Dr. Dolittle Quotes in Doctor Dolittle (1967)
Dr. Dolittle Quotes:
Dr. Dolittle: I do not understand the human race/Has so little love for creatures with a different face./Treating animals like people is no madness or disgrace./I do not understand the human race.
Polynesia: I speak over two thousand languages, including Dodo and Unicorn.
Dr. Dolittle: Unicorn?
Polynesia: I had a classical education.
Emma Fairfax: I promise to ask for no special privileges.
Dr. Dolittle: I promise to grant none
Emma Fairfax: If I were his nephew instead of his niece...
Dr. Dolittle: If you were his nephew, you'd hardly be called Emma Fairfax.
Dr. Dolittle: [consulting a medical book] This fellow obviously knows what he's talking about.
Matthew: Who wrote the book, Doctor?
Dr. Dolittle: [suddenly realizing] Er... oh, *I* did.
Dr. Dolittle: Oh it's from Long Arrow.
Matthew: Who's he when he's at home?
Dr. Dolittle: An old friend of mine. He's a Red Indian gentleman.
Matthew: With a name like "Long Arrow" I didn't think he'd be Irish.
Dr. Dolittle: [talking about learning goldfish] Most fish languages are a combination of bubbles and mouth movement. At the moment, all I can make is large bubbles and they keep telling me I'm shouting.
Emma Fairfax: General Bellowes...
Dr. Dolittle: He certainly does.
Emma Fairfax: General Bellowes is my uncle.
Dr. Dolittle: I'm sorry.
Emma Fairfax: Is that an apology?
Dr. Dolittle: I'm sorry he's your uncle.
Emma Fairfax: What are you trying to say?
Dr. Dolittle: What?
Emma Fairfax: I mean, why don't you say what you mean?
Dr. Dolittle: What do you mean, say what I mean?
Emma Fairfax: [singing] For a month or more/I have listened and dreamed/While the moon has glistened and a million stars have gleamed/Waiting/
Dr. Dolittle: Waiting?
Emma Fairfax: Waiting/
Dr. Dolittle: What for?
Emma Fairfax: What for!/For a man I know who is clever and kind/But a man who never, ever seems to know his mind/Waiting/Waiting/Waiting for you to say you like me/Or hate me/Or miss me/Or kiss me/Or something/But nothing!/Nothing do you say at all!/Little wonder I feel sorely/Neglected/Unwanted/Rejected/And small/Little more than two feet tall!
Dr. Dolittle: Well, it's true/We do not live in a zoo/But Man is an animal too./So why can't you, like me/Like animals?
Dr. Dolittle: Hello... Me Doctor Dolittle. Here little boy, late for school, here very cold. They all go home "Puddleby," yes?
Willie Shakespeare: [in perfect English] What a funny accent.
Dr. Dolittle: If one place is as good as any other, it's high time we decided. Otherwise when we get there, we won't know we've arrived.
Dr. Dolittle: Tell me, Stubbins... what would you do if you had two heads?
Tommy Stubbins: I'd join a circus, sir!
Dr. Dolittle: Exactly.
Dr. Dolittle: [singing about why he's a vegetarian] I stay away from deviled ham on principle/I wouldn't eat roast duckling if I could/Willpower has made me invincible!/My word, those sausages look good...
Dr. Dolittle: [Archie burps] Hey! Don't you dare throw up on me!
Archie: [Groaning] Ooh! That's not where it's gonna come out. Ooh!
Charisse: What am I supposed to do without my cell phone?
Dr. Dolittle: Here's some stamps. Learn how to write a letter or something.
Steve Irwin (II): I am here with Dr. Dolittle, who can actually talk with animals. We're here about to capture this alligator right behind us, The trick to capturing this guy is to put your arms around his neck...
Alligator: Hey, Dolittle, What I'm doing is letting Steve think I don't hear him, when he comes for me, I'm gonna turn around and, Bob's your uncle, snap his arm off!
[Steve is still talking to camera]
Dr. Dolittle: Steve, I think he knows we're here.
Steve Irwin (II): Quiet, I don't wanna spoil the element of surprise, NOW!
Steve Irwin (II): Crikey! Me arm!
Dr. Dolittle: You'll be the most famous bear in the world!
Archie: Bigger than Pooh?
Dr. Dolittle: If you get this right, everybody will be saying Winnie the Who!
