Dr. Fritz Fassbender Quotes in What's New Pussycat (1965)

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: My father, the most beloved gynecologist in Vienna, before they took him away on a morals charge for indecent exposure at the State Opera House, said, and I quote: "Please do not take me away, I will not do it again."

Victor Skakapopulis: Brilliant quote.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: He was a brilliant pervert.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: You're grotesque!

Anna Fassbender: Lascivious adulterer!

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Don't you dare call me that again until I have looked it up!

Anna Fassbender: Is she prettier than me?

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Is she prettier than you? I'M prettier than YOU!

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I am a doctor of the mind.

Victor Skakapopulis: Really?

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Yes!

Victor Skakapopulis: I have terrible emotional problems. Could you help me?

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: You certainly picked a very odd time to ask me, just in the middle of a suicide.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Silence when you're shouting at me!

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: You'll like this group analysis, it's a real freak show. If it gets dull, we sing songs.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: If it fails, then we'll try something else, because I use all kinds of unorthodox methods. For example, I've had the greatest success shutting people in dark closets.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: [leafing through a dictionary] "Lascivious adulterer... a man who is a lascivious adulterer"? What kind of book is this?

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I'll see you next Friday - I've got a few phone calls to make.

Michael James: But I haven't finished - I've only been here fifteen minutes.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I can't take more than fifteen minutes of your sex life at one time.

Anna Fassbender: [delivers a Wagnerian Valkyrie yodel]

Rita: Who is that thing?

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: That is no thing, it's my wife!

Victor Skakapopulis: Do you have any salt?

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Have I got any salt? I got a boat, I got kerosene, matches, firecrackers, two swords, and this flag. But, I ain't got no salt.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: My wife, the creature that ate Europe, is here.

Michael James: In Britain, we have a national therapy, we call it cricket. Unlike other sports, it doesn't involve anxieties or pressures. It's leisurely and lyrical. It's the song of willow on leather.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Is there any sex in it?

Michael James: Oh, no. This is a game for gentlemen, played by gentlemen.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: It's sick, sick.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I, uh, decided to follow you here.

Michael James: If you followed me here, how did you contrive to be here before me?

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I followed you... very fast.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: May I explain that what you see happening here is merely an illusion...

Anna Fassbender: An illusion?

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: An illusion. Shut the door, count three...

Anna Fassbender: Three?

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Four, if you like, but close the door and you'll see it's just an illusion.

Mayor's clerk: I can't spell Sigismund.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I think that you have a little sexual block over the spelling of that naughty name. Allow me to help you, I'm a psychoanalyst, among other things.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: I've hated you from the first moment I married you!

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: When did all this come to an end?

Michael James: It didn't come to an end! That's the point.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: You are a monster and a monster, in that order.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: My darling! Your face is like the pale autumn moon!

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: [Addressing group therapy class] Where did we leave off last session?

Durell - Mental Patient: When the train entered the tunnel.

Dr. Fritz Fassbender: Pointing to Rita "This is a personal friend of James Bond"