Dr. Beeper Quotes in Caddyshack (1980)

Spalding Smails: Turds.

Judge Smails: Spaulding, how many times have I spoken to you about your language?

Spalding Smails: Sorry grandpa I forgot.

Judge Smails: Oh Dr. Beeper, Bishop Pickering this is my niece Lacey Underall. Lacey's mother sent her to us for the summer.

Dr. Beeper: Must be a nice change from dreary old Manhattan.

Lacey Underall: Yes I was really getting tired of having fun all the time.

Judge Smails: Ah. Ho ho. Ha ha ha.

Spalding Smails: Double turds.

Judge Smails: *Spaulding*!

Dr. Beeper: I thought you'd be the man to beat this year.

Ty Webb: I guess you'll just have to keep beating yourself.

Judge Smails: I demand satisfaction.

Al Czervik: [mocking] You demand satisfaction? Well I'll tell you what's satisfying: *cash*. I'll shoot you 18 holes for ten thousand bucks!

Judge Smails: [laughs] Wha... I could beat you with one arm!

Al Czervik: Well, how about teams then, for twenty thousand? You can have Dr. Frankenputz...

Dr. Beeper: [mortified] I beg your pardon!

Al Czervik: And I'll take Ty, here.

Ty Webb: Wait a minute guys... I don't play golf... for money... against people.