, Doc?

Dr. Keats: Don't worry. You're not gonna suffer any short term memory loss. But was your head shaped like an egg before she hit you?

Doug: Hey! Don't make fun of Henry, all right? It'th not hith fault hith head'th thaped like that!

Dr. Keats: Note the intense overreaciton. That's the 'roids talking.

Dr. Keats: Sometimes I wish my wife had Goldfield Syndrome. That way she wouldn't remember last night when I called her mother, a loud obnoxious drunk with a face like J. Edgar Hoover's ass.

Dr. Keats: Callahan Institute is the leading brain injury clinic in the Pacific Rim. We are funded out of Sandusky Ohio by T.B. Callahan, the automotive components tycoon...

[fade out]