Doug Beech Quotes in Airheads (1994)

Milo: I'm gonna need you to come in tomorrow. I'm cutting loose a lot of dead weight. There's gonna be a lot going on here.

Doug Beech: Oh, boy...

Milo: Problem?

Doug Beech: Well, I've been having a little bit of itching on my, um...

[Milo waits]

Doug Beech: I mean, it could be hemorrhoids.

Milo: I don't wanna hear that.

Doug Beech: No, I know. It's just that I made an appointment with my proctologist to get some type of... cream or something.

Carl Mace: You got any kind of training?

Doug Beech: Well, I was in the Merchant Marines.

Carl Mace: Marines. Yeah, I copy.

[gets distracted for a moment]

Doug Beech: But, I was an accountant.

Carl Mace: Nah, you won't be held accountable.