Rat #1: [Rat 1# and Rat# 2 are being held over a balcony] Hey! you know what rats spell backwards? Star!
Dr. Dolittle: Well, do you know what hot spells backwards?
Rat #1: I don't know. it sounds like
[Rats are dropped]
Rat #1: Tooahhhh!
Dr. Dolittle: Exactly!
Rat #1: [the rats land in dumpster] Do you know what this is?
Rat #2: Yes it is! Diapers!
Rat #1: My Favorite! Chocolate!
Dr. Dolittle: Alright, Archie, I'm not playing anymore. I want you to come out of there right now, you big coward!
Archie: Uh, excuse me, but who are you calling a coward?
[comes out of the cave]
Dr. Dolittle: You! I'm calling you a coward! You're a big coward for quitting like this!
Archie: Well, it's hard.
Dr. Dolittle: You wanna know what hard is, Archie? My wife is mad at me, my daughter's mad at me, and I'm spending my vacation with a pizza boy who greets me by saying "Hey, Dr. D, what's up?" Now I'm listening to a big furry baby saying that he wants to quit 'cause it's too hard!
Archie: Well, Ava laughed at me.
Dr. Dolittle: Oh, boo hoo! Ava laughed at me! I love her and I need her and she laughed at me! You know what? You don't even deserve Ava! Why would she want to spend her life with a coward like you?
[pokes Archie on the nose]
Archie: Hey, don't poke the bear, buddy.
Dr. Dolittle: Oh, I didn't poke a bear, 'cause if I poked a bear, a bear would be mauling me, so I don't know what I poked, but it sure as hell ain't no bear!
[pokes Archie again]
Archie: Hey, I'm warning you.
Dr. Dolittle: Yeah, and I'm poking you!
Archie: Stop it.
Dr. Dolittle: Alright, poke, poke, poke!
Archie: Alright, that's it.
[pushes Dolittle over the edge]
Archie: Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Dr. Dolittle: Uh-oh, what? What's the problem?
Archie: Ice cream is acting up.
Dr. Dolittle: What ice cream?
Archie: I got depressed after Sonny and Ava, and I went on a bender. And by the second gallon, I realized I'm in love with Ava and this ice cream called "Cherry Garcia."
Dr. Dolittle: [Trapped in the restroom while Archie is using the toilet] Oh, Archie!
Archie: [Breaks Wind] Oh, it ain't that bad. Come on. Whoo!
Dr. Dolittle: How smart do you have to be to pull your head out of the water when you can't breathe?
Dr. Dolittle: You're an endangered species!
Archie: Is that a threat, buddy?
Racoon: Hey Doc. These are some nice wheels here what do ya call this thing?
Dr. Dolittle: Oh, this is a Mustang.
Possum: Hey Doc is there a car named after me?
Dr. Dolittle: Naw, I don't think they make a Possum.
Possum: WHY NOT?
Dr. Dolittle: They usually don't make cars named after rodents.
Dr. Dolittle: What are you guys, some kind of animal Mafia?
Raccoon: Mafia? Whoa, we don't know nothing about no Mafia. No, that's a myth.
Dr. Dolittle: [after Archie pushes him over the edge] You know what, Archie? Just take your ass back to the circus!
Dr. Dolittle: How would you like to meet the man of your dreams?
Ava: You're real cute but I don't go inter-species.
Animal Control Officer: Now, there's nothing more dangerous than a half-sedated, half-unsedated bear. They have big, sharp teeth and claws and...
Dr. Dolittle: [interrupts] Excuse me, I'm Doctor Dolittle. What happened in here?
Animal Control Officer: Oh, well, he broke down the back door and then we found him ransacking the kitchen.
Dr. Dolittle: No...
Animal Control Officer: Yeah, sorry Doctor Dolittle, I was rooting for you.
Judge B. Duff: Doctor Dolittle? Do you feel you could rehabilitate a tame bear and mate it in the wild with a female?
Dr. Dolittle: Yes, I do, your honor.
Judge B. Duff: Well, in that case, I'll grant a one month's delay on the harvesting of Campbell's Grove. For one month, Doctor Dolittle, and that's it.
Dr. Dolittle: Thank you, sir.
Judge B. Duff: And Doctor, if that bear should so much as set one paw in a campsite or this town, I'll rescind this order immediately.
Dr. Dolittle: I understand completely your honor, thank you your honor, thank you.
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