Dorothy Michaels Quotes in Tootsie (1982)

Dorothy Michaels: Thank you, Gordon. Well, I cannot tell you all how deeply moved I am. I never in my wildest dreams imagined that I would be the object of so much genuine affection. It makes it all the more difficult for me to say what I'm now going to say. Yes. I do feel it's time to set the record straight. You see, I didn't come here just as an administrator, Dr. Brewster; I came to this hospital to settle an old score. Now you all know that my father was a brilliant man; he built this hospital. What you don't know is that to his family, he was an unmerciful tyrant - a absolute dodo bird. He drove my mother, his wife, to - to drink; in fact, she - uh, she she she went riding one time and lost all her teeth. The son Edward became a recluse, and the oldest daughter - the pretty one, the charming one - became pregnant when she was fifteen years old and was driven out of the house. In fact, she was so terrified that she would, uh, that, uh, that, that, that the baby daughter would bear the stigma of illegitimacy that she, she - she decided to change her name and she contracted a disfiguring disease... after moving to Tangiers, which is where she raised the, the, the little girl as her sister. But her one ambition in life - besides the child's happiness - was to become a nurse, so she returned to the States and joined the staff right here at Southwest General. Well, she worked here, she knew she had to speak out wherever she saw injustice and inhumanity. God save us, you do understand that, don't you, Dr. Brewster?

John Van Horne: I never laid a hand on her.

Dorothy Michaels: Yes, you did. And she was shunned by all you nurses, too... and by a, what do you call it, what do you call it, a - something like a pariah, to you doctors who found her idealistic and reckless. But she was deeply, deeply, deeply, deeply, deeply, deeply loved by her brother. It was this brother who, on the day of her death, swore to the good Lord above that he would follow in her footsteps, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just, just owe it all up to her. But on her terms. As a woman. And just as proud to be a woman as she ever was. For I am not Emily Kimberly, the daughter of Dwayne and Alma Kimberly. No, I'm not. I'm Edward Kimberly, the recluse brother of my sister Anthea. Edward Kimberly, who has finally vindicated his sister's good name. I am Edward Kimberly. Edward Kimberly. And I'm not mentally ill, but proud, and lucky, and strong enough to be the woman that was the best part of my manhood. The best part of myself.

John Van Horne: I'm just an untalented old has-been.

Dorothy Michaels: Were you ever famous?

John Van Horne: No.

Dorothy Michaels: Then how can you be a has-been?

Ron Carlisle: I'm afraid you're not right for this role. Thanks for coming by.

Dorothy Michaels: Why am I not right, Mister Carlisle?

Ron Carlisle: I'm trying to make a certain statement and I'm looking for a specific physical type.

Dorothy Michaels: Mr. Carlisle, I'm an actress. I'm a character actress. I can play it any way you want.

Ron Carlisle: I'm sure you're a very good actress. It's just that you're not threatening enough.

Dorothy Michaels: Not threatening enough? Listen, you take your hands off me or I'll knee your balls right through the roof of your mouth! Is that enough of a threat?

Ron Carlisle: [shaken] It's a start.

[ad-libbing on day time television]

Dorothy Michaels: Dr Brewster tried to seduce several nurses in this unit, claiming to be the throes of an uncontrollable impulse. Do you know what? I'm going to give every nurse on this floor an electric cattle prod and instruct them to just zap them in his badubies!

Ron Carlisle: Take, Tootsie.

Dorothy Michaels: Ron? I have a name it's Dorothy. It's not Tootsie or Toots or Sweetie or Honey or Doll.

Ron Carlisle: Oh, Christ.

Dorothy Michaels: No, just Dorothy. Alan's always Alan, Tom's always Tom and John's always John. I have a name too. It's Dorothy, capital D-O-R-O-T-H-Y.

Dorothy Michaels: What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give my girls tits... tips?

Julie: [answering phone] Hello?

Dorothy Michaels: That's a corncob.

Dorothy Michaels: Oh I know what y'all really want is some gross, caricature of a woman to prove some idiotic point that power makes a woman masculine, or masculine women are ugly. Well shame on you for letting a man do that, or any man that does that. That means you, dear. Miss Marshall. Shame on you, you macho shit head.

Julie: I know I'm pretty and I use it. I just guess I shouldn't have gone to Dr. Brewster's office so late.

Dorothy Michaels: Well, no, that's not true. You know, Dr. Brewster has tried to seduce several nurses on this ward, always claiming to be in the throes of an uncontrollable impulse. Do you know what?

Ron Carlisle: Uh-oh.

Dorothy Michaels: I think I'm gonna give every nurse on this floor an electric cattle prod, and just instruct them to just *zap* him in his badoobies.

Julie: [Tries, unsuccessfully, to hold back a giggle]

Ron Carlisle: Cattle prod?

Dorothy Michaels: Ruby? Hi, you wanna open the Yellow Pages under the section, Farm Equipment Retail...

John Van Horne: [finishing his drink] Dorothy, I want you.

Dorothy Michaels: I beg your pardon?

Mrs. Crawley, Amy's Nanny: Miss Nichols.

Dorothy Michaels: Oh, my stars!

Julie: Dorothy, this is Mrs. Crowley. She helps me with Amy.

Mrs. Crawley, Amy's Nanny: THAT CHILD WILL NEVER LEARN ANYTHING IF...

Julie: Thank you, Mrs. Crowley.

[whispering, to Dorothy]

Julie: She scares the shit out of me.